Today, I've been kind of obsessed with figuring out school stuff, specifically when I'll actually be able to graduate. And you know what I found out? I only need 56 hours to graduate after this semester! That's crazy. I mean, I knew that I was ahead, but not that far ahead! So after crunching the numbers, I can graduate a year early if I take 9 hours of summer school and 16 hours every regular semester. May 2012, here I come! :) This is really exciting. I mean, I've always talked about graduating early, but it's becoming a reality now. Of course, nothing is certain :). Who knows. But now at least I know that it's doable!

And what's also really cool is knowing that after this semester ALL of my basics are done. Even the ones for my major. So from now on, besides Hebrew I get to choose all my classes within my major! That means taking more specific and fun Bible classes for the rest of my college experience :). Wonderful. College is starting to get fun ;). Knowing that will definitely help me get through this semester.

Oh, AND, I've decided to minor in Biblical Languages :). I mean, if I'm really struggling in Hebrew this time next year, then I won't... but so far I really like it and feel like I'm latching on. Languages are fairly easy for me to learn, or at least comprehend at a basic level, if for no other reason than that I simply think that they are interesting (makes it easier to connect and engage with them). ANYWAYS, if Hebrew goes well, next year I'll take both Hebrew and Greek, so completing the hours for a Minor in Biblical Languages (22).

Is this for real?! This is basically my dream coming true :). How exciting!!!!


In other news.... it's ANDREW'S 21ST BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :):) Crazy!!!
Glad that I get to celebrate it here with the family in Dallas :) I love my fam!!



Now, to leave with a song stuck in my head...

You are good beyond measure
And my heart longs to give You pleasure
You fulfill all my longings
For all my life I will sing...

God, I love You and all You do
Your joy lives inside and does me good
Can I have more of You?
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
Oh, my God, You never let me down!
Can I have more of You?

Hey, guys :) Feels like I haven't posted in forever. It's basically true. Whew. Well, I'll give a more substantial update:

1. SCHOOL - ah, school. 17 hours! Ah! Fun stuff :). I'm in Church History, which is really interesting! I'm actually really liking it. It's not too hard so far, but a lot of reading. Then I have British Literature from 1785, which I also enjoy (I'm one of those weirdos who likes to read). We're going through the Romantics, so a lot of poetry :). But we're getting into the Gothic Romantics...about to read Frankenstein and such. Not as glamorous. We'll see how that goes. Then I have Hebrew... whew! I'm LOVING it of course :). I know the alphabet (or "alef-bet") backwards and forwards, and am starting to learn the vowels. Things will pick up speed and it will get harder, but right now it's fun because it's all new. I'm also in Biblical Backgrounds, which is basically a class about the archaeological background surrounding the context of the Bible. It's pretty tedious. Lots of reading and memorizing maps and such...but it's getting more interesting. It's harder to engage with, but I'm doing my best! This class also is going to have several projects. But I can do it! Lastly, I have Theology, which is fun. My professor is a really tall, old man - totally sweet, and he has this low, slow and thunderous voice. I like this class so far. We are required to do at least 40 pages of outside reading of other theology books a week, but that's like leisure for me anyway, so it's fun! I'm reading Redeemed! by Boyd Hunt, which I'm REALLY enjoying. He is dealing mostly so far with the Kingdom of God. My first 40 pages I read was about the person of the Holy Spirit, and the ones I just read for this week were about the Theology of the Kingdom Present. Very interesting stuff.

With school stuff, it was really overwhelming at first. But after these first two weeks, I definitely feel a lot better about all of it. Mostly because I actually enjoy pretty much all the material, and because this stuff is definitely more my "forte"; I like to read and LOVE learning about the Bible, biblical times, the Church and Christianity in general. The amount of homework I have this year is insanely more than I had last year...but I can do it. I've been diligent thus far, and I've been getting good grades on quizzes and such. I have a lot less "leisure" time, but such is life. As my mom said, Welcome to College! ;)

2. CHURCH - I could post a thousand posts about all that's going on with this stuff :). So exciting!!! Big news.

  - So, I'm officially a LIFEGROUP LEADER!!! :) After a pretty crazy turn of events, our Lifegroup has officially multiplied three ways already! Mel is leading a Nursing Lifegroup (reaching out to the nursing majors on campus... it's been going really well so far!), Sarah and David are starting a Young Adult Lifegroup (the first young adult lifegroup for this church to have! The need for one has been growing. This summer our LG acquired a few new young married couples, and we're really going to try to focus more on reaching out to the college students this year, so in order for both age groups to flourish we have multiplied into two), and Joey and I are leading a College LG! Woohoo! :) We're leading with Katie and Grant, which I'm totally excited about. We're going to meet actually on campus, in the lower level of Remschel Hall (in a really nice study/movie room with couches and a TV and everything). First LG went really well!! I'm so excited about all of this. It's lots of changes all the sudden, but it's all so good. I'm really excited about reaching out more especially to the Freshmen and Sophomores who haven't gotten involved in community yet. And of course leading with Joey is fun :).

  - Mission UMHB went AMAZINGLY! So much better than I anticipated. Basically, every night the first week of school we went to the dorms and handed out cookies to the people who signed up for some during the Church Fair. The goal was to get in good conversations about community and to kind of see where they are all at with that. We also invited them to worship with us at the Gazebo at 7:00 each night. There, we would worship to a few songs and then someone would quickly share vision about who we are and what we do. So good!! Wednesday night, especially was amazing. There were more new people than there were of us! The absolute best part about all of this is making connections and meeting people who are hungry for community. I made connections with several freshmen girls who are really interested in running with us who I can disciple! So exciting. This is the best kind of stuff. THIS is what I want to do for the rest of my life. See God change hearts, walk with others in community, and then watch THEM do the same for others, reach out to those who don't know Jesus together, grow together, and then MULTIPLY not only in Belton, TX, but to other parts of America and ultimately to the nations! Nothing else I'd rather do. I love simply walking with community and living out the simple Kingdom values of loving God, loving each other and loving those who don't know Jesus with other people. It really doesn't get any better than that :). This stuff is so real. God is already working in college students' hearts... and it's only the second week! This semester is going to be amazing :).


Well, that's it for now. Today has been wonderful... I have this amazing spot I go to now on a slightly isolated bench swing under this huge tree; I went there today with all my homework and stuff and did homework for nearly four and a half hours... so relaxing!! I  have a little more to do so I need to go. I also have to PACK because I'm going to Dallas tomorrow to finally see my precious family and celebrate Andrew's TWENTY-FIRST BIRTHDAY!!!!! :) Awesome.

So, talk to you guys later! Can't wait to share more about what's going on and what God's doing :) Love you all!

Tomorrow is Friday, and it will mark the end of one of the craziest, most exhilarating weeks of my life! I'm really feeling it now. Literally every ounce my time these past four days before 10 pm has been accounted for. I get up, spend time with Jesus, go to classes, come back, do my homework, go straight to do outreach in the dorms with Antioch, then worship/sharing vision time with the Lifegroups and new people we met at the gazebo at 8. God has been doing some awesome things this week! Hope to have time to blog about it more later.

Sorry I'm MIA. Classes are crazy. Who let me take 17 hours?! This semester is definitely going to be difficult. Each class is pretty demanding (which I know is normal, but for me it's a transition right now because it's a stark contrast to last year!). But I'm up for the challenge and hold on to the truth that He gives grace for EVERY season!

You are more, You are more
Than my words will ever say
You are Lord, You are Lord
All creation will proclaim
You are HERE, You are here
In Your presence I'm made whole
You are God, You are God
Of all else I'm letting go

Oh, I'm running to Your arms
I'm running to Your arms
The riches of Your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world, forever reign!

-"Forever Reign", Hillsong United

In my mind dreams go wild
I catch the breeze
    it sets my feet to fly
As I go on in my own
  world of glory
Just like I'm living in
  a fairy story

But in the end
  I'm only chasing after
 the wind

What could I acquire
 to make my heart delight in what it finds?
Nothing I desire can bring me joy
    Like You

The wind leads on,
    dancing through the trees
Tripping over meadow brooks
Rustling the leaves
And so I follow
   intent to taste the bliss
To relish in the feast
   or awaken to a lover's kiss

But in the end
   I'm only chasing after 
 the wind...


-"Chasing After the Wind", Clear

Beautiful. May I take hold of that which is truly life...

Welp.... I had started a blog post Wednesday at about 5:20, and had just gotten around tonight (at about 10) to finishing it because I've been out of the room the rest of the time... but something happened and the post is gone. Ha! I don't have the energy to re-write it. Sorry! It was mostly updates. I'll probably echo the sentiments in posts to come.

All I'll say now is that I have been really busy the past few days! But it's been a good busy. With church we are gearing up to really go for it next week and reach out to the freshmen ("Mission UMHB" :). Very exciting!

Mkay. Goodnight. Love you all!

I really do love my mom so much and am so incredibly thankful for her! :)

About this time last year, both of us were frantically trying to get me ready to go off to college. I was largely in denial about it all, but mom helped me keep everything in order and took care of me so much better than I attempted to take care of myself. Mom always knows best. A funny story from the day that I actually arrived at UMHB when mom and dad were helping me move in: we were all at Target, getting last minute things I needed. Mom was totally convinced that I needed "bins". So after seeing Target's collection of function-and-form college bins, she, despite my objections, shoved 3 or 4 color-coordinating bins into the basket. One of my favorite memories from that day (and one of many "defining" memories I have of the three of us) is, after my failed attempts to convince my Mother With a Mission that the bins weren't necessary, when my dad (who understands mom better than I do) finally just looked at me with "that look" and said, "Molly - you're getting bins." I knew he was right. My closet overfloweth with bins last year, and I loved it.

Gotta love Moms. As I go off to college again in the next few days, I know that mom and I are going to have more "You're getting bins" moments and times when our "energies clash". But, all the same, I'm reminded that all mom ever does is to make me happy and take care of me. I also know that times like this when she gets to help me prepare and take care of me are going to be fewer and farther between. So I'm doing my best to cherish it all. Love you, mom!

As the title of this post indicates, I went to Belton and back again today! To meet my Aunt Kim halfway between Houston and Dallas to pick up Beth. I may or may not have arrived in Belton about 3 hours earlier, though, so I could see some pretty special people... : )


Not too much else to report. Excitement is bubbling up inside of me: for the outreach CYS is going to be doing tomorrow!!, for a daddy date in the very near future, for packing a LOT LESS for college than I did last year, and, ultimately, for seeing some lovely Beltonian faces Tuesday at Lifegroup, and thenceforth :).

12:1 Six days before the Passover, Jesus therefore came to Bethany, where Lazarus was, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. 2 So they gave a dinner for him there. Martha served, and Lazarus was one of those reclining with him at table. 3 Mary therefore took a pound of expensive ointment made from pure nard, and anointed the feet of Jesus and wiped his feet with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. 4 But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (he who was about to betray him), said, 5 “Why was this ointment not sold for three hundred denarii and given to the poor?” 6 He said this, not because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief, and having charge of the moneybag he used to help himself to what was put into it. 7 Jesus said, “Leave her alone, so that she may keep it for the day of my burial. 8 For the poor you always have with you, but you do not always have me.”

John 12:1-8

I've been thinking about this passage lately. Praying I can "waste my life" for Jesus, pouring all of who I am at His feet.

So, I'm back in Belton in exactly 5 days! Crazy. Never thought this time would come. So much good, and so much I'll miss here. Savoring every last bit of summer. It's been so sweet. As much as I've wanted to be back in Belton already, again, I'm reminded of all He's taught me and all the time I've gotten to spend with my family this summer - my heart is overflowing with thankfulness to God!

More on that later, though.

Today's been quite a productive day!

1. Periodontist Appt. On September 7th, I'm going to have that weirdo tooth taken out and a screw implanted into my gum to begin the "tooth implant" process that will take about 3-4 months. Woohoo! I'm excited to get rid of this thing. Oh, and update - I've been mostly pain-free in the past two days :) Thanks for anyone who prayed for it!

2. Ordered 8 books off of Amazon for the new year! Crazy. I'm getting kind of nerdily excited about the school aspect of the Fall. It's starting to become more real that I'll be going back to UMHB. AND, I'm saving (my parents) good money on books! Through Amazon, with Amazon Student and the buyback stuff, we're saving about $60 than if we were to buy it all at UMHB! Plus, don't have to wait in the lines. Woohoo! :) AND, such a blessing, my dear friend Katie from LG is letting me use her Hebrew books!


Okay, I guess those were the only two things. But it still all felt pretty productive :). Now, off to do more things. Love you all!

Such a great song. I remember learning this song on the piano when I was just beginning to learn how to play. This was always my favorite song to sing in church! Thought about it today. Love it!

You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all
Seeking You as a precious jewel
Lord, to give up I'd be a fool
You are my all in all

Taking my sin, my cross, my shame
Rising again I bless Your name
You are my all in all
When I fall down, You pick me up
When I am dry You fill my cup
You are my all in all

Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name
Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name

It's been a while since my last update. Things are going well! This last week was particularly interesting. Went on family vacation to Galveston with the Swans (a family very dear to me!) to help them out with their babies and kids. It was so much fun!

What has not been as fun in the past few days is the aching developing all over the left side of my mouth, likely due to the weirdo tooth I have on my bottom jaw that doesn't have an adult tooth under it. It's getting loose and has been hurting more. Thankfully I'm going to the Periodontist on Thursday to get it checked out (I'm going to have to get it taken out and have an implant put in, etc.). But I also have an open sore under it, so that's not really helping! Ha. I've been trying my best not to be Complainosaurus Rex^TM (a funny title Joey and I came up with) about it, but it's hard because it's difficult and painful to eat/talk. But it will all get worked out soon :)

In other news... 9 days until I move back to Belton. Weird! It truly has been an amazing summer. I'm blessed beyond all comprehension or reason.

Welp, I'm going to do a Variety Post, mainly focused on Recommendations I have :). We'll see how this goes. Not to say, of course, that I have an extremely credible opinion or that my recommendation/endorsement of anything on here will actually affect anything... but at the very least this could (hopefully) be interesting to read :).


Recommendations

Books

1. Radical by David Platt
Especially if you want to be challenged and basically rocked out of your comfort zone. And if you are concerned with/interested about the apparent discrepancy between the American Church and the description of the early Church.

2. Spiritual Authority by Watchman Nee
Especially if you don't understand exactly what the term "Spiritual Authority" even really means (I sure didn't). In general I recommend this book to everyone, though, because Nee has a lot of great things to say about obedience, the Kingdom and the Church. He says some pretty radical/challenging things. I was especially challenged by what he had to say about having opinions/using reason. It's offensive/odd to read at first, but I think that it would do us well to read some offensive and radical stuff. Time for some quotes... :)

"God's kingdom is that realm within which the will of God is carried out without any interference... The Lord Himself is actually the kingdom of God. When the Lord Jesus is among you the kingdom of God is in your midst. This is because God's authority is completely carried out in His life... because the Lord's life is released to the church and so God's kingdom extends also to the church. ...There can be no church without the Lord Jesus, and there can be no further extension of God's kingdom without the church."

"All who really know God obey Him without argument... if anyone wishes to learn obedience he must cast aside reason. He must either live by God's authority or live by human reason - it is absolutely impossible to live by both. The earthly life of the Lord Jesus was entirely above reason. What reason could there be for the disgrace, the lashing, and the crucifixion which He suffered? But He submitted Himself to God's authority; He neither argued nor questioned; He only obeyed! To live under reason is so complicated! Consider the birds of the air and the lilies in the valley. How simply they live. The more we are subject to authority the simpler our lives will be."

"Only after the glory of the Lord appears to us do we realize that we are but dead dogs and lumps of clay. All our arguments will fade away in the light of His glory. The more a person lives in glory, the less he reasons."

"God does not look at how fervently we preach the gospel or how willingly we suffer for Him; He looks to see how obedient we are. God's kingdom begins when there is an absolute obedience to God - no voicing of opinion, no presenting of reasonings, no murmuring, no reviling... Wherever there is a church on this earth who truly obeys God's authority, there is the testimony of the Kingdom and there Satan is defeated. Satan is not afraid of our work so long as we act on the principle of rebellion. He only laughs in secret when we do things according to our own thoughts."

"Those who are naturally talkative, opinionated, and self-conceited need a radical dealing, a basic bending. ...Only after one is scourged by God does he begin to live in fear and trembling before Him... How we need to be slain by God's light."

"I must live in His presence, commune with Him continuously and seek to know His mind. Unless I have seen something there with God, I have nothing to say here to men. May the Lord be merciful to us that we may forever live before God and fear Him."

"He who vindicates himself does not know God. No one on earth could ever be more authoritative than Christ, yet He never defended Himself."

"Let us therefore confess our sin, acknowledging that we are just too small and too hard. God's desire for us is that we have grace within. May we be those who allow God to judge in all things. To be gracious to others is the character of all who are in authority."

"It is God who makes a rod sprout. It is He who puts the power of life into a dead and dried rod. The rod which sprouts causes both the owner of that rod to be humble and the murmurings of the owners of other rods to cease. ...We will naturally be humbled before God, for it is truly the treasure in the earthen vessel, demonstrating that the transcendent power belongs to God and not to us. Only the foolish can be proud."

"Resurrection is that which I cannot, but which God can; what I am not, but what God is."

"We must learn on the one hand how to submit and on the other hand how to represent God. This means we must know the cross and the resurrection. Whether the church has a future depends very much on how well we learn our lessons."

"We must have the outward man broken that the inner life may flow out. When a man's outer shell is broken he is brought very near to others and life may easily flow forth. Otherwise the life will remain enclosed, the spirit hard to come out, and thus the way to give life to others blocked. It is when the grain of wheat falls into the ground and has its shell burst that life begins to flow. Hence the Lord says, 'Whosoever shall lose his life for my sake shall find it' (Matt 16.25)."

"We must sense our incompetency, because God only uses the useless."

So good!!!!! I know that's a lot of quotes. Believe it or not, that is a revised list :)

3. The Wonderful Spirit-Filled Life by Charles Stanley
Especially if you want to get to know the Holy Spirit more and learn about what the Bible says His role is in our new identities and what that means for us today. It's so good! I learned a lot from this one. It really deepened for me my understanding of and love for the Spirit as my Guide, Comforter, and as the One who produces the fruit through me as I abide in the Vine.

4. Intimate Friendship With God Through Understanding the Fear of the Lord by Joy Dawson
Especially if you want to understand more of the fear of the Lord and be challenged. This one convicted/changed me in a lot of ways. A few quotes...

"So the fear of the Lord should produce in us the same attitude toward sin that God has, which is to hate it. It should also give us a deep respect for and understanding of the holiness of God, the power of God and the sufficiency of God to meet man's need."

"With the simplicity of a child, we can come to our loving heavenly Father and trust him to lead us one step at a time along the pathway of obedience that leads to intimate friendship with Him. He is longing to take our hand and do just that."

5. The Pursuit of Holiness by Jerry Bridges
Especially if you want to learn more about the command of God to be Holy as He is holy (1 Peter 1:16). This one is really good both in concepts and practicality, if that makes sense. I'm technically not done with it yet, but so far it has caused a lot of contemplation and seeking out what holiness truly means! He has a lot of great things to say on this subject - some uncomfortable... but, again, that's a good thing :).



Albums

1. "In Feast or Fallow" by Sandra McCracken
2. "Your Love Never Fails" by Jesus Culture
3. "World Mandate 2010" by Antioch Community Church :)
4. "Follow the Narrow" by Clear
5. "Nickel Creek" by Nickel Creek


Songs

1. "More Like Falling in Love" by Jason Gray
2. "Your Love Reaches Me" by Vineyard. Can't find it on the iTunes store except by Randy Butler... but it sounds about the same. So good!
3. "The Fox, the Crow and the Cookie" by mewithoutYou (ha! This one's for you, Jo :)
4. "That Where I Am, There You May Also Be" by Rich Mullins
5. "Hiding Place" by New Life Worship


Restaurants

1. Taqueria #6 in Belton
2. Bevers Kitchen in Chappell Hill
3. Must Be Heaven in Brenham
4. Mr. G's Pizzeria in Bryan
5. Macaroni Grill... basically anywhere :)


Foods

1. "Mint Mint Chocolate Chocolate Chip" from Coldstone
2. An "Angel Food" smoothie from Smoothie King
3. Frozen Ding-Dongs
4. Homemade Kettle Corn
5. Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwich


Things to Look At

1. A tree
2. Birds
3. A Sunrise
4. A newborn baby
5. People's eyes


Passages to Meditate On

1. Psalm 103
2. John 15:1-17
3. Philippians 2:1-18
4. Ezekiel 37
5. Luke 6:20-49


Alright... I think that's all I got! I'm going to take a quick nap now. I love Sunday afternoons...

We tend to think of God as more of the helper in this world and, yes, the savior of the world. But He is more than that. He didn't just come down to save us to give us a better life later. To give us the ticket into heaven. And I don't know if I'm making so much sense, but like I sometimes feel like there is the world and God kinda stepped in and shook things up.And I too often look at life through the worlds eyes as just doing what I want, going to school, getting a job, doing good, and having Jesus there to fall back on and then see him in Heaven. He invited us to heaven, we RSVP, but don't talk to him till we get to heaven. You know? And not even that. I mean cause I pray and stuff. But I don't see that my purpose has to be to be a disciple. I guess. Like I do, but I am so afraid to do it because it'll be stepping into someone's business. ANd it's kinda like, this is my path, you choose your path. But it's not like that. God created the world. This is HIS world. He made everything and through him everything is. Christ is all. And when I truly look at it that way, my whole purpose and being changes. I realize that I have been brought back to where I belonged in the first place. It's not that he just was there and then looked at us and decided to save us. But he created us and his creation as a whole turned from him and spat in his face. But then, by his grace, he's allowed us to turn back. So I am apart of the redeemed. And I am just here waiting till I go to be with Jesus. Where I belong. And I will do what I was made to do, and that is glorify him and be with him. And when I see my life like that, I realize that my duty on this earth is to bring the world back to Jesus. And it doesn't scare me as much. It makes it that more important than if I look at life through the worlds eye and Christianity as just another religion. It's more than that. And so I need to share with people. But all this is easier said than done. But I just have to pray that God will give me the one mindset, the true mindset of how God is above and in and through all things. He is master and creator and King. And that is why I'm here. He's not here for me. I'm here for him. And hopefully if He gives me that mindset, then my fear and pride will just be crushed down. And I will start to see people more broken and in need of their savior.

Said very poignantly by the beautiful Bethany :) Who, by the way, is SEVENTEEN today! Crazy! Love ya, sis :)

Wow. So I have two more weeks left here in Houston. Monday the 16th I take myself and my boxes back to Belton! So surreal.

I am feeling many emotions right now. Let me try to flesh it all out...

Just came back from KidzCamp. I am extremely tired. I have napped most of this afternoon, but I still feel quite weary. One thing that I have been meditating on though is a little phrase Paul uses in 2nd Corinthians. He says that he would most gladly spend and be spent for their souls (2 Corinthians 12:15). Though I would only be able to ascribe to a tiny morsel of what Paul is talking about, I think I can relate right now especially to that feeling he's talking about - the feeling of both spending and being spent. Giving your resources and being used as a resource. Paul uses other language like this - he says that he makes himself a slave to all that he might win more (2 Corinthians 9:19). Of course, this is not a new concept. Jesus Himself taught this idea. One of my favorite passages, and most convicting, comes from Luke 6:

27 “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. 29 To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. 30 Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. 31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.

32 “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. 35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. 36 Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful."

This is pretty radical stuff. Sometimes I wonder if any of us have even touched the surface of what Jesus really meant here. The average Evangelical American probably can't say that they are hated in violent ways, cursed on a regular basis, or abused (though God knows that a countless many, even in America, are abused. Lord help us!). Yet we don't even hardly love, do good, bless or pray for our brothers and sisters in Christ, much less for the person who just took our seat or called us a bad name.

If you think about it, Jesus is basically telling us to be an open resource for anyone to come and use us, whether for good for for bad. (Of course, I realize there is a lot of wisdom that needs to come in here - but I think that you can understand what I'm saying.) Give to everyone who begs from you. Jesus surely couldn't have meant THAT! But I have no reason to believe that Jesus didn't mean that. He also says that when people insist on taking from us we should give them even more than they are asking for. He says to lend money without expecting to be paid back.

This has been weighing heavy on me for a while. I'm finding that the more I spend time with Jesus and the more I read what He says and get to know His character, the more I'm challenged and convicted within me - the more I feel cut to the heart. I start to question my motivations and basically every aspect of my life. Very heavy. BUT, I hold on to the truth that Jesus loves me and that the Spirit is committed to guiding me into truth (John 16:13). He is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. I don't believe that we understand the heart of Jesus if the conviction we feel when we read His words cause us to feel condemned or like we maybe aren't even saved or that Jesus is angry with us. While Jesus does get angry and turn over tables (John 2:13-15), He also gently says "Go, and from now on sin no more" (John 8:11). His call to us is not one that is to be harshly heard or received with guilt and shame. Rather, His call to us - both the call to believe and be saved and the many calls of following Him every day - is one to be heard gently and received freely. This is the heart of God, and this is the heart of Jesus as well. Isaiah 55 says:

"Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters. And he who has no money, come, buy and eat. Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food."

We have the freedom to accept His gift of life without money and without price! His call to us is one to come freely with just the clothes on our backs and eat what is good. Praise the LORD!

But there's more. It's not like it's a "catch", per se, but there is more. The call of Jesus is one to come and die. Die to your dreams. Die to your idea of what your life is going to look like. Let go of all attachments. Be ready to be persecuted and abused. Be ready to be hated by the world. Be ready to not be entitled to anything that you have worked so hard for and give it all away. Be ready to be willing to give in what appears to be a careless or irresponsible way. Be ready to die for Him.

This is the call I've been wrestling with for the past year. There's definitely a temptation to want to say, "Um, this is not what I signed up for." But maybe that's the problem. Maybe we aren't "signing up" for the right thing. Maybe we're signing up for never dying and having eternal life in Heaven but not for "dying" here on earth and living for the Kingdom now. But Jesus says that to save your life you must lose it (Mark 8:34-37). What grieves, disturbs and burdens me is that many only read about and "sign up" for the saving your life part but don't read about or agree to the losing it part.

This all sounds so dismal and heavy; while, in one sense, I think that we could use a little - or a lot of, rather - burden on our hearts, as I've posted about before, His commandments are not burdensome (1 John 5:3). His yoke is easy and His burden is light (Matthew 11:29-30). What a mystery; what great salvation (Hebrews 2:3)!

This news should all lead us to rejoicing. And with tears in my eyes I can say that though I feel like I've lost a lot of my life this year, I've found so much more. There is ALWAYS more. It's so scary- believe me! - but it's so worth it. I don't understand why, but Jesus has revealed Himself to me in more ways that I can count this year. The Spirit has led me to more truth, given more peace, and produced more fruit through me. God has revealed His love to me in radical ways that has changed me forever. I am so undeserving. But He has pursued me, wooed me with His love, and gently led me to where I am now. I still have SO much more to go, but I look back on this last year with such thankfulness. Oh, what a Savior! This year has been the most exhilarating, challenging, exciting, transforming year of my entire life. And while it's caused me to leave a lot behind, I wouldn't trade it for the world. And here's why: Because with Him is the fountain of Life (Psalm 34:9). Because God is good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon Him (Psalm 86:5). Because the words Jesus has spoken are Spirit and Life, and because the flesh is of no avail (John 6:63). Because He has been faithful to me - because He loved me to the end - I can be faithful to Him. Because He has been kind to me, the ungrateful and evil, I can be kind to others. Because of His promise that when I abide in Him the Spirit can produce fruit through me, I can die to my desire to accomplish things on my own power and simply abide and bear fruit that I can't take any kind of credit for, save for the testimony of the Spirit within me. Such is the mystery. With fear and trembling I have learned more what it means to work out my salvation, and have watched joyously as God has worked in me both to will and to work for His good pleasure (Philippians 2:12-13).

I could post a thousand posts on what He's taught me this year. I could sing a thousand songs about His love and talk for years about the wonderfulness and abundant joy of the new life I've found. I can only hope that I can be an effective follower of Christ, producing crops useful for others by the blessing of the rain that has often fallen on me (Hebrews 6:7).

I really do want everyone to know that there's always more. There's always more than we believe there is. Jesus loves you with a love that we could never understand. He's gently calling you to let go of your attachments and bind yourself to His grace. He's calling you to die, but ultimately, He's calling you to live and take hold of that which is truly life (1 Timothy 6:19).

Who knows what He has in store for me. This afternoon as I had time to think and read blogs and watch videos (specifically about living overseas) I was about to jump out of my skin with excitement, though my heart was breaking more and more at the same time. I want to love and care for the children in Cambodia and be apart of the amazing revival and work of the Holy Spirit there. I want to declare life and freedom to the folk in Belton, TX. I want to go to the people of Quebec (the most unreached and spiritually dry people group in North America) and watch as the dry bones become an army. I want to watch as God restores and rebuilds Haiti. I want to see Him work in and transform the lives of friends here in Cypress and back at UMHB and of family that I am praying for with all the faith that I can muster, holding on to the promise that God will give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night (Luke 18:7-8).

Who knows where I'll end up or what I end up doing. With trembling, excitement, and a healthy amount of fear - and by the grace of God - I say that it doesn't matter to me. But what I do know is that I'm committed to proclaiming and living out the Kingdom and that I'm devoted to loving Jesus, getting to know Him more, receiving His love and pouring it out on to everyone around me. Even writing that scares me because I know that I still have a lot of flesh to work out of me and that I have not "arrived" anywhere. But because I've tasted and seen, and because of His promises, I can say with confidence that He has me in His hands and that I will never go back. Though I may wander a little while, He will be faithful to gently call me back to Him. I've tasted and seen His goodness, and I will never be the same. God, grant me the grace to live as one who inherits the promises (Hebrews 6:12).

The Lord's Prayer in Swahili. Simply beautiful. Watch, listen, and enjoy!

Top Five "As Seen on TV" Products I Want
1. Topsy Turvy (tomato plant)
2. Snuggie (duh)
3. The Perfect Brownie (seriously... how awesome is that?!)
4. ShamWOW (I still want to see one in action)
5. Kettle Popcorn Maker


I don't know if it's the genius of the commercials (well, when I say "genius" I mean totally ridiculous and hilarious) or the way these products keep you strangely intrigued; whatever it is, I LOVE infomercials/made for TV products! I can't say I've actually ever owned a made for TV product... but one day I will! I think it's so cool. The fact that different people get slightly annoyed at little inconveniences in life and then do something about it by making a product to remedy something very specific is awesome. Love it.

Listen to this song and meditate on the person of Jesus. May He create within us thankful hearts!

Listen, all you unborn children

And those yet to be born again:

A seed from the God of heaven

Was planted here on the world of men

He grew up only to be broken

He grew up only to be buried

"Hold on," I heard the prophets say

"Hold on, that's not the end..."



'Cause when the cross went up, and the curtain came down

A hush fell across the stage

When the stone was rolled back

All the angels came round

And the Earth stood up on his to feet to say,



"Crown Him love, crown Him alive and well

Crown Him God of our salvation

Crown Him lovely, crown Him Beautiful

He is God and we adore Him

We adore Him"



'Cause when the cross went up, and the curtain came down

A hush fell across the stage

When the stone was rolled back

All the angels came round



And the Earth stood up on his feet

Creation began to speak:

"Here comes Jesus, in a purple robe;

Here comes Jesus, like a lovely rose!

Here comes Jesus back from the dead,

Here comes Jesus holding out His hand."

WOW what a week!

Worked this week more than I had in the previous two weeks. I've been running more. Joey's sister-in-law Heidi had her baby on Wednesday!! Micah Behr Wahlquist, born at 7:57 A.M., 7 pounds, 9 ounces :). Joey came down, picked me up, and then we went on over to the Woodlands to see him! So precious. The first time I've gotten to see/hold a newborn baby since Blake was born! Babies really are miracles. And THEN, the next day, the Baltensperger's (Lauren and Austin, a young couple at Antioch) had their firstborn, Caleb Robert Baltensperger! Get this - he was 10 pounds! Whew! And she did it all-natural, at home. You go girl. Very exciting! I really do love babies :).

Had a really good CYS tonight! Played "Four People On a Couch" afterward... that was pretty fun! The girls won :).

Man, I feel like I don't have much anything profound to say right now. Joey is coming again this weekend :). Got to see/hang out with Danielle! Get to sleep in tomorrow and rest for most of the day. Good stuff!

"God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us..."
Romans 5:5

Praise Jesus that all He asks of us He provides in abundance by the Spirit and through faith in Jesus Christ.

He asks us to love Him and to love others, and He pours love into our hearts!

Thank You, Spirit, for the way you guide, comfort, reveal and illuminate.

That's all! Have a great day.

Sorry I haven't really had a substantial blog in a while! I would say that I'm too busy... but that would not be 100% truthful :). Lots good stuff has been going on.

As always, what better way to blog than in "List" fashion? None I can think of! :)

1. I've been reading a lot more lately, which has been great! So far I've finished Intimate Friendship with God Through Understanding the Fear of the Lord by Joy Dawson, Radical by David Platt, and The Wonderful Spirit-Filled Life by Charles Stanley, all three of which I recommend! I'm still in the process of finishing Spiritual Authority by Watchman Nee, which is actually the one that I've been trying to trek through the longest. But it's so good! I want to devote a blog to posting some quotes from that one. Here's a sneak peek:

"All who really know God obey Him without argument ... If anyone wishes to learn obedience he must cast aside reason. He must either live by God's authority or live by human reason - it is absolutely impossible to live by both. The earthly life of the Lord Jesus was entirely above reason. What reason could there be for the disgrace, the lashing, and the crucifixion which He suffered? But He submitted Himself to God's authority; He neither argued nor questioned; He only obeyed! To live under reason is so complicated! Consider the birds of the air and the lilies in the valley. How simply they live. The more we are subject to authority the simpler our lives will be."

"Once the Church has truly obeyed, all nations will follow suit. The responsibility on the Church is immense. When the will and command of God find free passage in the Church, His kingdom shall surely come."

I've especially benefited from The Wonderful Spirit-Filled Life lately. I really recommend that to everyone. It's opened my eyes so much to the person of the Holy Spirit and His role in our lives as Christians and as branches in the Vine. Many of the truths I've gleaned from this book and through the Word have been so freeing!


2. One thing I've been thinking about a lot lately, and a theme that has come up, is that it's all a matter of the heart. I feel like in my Christian walk in the past year or so I've kind of had to work backwards. Rather than making myself pure from the outside in, Jesus desires for us to first have pure hearts. This is echoed in Jesus' words:

“Now you Pharisees cleanse the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside you are full of greed and wickedness. You fools! Did not he who made the outside make the inside also? But give as alms those things that are within, and behold, everything is clean for you."
Luke 11:38-40

Because when we have pure hearts, good things flow from them!

“Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit. You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil."
Matthew 12:33-35

I read this verse a week ago, and I realized how truly scary this is. I guess "scary" isn't the right word... but it sure has instilled more fear of the Lord inside me and has made me more carefully consider the motives behind things I do/say!

"Know the God of your father and serve him with a whole heart and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches all hearts and understands every plan and thought."
1 Chronicles 28:9

The fact that God searches our hearts and doesn't just know but UNDERSTANDS our plans and our thoughts is pretty crazy! Over and over again in the Bible I've found that it really is a matter of the heart. There is verse after verse that I have found that points to this. Some other examples:

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God."
Matthew 5:8

"Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith."
Hebrews 10:22

"Love one another earnestly from a pure heart."
1 Peter 1:22

"And all the churches will know that I am He who searches mind and heart."
Revelation 2:23

"Their heart is false [or "divided"]; Now they are guilty."
Hosea 10:2

"Let your heart therefore be wholly true to the Lord our God, walking in His statues and keeping his commandments."
1 Kings 8:61

"You are those who justify yourselves before men, but God knows your hearts."
Luke 16:15

"In your hearts regard Chris the Lord as holy."
1 Peter 3:15

So this is another one of those things that only Jesus can do! Anyone in their own power, if they worked hard enough, can look good/pure on the outside. To have even our thoughts and motives to be pure in our hearts, though, we need a miracle - the Spirit to come and sanctify us through faith in Jesus Christ! That's pretty wonderful.


3. This verse:

"By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey his commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome."
1 John 5:2-3

I love that. His commandments are not burdensome! How often do we wearily walk along as if we have this huge burden on our backs? We feel like "have" to do all these spiritual things, and grudgingly we do them until we burn out. But God says that His commandments are not burdensome. His commandment essentially comes down to loving the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and loving your neighbor as yourself. Simple. Jesus says that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Not to say that following Jesus is easy, but in doing so we are not to be heavy-laden. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom! (1 Corinthians 3:17)


4. I've long been chewing on what it means to "pray in the Spirit". The other day I noticed this verse; one I'm sure I've read thousands of times.

"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God."
Romans 8:26-27

That last part where it says that the Spirit intercedes "according to the will of God." Now, look at this verse:

"And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us."
1 John 5:14

If we ask anything according to His will, He hears us! But how can we know what His will is? We can't! Not without the Spirit. Apart from Him we truly can do nothing; we can't even pray effectively. What great news. The Spirit intercedes according to the will of God! This is so freeing. So in praying, I should seek to pray with the Spirit. I have the freedom to ask Him what to pray for a certain person. He helps us. We don't know how to pray. But He does! And when we pray alongside the Spirit, we can be confident that God hears us.


5. Personal update... not much to report, I suppose. I got to go to Belton on Sunday night for the College Lifegroup Leader Meeting with Joey! That was a lot of fun. I'm getting really excited for the Fall!! Great things are coming :).

Jo also got to spend the weekend here in Houston with my family and I. It was wonderful! And, what a blessing, he gets to come this weekend too :). Well, He'll be here Saturday night through Monday. We are so blessed.

Other than that stuff... I'm enjoying the flexibility and freedom of this season! Hopefully I'm taking advantage of it and not wasting my time. Lovin' the family, community and things the Lord is teaching me.


Until next time!

Okay, so the past few days have been AWESOME! 5 words to sum it up...

1. Rest
2. Jesus
3. Community
4. Sunflowers :)
5. Sunny


Bah, there's so much I want to post on! The other day I made a little list of stuff I am going to post on at some point. Here's a little sneak peek...

1. 1 Chronicles 28:9 - "And you, Solomon my son, know the God of your father and serve him with a whole heart and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches all hearts and understands every plan and thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will cast you off forever."

2. 1 John 5:2-3 - "By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey his commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome."

3. Matthew 12:33-36 - “Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit. You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak."

4. Parallel between Romans 8:26-27 ("Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.") and 1 John 5:14 ("And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.")

5. The book The Wonderful Spirit-Filled Life by Charles Stanley


Get excited! :)



Oh, and for an update: due to several factors, the Haiti trip our church was going to go on has been canceled, or at least postponed. Either way, it's not happening Aug. 3-14 :(. I'm a little disappointed. But there's still great things in store for the rest of the summer!! It's always difficult, especially for someone like me, whenever plans/expectations fall through. I've had to adjust from thinking that my summer is over by the end of July to it going all the way until just a few days before school stars (August 23).

But instead of focusing on the negative, I've tried my best to choose to thank Him for the blessings!

1. More time with my family!
2. More time with friends/CYS here
3. I can save up a little more money through work
4. I was thinking about this yesterday - this summer really is such a blessing! I mean, sure, it's not what I expected, especially considering the new developments in my life (meaning, I never thought that I'd be in a relationship at this point, much less while being a few hours away from him for several months!), but I am so thankful for this season. I'm trying my best to just drink it in every day. Because, really, when else will I get the chance to work from home, see my family every day, have the comfort of my own room and familiarity, and be able to spend lots of simple down time with Jesus? During the school year, things get so much more crazy and the days of resting and pajamas and hours journaling, reading and worshiping are fewer and farther between! And realistically I have no idea what my next summer is going to look like.

So for now, I'm thanking the Lord for this season of my life :). It's so sweet. I'm learning SO SO much, and growing closer and closer to Him! It's not always easy, and there are times when I wish that I was back in Belton already, but this is where He has me now. And no matter where I am, HE'S with me. He's my security and consistency. He's provided everything I could ever need here. I love my family, I love my friends old and new, and I really do love Cypress. I love the ways that He's provided community for me here in ways I didn't expect. I love the way He speaks to me. I love the way He encourages me through other people. I love the pruning process, though it hurts. I love this season that Joey and I are in; sweet days of getting to spend hours and hours together at a time, even if it means we have to drive a little to do it, and sending things to each other in the mail. I love the wise people I'm surrounded by. I love the things I'm learning that I am storing up in my heart! Jesus, help me to treasure these times and all these things You are speaking to me! These are sweet, sweet days. What a blessing!