We didn't know what love was 'til He came
And He gave Love a face and He gave Love a name
And He gave love away like the sky gives the rain and sun
We were looking for heroes, He came looking for the lost
We were searching for glory, and He showed us a cross
Now we know what love is 'cause He loves us
All the way to kingdom come

Love is a miracle
It's a miracle if you can find it
And miracles are hard to come by these days
But the sweet Lord Jesus, He's a miracle man
He's got holes in His feet, in His side, in His hands
And if you ask for love, love pours through them
Like a ray of light, like a raging blaze

Life is a mystery
It's a mystery we're all living
This world is so fragile, and we're so frail
With the sweet Lord Jesus, His mysterious heart
Keeps the life-blood pumping at the center of it all
If He let go of us, we'd all blow apart
But He holds on tight, His love don't fail

-"All the Way to Kingdom Come", Rich Mullins

Hey loves!

Woke up at like 5 this morning. Not precisely sure why. :)



Just wanted to say:

It is SO worth it to wait, to spend your time pursuing holiness and falling in love with Jesus rather than searching for a future mate.

"I am my Beloved's, and my Beloved is mine."
SOS 6:3

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
4 Behold, he who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The Lord is your keeper;
the Lord is your shade on your right hand.
6 The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.

7 The Lord will keep you from all evil;
he will keep your life.
8 The Lord will keep
your going out and your coming in
from this time forth and forevermore.

Psalm 121

Beneath the cross of Jesus
I fain would take my stand,
the shadow of a mighty Rock
within a weary land;
a home within the wilderness,
a rest upon the way,
from the burning of the noontide heat,
and the burden of the day.

Upon that cross of Jesus
mine eye at times can see
the very dying form of One
who suffered there for me;
and from my stricken heart with tears
two wonders I confess:
the wonders of redeeming Love
and my unworthiness.

I take, O cross, thy shadow
for my abiding place;
I ask no other sunshine than
the sunshine of His face;
content to let the world go by,
to know no gain nor loss,
my sinful self my only shame,
my Glory all the Cross. 

-"Beneath the Cross of Jesus", Elizabeth C. Clephane

 

Home to watch Bethany's play. Bethie did SOOOO well, If I may just brag on her a little :). Even though the play was super dramatic and depressing, I couldn't stop smiling whenever I saw her on stage because I could tell that she was having so much fun acting and that she was enjoying being in the spotlight. She fully deserved this role, without a doubt. AND... dun dun dunn... she got on the ALL-STAR CAST! Which is a super-huge deal. I mean, there were 5 schools there, and only 6 or 7 people on the All-Star Cast - so she got one of 6 or 7 spots, out of at least 50 to 60 actors! That's pretty incredible :). I knew that she would get it. Her acting was so intense and dramatic. So, yay Bethany! Proud of you, sister :). 

 

Oh, and I hope you guys all know that my apparently highly-controversial post ("Desserts") was mostly a joke/tongue-in-cheek ("mostly" being the operative word ;). I'm actually trying really hard to try new things and such. I had a piece of carrot cake in Lifegroup on Tuesday, and I actually really liked it. I still don't think the concept of carrot in cake is normal, but you know.

 

I'm currently learning how to stop struggling/trying to figure out the details and to simply let Him carry me. Exciting stuff! Keep pressing into Jesus, friends. Let Him fill you every day. Hold on tight!

Just received "The Jesus Record" in the mail, by Rich Mullins and "a ragamuffin band". This contains the demos he recorded in an old church with a battery-powered tape recorder just 9 days before he died. Because of this fact, every song I listen to makes me want to cry! Each one echoes how much he really wanted to just be with Jesus. And now he is. Gives me chills!

I recommend it highly.

I can't go to sleep, so I'm going to try to "bloggify" (is that word acceptable?) a conversation daddy, Beth and I had the other day at Macaroni Grill. Enjoy :)

Well, it basically came down to a list. We were discussing desserts. Or, rather, I was originally trying to justify or explain why I don't like lemons in my cake. Macaroni Grill has those tablecloths you can write on, so, fortunately for dad and Beth, I was able to diagram and explain my Dessert Philosophy (or, specifically, which fruits/veggies can and cannot go in them). It goes a little something like this:

DESSERTS

In General
 - Only when cold, or at least congealed
     -- if I must have a dessert hot, there shall be no mixing temperatures (i.e. cold ice cream on hot
           brownie)
 - No vegetables
 - No cobblers
 - Minimal nuts
 - Chocolate is only to be consumed by itself
     -- Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream is an exception
     -- If you put peanut butter anywhere near my chocolate, off with your head!
 - The more flavor variety, the less attracted to said dessert I will be. There must be flavor cohesiveness

Specifics
 - Lemons
     -- Never ever
 - Bananas
     -- Put them in my bread, not in my pudding
 - Apples
     -- All the time
 - Strawberries
     -- Yes, please
 - Carrots
     -- Why would anyone put carrots in dessert? (Carrot Cake is a weird concept to me)
 - Blueberries
     -- Okay in muffins
 - Cherries
     -- Not usually
 - Pumpkin
     -- Never
 - Unnamed exotic fruits
     -- Not likely

Exceptions
 - Mom's apple pie can be eaten hot
 

I'd like to think that there's a least a semblance of rationale to my eating habits! You have to give me this: I keep to my rules, no matter how complex they may be.  ;)

Edinburg Trip Highlights:

1. Sharing the Gospel and praying for people everywhere we went. Was reminded over and over again of the Wonder of it all!

2. Children! 7 kids came: Lucy and Maggie (Sarah and David's), Lincoln, Libby and Oakes (the Smith's), Phoenix (Mark and Robyn's newborn), Beckett (Josh and Jess's newborn). Other than being with those kids a lot, I was also on the Kid's Team, and so on the outreaches I mainly ministered to the children. I got to play with them, share the Gospel with them, and pray with them; in general, I left Edinburg completely amazed at and inspired by the simple faith and joy of children

3. Being on the Dance Team as well :). So much fun! Learned a super-fun dance to Lecrae's "Stand Up". Ask me to do it for you sometime

4. Being a part of the drama the first outreach to fill a need. I was a cross

5. Being a room leader; shared a hotel room with Brittany, Micah (Jess's little sister) and Sarah (not Wahlquist)! It was super fun :)

6. Spending an hour with Jesus every morning. It was "required", but of course it was good to be made to do it to be reminded of how awesome and all-satisfying He is! How wonderful it is to wake up to Him and be filled first thing in the morning. In our room we also worshiped together first thing in the morning, which was really neat

7. Being a part of the band with Mark, Heath, Dillon, and Megan. Great group of people! Got to know them better, and of course had tons of fun leading worship in the mornings when we met for big group at Lifehouse :)

8. Tad's sermons every morning. Talked about the Father heart of God, the Holy Spirit, and humility

9. Just in general, being around my new Belton best friends for a week and getting to know them more

10. LOTS of laughter! :)

11. Sharing the Gospel with a 10-year old girl named Brittany who had never heard it before and seeing her eyes light up and her smile get really wide

12.  Praying for a new believer named Esther and her family; 13-year old daughter had been under constant basically demonic attack for a few months. Prayed against those spirits, for Peace, and for the Holy Spirit to fill their house - all in the powerful name of Jesus that is above every other name! Gave Esther a lot of verses and talked with her about her identity in Christ and got her connected with Lifehouse, encouraging her to be apart of community - all while Tad was next to us talking with her husband leading him fully to Christ and discipling him! Hearing her say that she felt that that all was a huge turning point for her family was definitely one of my major highlights. Praise the Lord!

13. Todd's testimonies; Todd was a guy who came on our trip who wasn't fully "in" whenever he first came on the trip. By the end of his trip, this guy's life was changed forever because he witnessed God working through him to truly change other people's hearts and even to fully heal a man's shoulder. Todd will truly never be the same. Praise God!

14. Having faith stirred in general through this trip

15. Overcoming spiritual attacks through Jesus and by praying in His name

16. Having the vision renewed - so ready to go back to Belton and live that same lifestyle there

17. 49 people coming to Christ in 4 days

18. The food: lots of Mexican, and Tuesday night had the best tamales I've ever had in my life (can you say "handmade masa"?)

19. Learning more about humility, and having to be humbled in a few areas over the course of the trip; not necessarily "fun", but definitely necessary and good :)

20. The weather

Got back from Edinburg, TX, tonight (Thursday night).

I'll post more on it later; but I'm telling you, this kind of stuff changes your life. "Love God, Love Each Other, Reach Out, Multiply". The most exciting lifestyle around! This stuff - Jesus and His love - is so real. And it matters.

Now, for a few days to rest. Lovely!

Tomorrow morning I leave for Edinburg bright and early! And then commences Spring Break.

Not much to say; peace to you all, and I'll be sure to post about what God does on this trip when I get back :).

If you could pray for me and my team, that would be be wonderful. Pray for unity, wisdom, divine appointments, boldness, provision, energy, SALVATION, growth, and, most of all, for the power of God and more of Jesus - for apart from Him we can do nothing!

Love you all. Have great Spring Breaks, friends!

I've been thinking a lot about what it truly means to "abide in Him", a la John 15. In my reading this morning, I read 1 John 3. Along with the very end of 1 John 2, John uses the word "abide" a lot, and I actually gained some pretty significant insight into this concept that I will attempt to share accurately! Reading this chapter was quite the adventure.


1. Backtrack into 1 John 2: I read this chapter yesterday morning, and when I stumbled across v. 28 parked there for a while to try to ascertain what it meant.

"And now, little children, abide in him, so that when he appears we may have confidence and not shrink from him in shame at his coming."

To me, it seems this verse is telling the rewards or results of abiding in Him: at his coming we will have confidence and not shrink from him.


2. To backtrack even more, that same day I read 1 John 2 I actually also read 2 Timothy 4. Paul says this in his famous farewell of sorts to Timothy:

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.

When I read that last phrase, I had to sit there and think about it for a while. What does it mean to "love His appearing"? What is His appearing? When will it happen? Is this a future event, or did it already happen? Is it figurative or literal? How do I love His appearing so I can attain the crown of righteousness Paul alludes to, assuming that is a goal?

Other places where the phrase "His appearing" is used in applicable ways:

 "For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works." Titus 2:11-14

"I charge you in the presence of God, who gives life to all things, and of Christ Jesus, ... to keep the commandment unstained and free from reproach until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ, which he will display at the proper time—he who is the blessed and only Sovereign, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone has immortality, who dwells in unapproachable light, whom no one has ever seen or can see. To him be honor and eternal dominion. Amen." 1 Timothy 6:13-16

"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." Colossians 3:1-4

"...so Christ, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time, not to deal with sin but to save those who are eagerly waiting for him." Hebrews 9:28

All of these instances allude to the second coming of Christ.


3. Now to connect 2 Timothy 4 and 1 John 2: When Christ appears again, when we meet Him face to face, if we abide in Him, we will be confident in His presence and not shrink back; in Him there is no shame! To me, this connects with the idea that we are to aim to know Him so intimately and as accurately and clearly as we can here on earth that when we meet Him face to face, we will recognize Him (which I know seems like a silly concept, but stay with me) - or, perhaps more importantly, He'll recognize us (not enough time/space to expand this idea; thoughts are derived from Matthew 7:21-23).


4. To move on now into 1 John 3: what's interesting to me is that John addresses this concept and further develops it while addressing us as His children. "Oh, what LOVE He's bestowed on us by calling us CHILDREN!" is the exclamation (in my own paraphrase) He makes right away in verse 1. The next verse, He goes on to say that when He appears, we'll become like Him. Woohoo!


5. Those who abide in Him won't keep on sinning (John's first manifestation of abiding-ness, if you will). (v. 6). We've been born again, as children of God: as such, we are also to love our brother (the second proposed manifestation in v. 10).


6. We know Love -

"By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth." 1 John 3:16-18

so we abide in Him and love our brothers sacrificially, in deed and in truth rather than in mere talk.


7. This next part is HUGE! 1 John 3:19-24 tells us how we can be sure that we KNOW Him (so as to avoid getting to Heaven and hear Him say the most dreadful words of all time: "Depart from me, I never knew you"). Our heart should not condemn us; no shame! If we have CONFIDENCE before Him, the confidence of the Spirit in us, praying His will and receiving what we ask as we keep His commandments -

"that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God,"

BUT NOT ONLY THAT!

"... and God  in him. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit whom he has given us."

The Spirit in us is evidence of Him abiding in us!

Okay, that's a LOT, and I have to go in a few minutes, but I wanted to say this:

The imagery John uses of us as children along with the idea of the appearing of Jesus Christ, as I read and prayed about it, painted a picture for me.

I am to abide in Him, that I may know Him, and He know me. When I see Him face to face, I will be confident and LOVE His appearing. That phrase Paul used and John's description of having confidence when we see Him makes me think about whenever a child sees her Daddy coming through the door. I had forgotten what that's like - I mean, I still give my daddy a hug every time I see Him, but there's something about seeing a 2-year old greet her daddy with joy and complete confidence and exuberance when He comes home from work (I've gotten to witness Lucy greeting David a few times :). I mean, Lucy doesn't just say, "Hi, Daddy". She RUNS to Him, squealing with joy and jumps into his arms, giving him kisses and embraces him! THAT's what I think of. As children, when we will finally meet the Father face to face, if we know Him we'll greet Him with confidence. All analogies fail at some point, of course, but I really like the spirit behind this one.

"Here we come running
'Cause we hear Daddy coming
Here we come running
And dancing into You..."
We Come to You by James Mark Gulley

Man, I am like high on life right now! Wooo! :)

1. Fast has been going really well! Drinking juice helps. I feel really good right now for some reason!

2. With the fast, every day I've been going over to Sarah's at lunch time and worshiping/praying with her and another girl or two from LG. That's been so good!

3. I leave for Edinburg on Saturday... aahh!

4. Breaking the fast tonight with LG at McAlister's at 5:30, then have a church prayer meeting at 7! Should be good

5. I amaze even myself sometimes: My quiz grades in British Literature have not been so hot as of late, so I've been considering doing some extra credit. On the syllabus it says that you can at any point in time recite 14 lines of literature we are reading for her and get extra credit. So, in the middle of class today, I decided to go ahead and start memorizing a 16-line poem we just read ("To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time" by Robert Herring). So, in about 20 minutes, while my professor was lecturing and such, and while looking up at her, I memorized 16 lines of poetry and then recited it to her after class. That wasn't my original intention, but as I was memorizing it, I was like, This is easy!, and just kept going with it. I would just look at two lines at a time and say them over and over and over again in my head, then of course go over the whole poem once I had all the lines down. And then I recited it word for word for her after class. Extra Credit! Woop woop!  :)


:) God is good!

As Ps. 115 says... "Not to us, but unto YOUR NAME be the glory!"

6 “Is not this the fast that I choose:
to loose the bonds of wickedness,
to undo the straps of the yoke,
to let the oppressed go free,
and to break every yoke?
7 Is it not to share your bread with the hungry
and bring the homeless poor into your house;
when you see the naked, to cover him,
and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?

8 Then shall your light break forth like the dawn,
and your healing shall spring up speedily;
your righteousness shall go before you;
the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
9 Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer;
you shall cry, and he will say, ‘Here I am.’
If you take away the yoke from your midst,
the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness,
10 if you pour yourself out for the hungry
and satisfy the desire of the afflicted,
then shall your light rise in the darkness
and your gloom be as the noonday.
11 And the Lord will guide you continually
and satisfy your desire in scorched places
and make your bones strong;
and you shall be like a watered garden,
like a spring of water,
whose waters do not fail.
12 And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt;
you shall raise up the foundations of many generations;
you shall be called the repairer of the breach,
the restorer of streets to dwell in."
Isaiah 58:6-12

I love the part about becoming a "watered garden"!

My church is doing our quarterly 72-hour fast. Though I've prepared myself in the way of doing subsequent 24-hour then 48-hour fasts in the past month or so, this is still going to be hard! Thankfully I'm doing it with juice (Apple juice, of course).

If you could be praying for me, that the Lord would guide me continually, satisfy my desire in scorched places, and make me like a watered garden like His word says! And, of course, that He would reveal more of Himself to me and give direction.

Also, prayer points for the Edinburg mission trip (we leave this Saturday!), copying from an email I received today from one of the leaders:

• JESUS - We NEED Him.  We can do nothing apart from Him.  Let us humble ourselves (especially as we fast) and cry out to Him.  We can have a "pretty good" trip in our own strength but we do not want "pretty good".  We want to see the kingdom of God on earth.  See people encounter Jesus.  We want to be a people who are in awe of God and His power.  We want to see more than we could ever ask or imagine. (Eph 3:20 is our trip verse!)
  
• Finances - We still need quite a bit of money as a team but Jesus has always been faithful to provide for us what we need.  We need to be faithful in prayer and giving.  Let's pray that Jesus would supply all we need but let's also ask Him what else we can give and what He wants us to do.
• Team Unity - Pray that there would be no divisions among us and that would would grow deeper in community and in love for one another.
• People of Edinburg - Pray that many would be ready to receive our message and that we would be able to find "people of peace" who would take this message to their family and friends.
• Each Other - Let us intercede for each other.  Pray that we all would fall more in love with Jesus and become more like Him.
• GOOD Weather - Pray that the weather would be good as much of our ministry will be outdoors.

Thanks all! Love you, miss you.

Me getting a kiss from Lucy, the best two-year-old around, as she holds the guitar I gave her for her birthday.

On spending time with Jesus (all from a book Carly lent me called Secrets of the Secret Place by Bob Sorge)

"Intimacy precedes insight. Passion precedes purpose. First comes the secret place, then comes divine guidance. God doesn't simply want to get you on the right path. He wants to enjoy you throughout the journey. ... God's primary desire for your life is not that you discover His will and walk in it; His primary desire is that you draw near to Him and come to know Him. God wants to be known! And then He desires that from that knowing relationship there come a tender walking together in His purpose."

"When we step into the presence of God, we are exposing ourselves to eternally powerful forces. Everything within us changes when we touch the radiating glory that emits from His face. ...When you're in His presence for extended periods, the molecular composition of your soul gets restructured. You start to think differently, and you don't even know why. You start to have different passions and interests, and you don't even know why. God is changing you on the inside in ways you can't cognitively analyze. All you know is, sinful affections that once pulled at your soul no longer have their former power over you. The secret is simply this: large chunks of time in God's presence- loving Him and imbibing in His word."

"'For the LORD God is a sun' (Psalm 84:11). As my Sun, the Lord is my light, my warmth, the one around whom my life revolves, and He is the one who brings forth fruit from the garden of my life. His Spirit waters my life, His word nourishes my life, and His face is the power that cases the fruit of my garden to grow. As a planet revolves around the sun, I want my life to revolve around Christ. ... I want to be close - blazing with the same holy fire that radiates from His face."

"If you will seek Him with all your heart, He will guide you to the ancient river that runs deep in the heart of God. As you chase Him with every ounce of your strength, He will bring you to the fountain of divine life. when the life of God begins to flow into your world of impossibilities, this is the stuff of miracles. The life of God cannot be stopped! If you drink of this river, everything in you and around you will begin to shake and shudder under the groundswell of God's power released. ...Learn to abide in Christ!"

On the Cross:

"The cross is the safest place on earth. It is the place where the most violent winds will whip your soul, but also where you will enjoy the greatest immunity from Satan's devices. by embracing the cross, you are dying to every mechanism in your soul that Satan can use against you. The highest pain produces the highest freedom. There is no strategy against crucified saints because they do not love their lives even unto death."
-Bob Sorge

"I take, O cross, thy shadow
For my abiding place
I ask no other sunshine than
The sunshine of His face
Content to let the world go by
To know no gain or loss
My sinful self my only shame
My glory all the cross."
-Elizabeth C. Clephane

"Here at the cross is the man who loves his enemies, the man whose righteousness is greater than that of the Pharisees, who being rich became poor, who gives his robe to those who took his cloak, who prays for those who despitefully use him. The cross is not a detour or a hurdle on the way to the kingdom, nor is it even the way to the kingdom; it is the kingdom come."
-John Howard Yoder

"Power, no matter how well-intentioned, tends to cause suffering. Love, being vulnerable, absorbs it. In a point of convergence on a hill called Calvary, God renounced the one for the sake of the other."
-Philip Yancey, The Jesus I Never Knew

On the Love of God:

"Why does God content himself with the slow, unencouraging way of making righteousness grow rather than avenging it? That's how love is. Love has its own power, the only power ultimately capable of conquering the human heart."
-Philip Yancey, The Jesus I Never Knew

On Prayer:

"I forget that my prayers matter to God. I forget that I am helping my neighbors to their eternal destinations. I forget that the choices I make today bring delight- or grief - to the Lord of the Universe. I live in a world of trees and telephones and fax machines, and the reality of this material universe tends to overwhelm my faith in a spiritual universe suffusing it all. I look into the blank blue sky and see nothing.
By ascending, Jesus took the risk of being forgotten."
-Philip Yancey, The Jesus I Never Knew

On Christ:

"If anyone proved to me that Christ was outside the truth...then I would prefer to remain with Christ than with the truth."
-Fyodor Dostoevsky

"Make no mistake: if He rose at all
it was as his body;
if the cells' dissolution did not reverse, the molecules
reknit, the amino acids rekindle,
the Church will fall."
-John Updike

"For Christ plays in ten thousand places,
Lovely in eyes, and lovely in limbs not his
To the Father through the features of men's faces."
-Gerard Manley Hopkins

"Christ bears the wounds of the church, his body, just as he bore the wounds of crucifixion. I sometimes wonder which have hurt worse."
-Philip Yancey, The Jesus I Never Knew

On Grace:

Legalism like the Pharisees' will always fail, not because it is too strict but because it is not strict enough. Thunderously, inarguably, the Sermon on the Mount proves that before God we all stand on level ground: murderers and temper-throwers, adulterers and lusters, thieves and coveters. We are all desperate, and that is in fact the only state appropriate to a human being who wants to know God. Having fallen from the absolute Ideal, we have nowhere to land bu tin the safety net of absolute grace."

On the Church:

"The church is where God lives. What Jesus brought to a few- healing, grace, the good-news message of God's love - the church can now bring to all. That was the challenge, or Great Commission, that Jesus gave just before vanishing from the numbed disciples' sight."
-Philip Yancey, The Jesus I Never Knew

"All your dissatisfaction with the Church seems to me to come from an incomplete understanding of sin. What you seem actually to demand is that the Church put the kingdom of heaven on earth right here now, that the Holy Ghost be translated at once into all flesh. ...The Church is founded on Peter who denied Christ three times and who couldn't walk on the water by himself. You are expecting his successors to walk on the water. All human nature vigorously resists grace because grace changes us and the change is painful. Priests resist it as well as others. To have the Church be what you want it to be would require the continuous miraculous meddling of God in human affairs."
-Flannery O'Connor

"The Church exists... to set up in the world a new sign which is radically dissimilar to the world's own manner and which contradicts it in a way which is full of promise."
-Karl Barth

On Kingdom Living:

"Passing laws to enforce morality serves a necessary function, to dam up evil, but it never solves human problems. If a century from now all that historians can say about evangelicals of the 1990s is that they stood for family values, then we will have failed the mission Jesus gave us to accomplish: to communicate God's reconciling love to sinners."
-Philip Yancey, The Jesus I Never Knew

"Our real challenge, the focus of our energy, should not be to Christianize the United States (always a losing battle) but rather strive to be God's kingdom in an increasingly hostile world."
-Philip Yancey, The Jesus I Never Knew

"As America slides, I will work and pray for the kingdom of God to advance. If the gates of hell cannot prevail against he church, the contemporary political scene hardly offers much threat."
-Philip Yancey, The Jesus I Never Knew

Tonight, the Johnson's (Kyle and Melissa, and their children Taylor, Nathan, and Abe) invited me over for dinner! This is the couple I babysit for occasionally on Sunday nights with the three rowdy, sweet boys all under the age of 6 :). It was SO good! The first 30 minutes or so were crazy, but Kyle was sweet enough to take care of the boys and wash them and put them to bed and such while Melissa and I had some quality time. It was so encouraging, and just awesome to get to know them more! They were missionaries in Afghanistan and other parts of Central Asia for 10 years. Talking to Melissa was just great because her and I have had similar spiritual journeys, and of course she's further ahead of me and offered some wisdom and insight :). One of my favorite things we talked about tonight was making Jesus your lifeline. Very challenging. But in this time of my life especially, I need to nail that down. If I ever get married, and my husband dies of cancer a few years later and I'm left with two kids (which just happened to her sister), I HAVE to be able to say that all I need is Jesus. If I get married, if I don't. If I live in America, if I live overseas. HE'S the One getting me through. If I put my hope and life in anything else or in anyone else's hands, it will fail. "No one whose hope is in the Lord will ever be put to shame!"

Goodnight, loves. Enjoy your Friday tomorrow!

Okay, so today at UMHB is an event I think is called "Sole to Soul", where you are supposed to not wear shoes.

Why? It wasn't really made clear. Something about people over in another country, far far away, not having shoes.

Does it matter? Of course not. But you better not wear shoes today, or else you hate people who don't have shoes, right?


Sigh.

Needless to say, I wore shoes today. I just DON'T UNDERSTAND this stuff.

Firstly, if I'm going to support something, I need to know what it is. Who are these people? Are we just giving a generic "shout out" to people who don't have shoes? Do they have a name, so I can pray for them? Or is there some kind of organization that I can give money to so they can have shoes? Is not wearing shoes for a day really that sacrificial? I think even more so would be to challenge everyone on this campus to give up their favorite pair of shoes for someone else who doesn't have any.


But I'm conflicted; my first reaction is to react like I just did, difficult and stubborn. But I do like balance. Where's the balance here?

To say that people who are wearing shoes today hate people who don't have shoes is just as bad as saying that people who aren't wearing shoes today are ignorant, conforming, and don't really genuinely care.

What's your opinion on this stuff? I'm approaching this from a state of disillusionment with "raising awareness". I feel like it's not very effective. But, it's easy. I don't want to go with easy. I want to go with challenging and sacrificial. I want to be challenged to pray every day for 30 days for a country, or to give up some of my favorite things so someone can have enough money to go overseas and reach these people. Is it too unfair for me to say that people who participate in easy "awareness-raising" activities don't actually care? I want SO badly to be able to say that, mostly because it's easy to conform to. All you have to do is not wear shoes and you are loving people!  But Love needs to cost me something. Is this not a legitimate problem with today's society, that we want the greatest benefit for the smallest cost? The smallest cost-to-benefit ratio, if you will? Isn't this completely backwards from the Kingdom Jesus proclaimed? Did He not say that to find your life, you have to lose it?

To be fair, I doubt any of this is running through anyone's mind on campus right now.

I think this is a problem of mine: I read way too much into simple ideas/actions based on problems I see with society as a whole, thus making me slightly dramatic at times.

But at the same time, I feel like at least SOME of my point is valid.

So tell me the truth - is what I'm saying true at all, or should I just give it a rest?