Wow... it's been a crazy past four days (Thursday through today)! Literally, almost no time back here in my room to just chill.

But it's so good. He's been filling me every step of the way. Got to see mom, Andrew, and Mama, celebrate Lucy's birthday, and serve other families through babysitting/helping out at birthday party/cleaning etc.. Had an especially fun night last night at the hotel they stayed in, just talking for a few hours. No activities planned, just talking. Just what I needed.

As I reflect on the weekend, I think about what a challenge I have almost sub-consciously made this semester (and a challenge I might submit to you as well): to apply Matthew 5:42 to all areas of life (not just monetary). Jesus says to "Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you." Basically, I've resolved to never say no when asked to give money, babysit, serve, or what have you, even if I don't think I have the financial resources or the time. Even if I think that it might push me over the edge. My challenge to myself has been, "Just try it - see what happens. As Malachi 3:10 says - see "if He will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need."

And you know what I've found so far? He always fills. He fills me, I empty myself. And then He fills me some more. Freely I have received, so freely I must give (Matthew 10:8).


This Love is reciting me like a backwards rhyme
  the more that you lose of yourself, the more you find
Take me out of myself and into the clothes of Royalty
Love has taken me

When I give you all that I have to give
...I still have a storehouse full

Today (well, when I say "today" I mean Thursday, Feb. 25th) was Lucy's 2nd birthday (Sarah's daughter)!!! Went over and we went to this amazing park in Temple, and then I helped clean the house for the party Sunday :). Fun stuff!

After that I went to the Smith's (my pastor's family) house to babysit their three kids (Lincoln, 8; Libby, 5ish; Oakes, 4) while Tad and Sherry went to "Sing" (this event at Baylor every year). Just got back! Whew! It was fun, and I got paid, so that was nice. But interesting! New experiences every time. Maybe more on that later :). A little sneak peak: Mountain Dew and G-Force.

One thing I was thinking about today: I don't know if this is a universal thing - like, how God ordered the world - or if it's a feeling shared by most or only some, but hanging out with children all day today further confirmed not only that I LOVE kids and want to have my own so badly one day (likely, fairly soon after I get married), but also that kids' opinion of me matters to me the most. Or, to put it a little more eloquently, when a child remembers my name, smiles and gets excited when they see me, laughs at my jokes, and engages with me, showing they truly want to and enjoy being with me, it makes me way more happy and fulfilled than when almost any other "category of person" I can think of does these things. There's something about getting the approval of a child.

I noticed this first the other day whenever Jason and Anya Elliot (friends of Mama and Papa's we met in Ukraine) came over with Mama and Papa and the Elliot's children, Lilly (2 in a half) and Nathan (6 months). Lilly of course was adorable, and I conversed with her and hung out with her for a while. After the Elliot's had to leave, Mama and Papa were talking about how Lilly could not stop talking about Bethany. I asked them if Lilly mentioned me, and Mama said no. Of course, I have no reason to believe that Lilly didn't like me or anything like that, but for some reason I could feel myself tearing up a little in sadness. I began to think, "Why in the world is this bothering me?" But really, this has been a concern of mine for the past few years, especially from whenever I began to babysit. I just get so paranoid about babysitting, hoping the kids will like me and think I'm fun or cool or whatever. To a degree, I'm like this with everyone, but for some reason with kids it's amplified.

I thought about this more today. At the park, me and Sarah switched off watching/holding Maggie and playing with Lucy. When I played with Lucy, she said things like "Come on, Molly!"  to prompt me to follow her and was smiling and laughing and wanting me to push her on the swing and hold her and just be silly with her. I could not stop smiling! I mean, she's 2-years old. Why should her approval mean anything to me? Even so, I felt like the most loved person in the world, being the center of Lucy's focus, even if for just a split second.

Even just hearing children say my name (usually, it sounds like "Maw-wy") makes my heart completely melt. I can't even imagine how much more intense this gets whenever you are the parent of the child who is focusing their attention on you! As I have thought about this further, I've considered the lengths to which this concept could contribute to another analogy to help us more understand the love of God. Of course, all human analogies to describe God fail at some point, but let's see where it goes.

The Father/Child analogy is one I resonate well with, mostly because I have a wonderful earthy father - to think that my Heavenly Father is way more perfect and wonderful than my earthly father blows my mind! But, if I may, I submit the focus of the analogy could be reversed as well. If it melts our hearts to have the approval of children here on earth, do we have the ability to melt His heart? Can we melt the heart of the Mighty One who created the heavens, the One to whom every knee will bow and by whom every soul be judged? Could we really make Him smile? Does He care about our approval? I mean, it's not like He needs us or anything. We're just humans. We have little capacity to be able to even begin to understand, well, pretty much anything in comparison to all He knows. There's no reason why anything we do should make a difference in the heavens, much less in the very heart of Yahweh.

...But we have the mind of Christ. We were made in the very image of God. His ways are not our ways; though I don't understand it, I believe that what I have submitted is true. That's the beauty of His love - it goes way deeper and farther beyond our wildest dreams! Try, if you can, to imagine the pleasure our perfect, Heavenly Father feels - how much His heart melts - when a child of His says His name, focuses all their attention on Him, smiles at Him, hangs on His every word, and shows their deep affection towards Him! If this is true of image-bearers of Christ, though imperfect, to our children, how much more true is it of the Father to us?

Doesn't that make you want to pray more? Doesn't that make you want to focus all your attention on Him, make your sole passion in life to please Him? Make Him smile? Of course, it should be said that it's not as if God is on His throne, worrying like I do if His children don't remember Him (and many do not). I'm sure the analogy only goes so far until you get to the point of how it affects Him when this does not happen, if that makes sense. Even so, 2 Chronicles 16:9 says that His eyes are roaming to and fro the earth, looking for those who are fully devoted to Him. Though some are narrow concerning Song of Solomon, saying it is only to be applied to husband and wife (though I think that that is silly, if indeed every chapter in the Bible is teachable and points us to Jesus), I believe that on another level it lets us gaze more deeply into the riches of His love. One of my favorite verses now is Song of Solomon 4:9, which says, "You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride; you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes". Doesn't that make your heart sing? One glance to heaven, and we captivate Him. That alone makes me want to be with Him all the time, and seek His presence continually (Ps 105:4), which I believe is the goal in the first place.

Again and again... His love really is deeper than we think!

This post took a turn I did not expect. But personally, for me it's a good reminder! I'm tired and still have stuff to do. So for now, goodnight!

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied."
Matthew 5:6

"I am the bread of Life; whoever comes to Me will never hunger nor thirst."
John 6:35

"My food is to do the will of Him who sent me and to accomplish His work."
John 4:34

"If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, 'Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water'."
John 7:38

"Abstain from the passions of the flesh which wage war against the soul."
1 Peter 2:11

"Put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires."
Romans 13:14

"Unless a grain of wheat falls to the earth and dies it remains alone; but if it dies it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life."
John 12:24-25

"The one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap Eternal Life."
Galatians 6:7-8

"Walk by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do."
Galatians 5:16-17


"Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to Me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food. Incline your ear, and come to Me; hear, that you may LIVE..." (Isaiah 55)

So, I woke up this morning to blankets and blankets of snow! It was pretty amazing.

And we're talking SNOW - like, when it would snow in Nebraska or when it did in Ukraine kind of snow. It's been coming down pretty hard ALL DAY! Pretty awesome :).

As much as I love snow... I'm so ready for summer. The other day it was like sunny and 80 degrees. What in the world, Tejas?! But whatever. I'm content.

A few pictures:














My car:)


Jamie and I


The Quad



Oh, AND, I didn't have class today, and no class tomorrow until 10, which means that my 8 and 9 o'clocks are canceled :). Beautiful!

Have a great day, folks!

1 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 3 Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. 4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. 5 I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. 7 If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. 9 As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. 10 If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. 11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full."

John 15:1-11

What does it mean to Abide in Him? Verse 7 is especially puzzling for me.

One way that God is revealing the meaning of this passage to me is to think of it this way: As we know Him more and "abide" in Him more, we'll know His heart more. 1 Corinthians 6:17 says that "he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him", which is pretty intense. Can we really be ONE SPIRIT with Jesus? The Bible says yes! When we get closer and closer to that place, we know what's on His heart; His desires become our desires. We pray, and He does, not because we commanded it, but because we're actually kind of just praying along with Him. That is pretty neat.

Thoughts on "abiding"?

Favorite Sights:
1. Cloudless days
2. A cleared and cleaned sink
3. Mail in my mailbox
4. Children smiling when they see me
5. The Groom as the Bride walks down the aisle

Favorite Smells:
1. Grilled fajitas
2. French Lavender
3. Old books
4. Burt's Bees chap stick
5. Coffee

Favorite Things to Touch:
1. Baby soft skin
2. Piano keys
3. Nice cameras
4. Clothes right out of the dryer
5. Fuzzy puppies

Favorite Sounds:
1. Baby laughter
2. Anything Lucy says to me
3. When Rowan (another little tyke at my church) says my name: "Mowwy!"
4. 3-part harmonies
5. Cello

Favorite Tastes:
1. Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream (forever and always)
2. Chips and salsa
3. Goldfish
4. Apple juice
5. El Gallo queso, chips, fajitas... (my mouth is watering at the thought! Weekend, come quickly...)

It's a beautiful day here in Belton, TX :). My day has been GREAT! I had to get over some slight frustration because I overslept for the third time this week, this time through EMP. I was able to get to class and such, but it's just really annoying that for some reason I haven't been able to get up. Sigh.

Nothing profound to say. Got a really good grade on my British Literature response paper, which I am pleased about! Just feelin' good.

Listened to this song this morning. Love it!

"Oh Lord, Your love
Is new with every morning
Your faithfulness, it gets me through the night
You bid me come
You know that I am weary
Your yoke is easy, and Your burden is light"

Oh Lord Your Love by Caedmon's Call

"All my springs are in You..."
Psalm 87:7

This is something I've been really learning how to do this year (and I BY NO MEANS have "arrived" - I'm still learning as always), and if you guys don't mind something I want to challenge you to do (not in a sense where I don't think you are doing it already... just as a reminder to myself and to everyone else).

Spend time with Jesus.

Yes, read your Bible. Yes, pray (lots!). But in the midst of it all, don't forget to spend time with Him. Make that your primary motivation for coming into His presence.

Man! That's convicting. Is the ONE thing that I ask of Him is to just be with Him?

Read the Bible because it teaches us more of His character. It helps us know Him better. God speaks to us through it. It's living and active. Oh, and because He tells us to :).

Pray fervently because He LOVES it when we pray. He longs for you to look His way, recognize His presence, and converse with Him. Not because He needs us or because "He's lonely", but simply because He loves us. I don't understand it, but He loves us. His love goes deeper than we think. His grace and mercy reaches farther, because He's THAT powerful. He's THAT loving and gracious, and GOOD.


You captivate Him with one glance. "I am my Beloved's, and my Beloved is mine!" (SOS 6:3). You are His. He is yours.

Pray fervently. Get to know His heart, and pray along with Jesus as He intercedes (Romans 8:34). Pray in the Holy Spirit (Jude 1:20). Pray for the purpose of knowing Him more and growing in intimacy with the Father.

Wait on the Lord. Let Him speak to you. His sheep can hear His voice (John 10:2). Ask Him if there's anything He wants to reveal to you today. Let Him tell you how much He loves you. Let Him reveal to you more of His character.

Sit at His feet. Listen to Him. According to Jesus, this is the one necessary thing.

Rise early. Give Him your best. Let Him be the first and last thing you think about. Walk with Him during the day. "Seek His presence continually" (Psalm 105:4). Talk with Him. Listen to Him. Don't lose sight of the Cross; because His blood has washed away our sins and the veil is torn, we can now have a relationship with Him. We are His children. The Church is His Bride. He loves us so much, and loves it when we empty ourselves and sacrifice just to be with Him, to know Him more. Keep Him in the center.

In all the service and activity and all those great things, don't forget to spend time with Jesus. All day, no matter what you are doing. He's there with you, waiting for you to recognize His presence and enjoy the beautiful fellowship with the One who is walking right beside you, never to leave you or forsake you. The One who loves you more than anyone else in the entire world could ever love you. His love goes deeper than we think - let that be your motivation.

Sent to me this morning by Mama. Enjoy!

Lord, help me to glorify you;
I am poor, help me to glorify you by contentment;
I am sick, help me to give you honor by patience;
I have talents, help me to extol you by spending them for you;
I have time, Lord, help me to redeem it, that I may serve you;

I have a heart to feel, Lord,
let that heart feel no love but yours,
and glow with no flame but affection for you;

I have a head to think,
Lord, help me to think of you and for you;

You have put me in this world for something, Lord,
show me what that is,
and help me to work out my life-purpose:

I cannot do much, but as the widow put in her two mites,
which were all her living,
so, Lord, I cast my time and eternity too into your treasury;

I am all yours;
take me, and enable me to glorify you now,
in all that I say, in all that I do, and with all that I have.

-Charles Spurgeon

So, I feel like I have a lot of time, but at the same time I've been feeling really busy. Further, it's been quite a struggle getting up in the morning, which I suppose is not too abnormal, but I've gotten in a groove this semester, trying to wake up earlier (usually between 6-6:30 on MWF). This Saturday I was supposed to meet Lifegroup on campus to carpool over to Waco for training at Antioch for Edinburg, but I woke up at 7:54. The plan was to wake up at like 6 so I could take a shower and what-not. I mean, I heard my alarm...and I thought that I had woken up... but it was one of those things where if you don't get up right away, you don't get up at all. Next thing I knew it was almost 2 hours later. Ridiculous! And then this morning as well, I was planning on getting up at 5 because I desperately needed to wash my hair (I need to be at church at 7:15 to help set up for band), but I ended up waking up at 6:45. Sigh.

SO, my weekend!

Man, there's been so much that I've wanted to blog on; I keep thinking of things to say. Specifically, today I really wanted to blog on the Love of Christ. I will say, though, that today has been the best Valentine's Day ever! And I do love VD :). God is just so good. I woke up to a beautiful, sunny, blue-sky morning. When I walked outside to my car, I heard birds chirping, and - though it was cold - it just all made me really happy! I felt like God was saying, "Happy Valentines Day, Molly!" :).

Real quick about my weekend, then I'm going to bed, because I'm POOPED.

Friday
1. Skipped Intro to Christian Ministry. I'm sure daddy will be less than proud to know that. And it was pretty blatant, too. I was cold, it was raining outside, I was tired, and we weren't doing anything spectacular that day.

2. Yoga was awesome; we did all these deep stretches the whole time. Amazing!

3. Met with Carly at her apartment, we talked/prayed/did discipleship-y stuff for about 2 hours. It was wonderful! And one of her roommates, Sam, was going to Taco Bell with her boyfriend, and asked if we wanted anything. I had JUST, no lie, been thinking about how much I wanted T-Bell, but didn't want to spend any money/get out and drive (though, it's not like going to Taco Bell, or anywhere for that matter, in Belton is considered a strenuous outing). Anyways, of course when she offered I jumped at the chance and handed her a $5. When she came back, she gave me back my money and said that it was on her! What a blessing! God provides - even in simple stuff like that :).

4. Went to the Library. I know, what a fun Friday night, right? But I really do love the library :). Walked around for a while, ended up checking out the movie Amadeus - one of Andrew and daddy's favorite movies.

5. Finally watched the stupid video series on Riley/Trey/Brian's facebooks. Watched them backwards, and then when I got to the first one and realized what actually happened, all the sudden thought it was all hilarious. Called Riley, he told me the story, and then him and I actually had a really good conversation. It was so good to get to talk to a friend from back home about Cypress-y things! Precisely what I needed. Helped me feel a little less homesick.

6. Popped some kettle corn and watched Amadeus (about Mozart, essentially). Of course, I ended up watching it backwards as well, because I didn't realize that the DVD was split into the two halves of the movie on each side of the disk (I mean, who does that?!). So of course I watched the B side first, and then called Andrew, saying, "So THAT'S how the movie ends?". It was utterly confusing and weird. Of course, it didn't take him long to figure out what happened. So then I watched the first half. Ah, it makes more sense now. But it's still a really weird movie. Disturbing. Well-done, but I won't watch it ever again.


Saturday
1. Woke up late (as I mentioned earlier), drove to Waco and got there right on time (needed to be there at 9). Wore my hair curly all day.

2. Training Day was really good!! I'm super excited for the trip. I'm on Kids Team with Heath, Sherry (pastor's wife), Katie/Grant, and Mel. I'll maybe post more on that later.

3. GOT TO SEE MY FAMILY IN COLLEGE STATION AT OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE!!!!! :) I cannot tell you how elated I was to be with my family! It was so pure and fun. We just sat and ate together, talking at the table for nearly 2 hours. We all got a good chance to talk (I mean, I'm sure I talked way more than everyone else. Sorry, guys), and just had a generally great time! It was weird - at one point, I kind of realized that this is how it is going to be, if not now than in a few years; we'll really have to be intentional about seeing each other. It's weird; just a different phase. But it was still really special.

4. Got to talk to Andrew a lot in the car on the way there and back. So good.

5. Got a gift card to HEB from mom, a journal from dad, and some money from Mama :). So awesome, so needed.

6. Went to HEB when I got back to Belton. Felt like a queen carrying actual groceries, and felt like I was "splurging" or "treating myself" because my basket had items such as Goldfish, cereal/milk, Apple juice, and chips and salsa. Welcome to my life.


Sunday
1. As I said again, woke up late. Wore pink :). Improvised with my hair - actually, it turned out cute. French braided it on the sides and then pinned up my curls to make it this bun-ish thing. Got compliments. Score!

2. Church went really, really well today. Message titled "Focus". The series is called "Prepare the Way for the Lord", based on Isaiah 40:3-5. Message today really, really challenging. I'm so thankful for this church that God provided me here in Belton. I'm constantly being encouraged, poured into, challenged, and influenced. One of the points under how we can get focused (specifically, focused on preparing the way for the Lord; basically, being "eternity minded", living the Kingdom on earth) was "make the most of your time". Ouch. Sounds simple, but there are always ways I can think of that I'm wasting time. "Don't waste your life!"

3. Picked up T-Bell for myself and then went home.

4. Rested and did some homework.

5. Babysat for the Johnson's while they did ATS (Antioch Training School; they are the leaders of it. If you don't know what ATS is, it would take a while to explain. But essentially it's this training school they encourage people to go through, basically to be trained to plant churches/GO). Very interesting experience because they have three boys (Taylor, 6, Nathan, 3 or 4, and Abe, not even 2 yet), and the times I've babysat this year has always been either all girls or no boys over 2. Change of pace; girls need to be entertained, boys need to be refereed. But it was fun :). I do have a few funny stories I want to blog on sometime (not enough room!); many times I had to just laugh at myself. I mean, HOW DO MOMS DO IT?! There were many moments tonight where I thought, "There has to be a better way to do this". Can't wait to be a mother and go through the journey of figuring it all out :).

6. I'm going to bed. So tired. Praying for grace in the morning to wake up at 6 and start my day off right. Love you all! Happy Valentines Day! :)

1 “Come, everyone who thirsts,
come to the waters;
and he who has no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without price.

2 Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread,
and your labor for that which does not satisfy?
Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good,
and delight yourselves in rich food.

3 Incline your ear, and come to me;
hear, that your soul may live;
and I will make with you an everlasting covenant,
my steadfast, sure love for David.

4 Behold, I made him a witness to the peoples,
a leader and commander for the peoples.

5 Behold, you shall call a nation that you do not know,
and a nation that did not know you shall run to you,
because of the Lord your God, and of the Holy One of Israel,
for he has glorified you.

6 “Seek the Lord while he may be found;
call upon him while he is near;

7 let the wicked forsake his way,
and the unrighteous man his thoughts;
let him return to the Lord, that he may have compassion on him,
and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.

8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.

9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

10 “For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven
and do not return there but water the earth,
making it bring forth and sprout,
giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,

11 so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,
and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

12 “For you shall go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and the hills before you
shall break forth into singing,
and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.

13 Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress;
instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle;
and it shall make a name for the Lord,
an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.”

Isaiah 55

I mean, I know that I don't "have" to apologize, but I've been failing at my mini-series and in blogging in general. This weekend I'll have a lot, a LOT of time.

A list...

1. I'm homesick. I never really got that homesick last semester (well, after the first month or so when I got settled in), but for some reason I have been for a week. I think it's because so much has been going on (good stuff), but I don't get to share in it with my parents and family. I mean, I talk to them on the phone and stuff, but that's completely different from them being able to witness it, and to be able to SEE them while I talk it all out with them.

2. Seeing my parents on Saturday night :). And the rest of the fam. I can't express how excited I am. We didn't think it was going to work out... but then my mom texted me this morning and said that we'll make it work. That made my day.

3. New tradition these past two weeks of going to Sarah's on Thursday afternoons to watch LOST and 19 Kids and Counting. She doesn't watch LOST, but her and David are kind enough to record them for me. I must say, it's a completely different experience watching that show with someone who doesn't know anything about it than with a group of people who are intensely into it. I kind of like it, because it helps keep it light-hearted (because it makes me realize just how absurd the show really is :). The more I try to explain to her what's happening, the more silly the show seems. But I still totally love it.

4. If you guys didn't know, I'm going on the Spring Break mission trip with my church to Edinburg/McAllen (in South Texas by the border). I'm super excited :). I'm helping lead the Children's Team!

5. Sarah said that I should blog about this so I will. I never really realized how much I used/relied on my "Top Fives" until I got to Belton and started having to get to know people. I was made especially aware of this the first or second month of college whenever Andrew and I had lunch with Sarah and Joey after church (David was home with Lucy), when Andrew came and visited church with  me. We got talking about music, movies, bands, etc., and I kept asking them what their top five whatevers were. I had all my lists memorized and was able to spout them off, because I guess I've thought about this a lot! I LOVE Top Five lists because these are questions people like to ask. AND, it's hard to think of ONE whatever that I like that accurately represents me, so it kind of saves me if you have 5 - people won't judge you based off of your one answer. If that makes sense. ANYWAYS, so they were making fun of me (well, not really "making fun" - just pointing it out and thinking it was funny) because I was so obsessed. So it's been kind of a running joke in Lifegroup all year that I have my Top Five everything. So at the Superbowl party on Sunday at the church building, at halftime we had little contests with little prizes, and one of them was whoever can name the 7 Dwarfs first. Of course, I knew all of them :), and so I started spouting them off. But for SOME reason, I could only think of Five of them at first, and stopped, having to think for another 10 seconds or so of the other two. After the fact, Katie and Grant (from my Lifegroup) told me that whenever that happened, Grant muttered to Katie, "She can only think of her Top Five...". I pretty much thought that that was hilarious :). Anyways, thought I'd share that story.

6. Read a story in British Literature from Piers Plowman, Passus 18 the other night for class. It is SO GOOD. If you have time on your hands, read it. It's all about Jesus and the Passion, and is like an allegorical thing. The language is beautiful. So good.

Oh how strong the power of Jesus' name!
It is stronger than any other name
How sweet the victory that bore my shame
took the burden of my sin away

Hallelujah! What a Savior!
I owe everything to Him
Hallelujah, what a Savior
Hallelujah to my King!

Oh how great the kindness our God has shown
We were strangers, now we're called His own
His grace has welcomed the sinner home
Tender mercies lead us to The Throne

Oh what peace the Spirit of Jesus brings
Through the trials He will carry me
One day, in Heaven, our eyes will meet
Filled with wonder, all the saints will sing

"Hallelujah To My King", by Paul Baloche

Peace.

Here in the library again! I have three papers to write this week: one for New Testament due tomorrow, as a reaction to a video we were supposed to watch called "From Jesus to Christ"; one for Yoga due Friday on a kind of yoga of my choice (I never thought I'd be writing a paper for yoga class); and one for British Literature due Friday, called a "response paper", basically on anything that I want to write about what we've read so far (I think I may write a little about Beowulf. We'll see). The British Literature one isn't technically due until next Friday, but if I turn it in this Friday I can get five points extra, which would be of extreme advantage to me considering that I (literally) failed my quiz last Friday (allow me to explain: there is an implied possibility of a quiz over the readings that we are supposed to do every time we meet. Having said that, we've only had two unannounced quizzes, after an entire month of class. I have faithfully done my reading every day and done my best to stay on top of things. Having said that, I was supposed to read the "Nun's Priest's Tale" from Canterbury Tales before last Friday. It was only 12 pages, but be not fooled: we are reading CT in Middle English, which is basically not English at all. I feel like I'm reading French. It's doable, but it takes two to three times longer to read, much less understand, one page of CT than it does to read a page of actual English in this book. Having said that, it was admittedly all my fault because I put off the reading until Thursday night; I was reading, but I was not understanding anything that I was reading. I was tired as well as utterly confused. So I weighed my options. Technically, the odds were certainly in my favor: after all these weeks of class, we've only had ONE quiz, and that was all the way back from when we read Beowulf several weeks ago. Inductive reasoning would lead me to believe that it was probably true [though not necessarily true - that would be deductive reasoning. A little added bonus from what I've learned thus far in my Philosophy class] that we would not have a quiz over this tale. So, for the very first time this year, I skipped the reading. To my credit, I was planning on waking up earlier to read it, so I wasn't abandoning the idea altogether; however, I ended up not waking up to my alarm. All the while, in the back of my mind I had this ominous feeling that today would be the day when we would have a quiz, the day I did not read. And, of course, as Murphy's Law demands, this was true. We did, indeed, have a 7-question short answer quiz over the tale. I was able to do 50/50 on a few of them, so I scraped by with a 46. I guess I should be thankful that I even got that much.

But I digress).

So, all this is to say that I am in the Library.


Update:
1. There are two extremely huge, distracting murals right above my face, containing a slew of colorful words and pictures, I'm assuming of literary nature, though it's hard to tell because there are so many of them, and they are all basically right on top of each other.

2. I've been having interesting dreams lately; the other night I dreamt that I broke my Facebook fast (which will, by the way, officially be broken tomorrow) for a few seconds and checked it. The next day I thought about it and was scared for a few moments that it had been real life and not a dream. Also, I've had two dreams in the past week or so where I have in some way healed someone, or I guess I should say in which God has healed through me. I one dream I prayed for and saw the healing of Kate Weise's hurt knee, and last night I prayed over someone who was was on the ground with a hurt back and couldn't get up. I prayed and basically just said "Get up and walk" like Jesus said, and they immediately did it. It was pretty intense. In both dreams, I felt like I was praying pretty intensely and "in the Spirit" like they say people did in the Bible, whatever that means.

3. The paper I'm writing right now for New Testament is reacting to claims in the video we watched about Jesus' apparently less-than-humble origins, John the Baptist's apocalyptic eschatology, and their interpretation of Jesus cleansing the Temple. I'm really liking writing this, actually.

"And Jesus went throughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, 'The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.'"
-Matthew 9:35-37

The more we get to know God, the more loudly we can hear His heart beat for His people, and the more burdened we will in turn be for those who do not know Christ.

I'm going to do a little mini-series called "The Harvest" about some countries we can be in prayer for, with facts on the spiritual climate in each.

France

Although it once had a strong Protestant witness in the sixteenth century, France is now known for its philosophical rejection of Biblical revelation and, as a result, is a thoroughly secularised and materialistic country.

The Roman Catholic Church, always the principal target for the anti-clericalism that characterizes French thinking, declined steeply at the end of the twentieth century, and mainline Protestantism fared little better. But this is not to say that religion in France is dying. Islam is making an impact.  It is estimated that there are as many as 4 million Muslims, largely made up those of North African descent and the cults and sects are flourishing. The occult is big business, with large numbers of mediums, witches and spiritists, as well as every variety of cult, on the scene. This "supermarket" approach to religion (take a little of what you like) makes it difficult for the Gospel, which is regarded as just another religious product that you can buy into if you want to or it is regarded with overt hostility because it claims to be the only way to God.

Problems with many of these cults has led to legislation that has tried to limit the influence they have on people. The French Government hopes to restrict the activity of those that exploit or manipulate people. The legislation has laudable aims, but the wording is vague and there are dangers that other groups (such as evangelicals) that the secular mindset does not understand will find themselves in the firing line, too.

Spiritual work in France is, hardly surprisingly, very slow and there has been no real breakthrough. It would be fair to say that France is the largest western nation that has not felt the power of the gospel. You might even say it is the largest "unreached" western nation, since there are large tracts of land and many cities with no evangelical witness. The spiritual ground is hard and unyielding and will only respond to patient evangelism and prayer.

France is possibly the key to reaching Western Europe. French thinking has played a vital role in world history: John Calvin shaped the Europe of the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries through the Reformation; René Descartes started a philosophical train of thought at the end of the seventeenth century that spawned what we know as the Enlightenment, which has shaped the way Western Europe thinks to this day; and Post-Modernity, that is defining the way 21st Century people think, grew out of Enlightenment thought and has its origins in French philosophical writings of the past forty years. If we can reach France with the Gospel, we will reach the world.

And the good news is that the French are very interested in the spiritual realm
and are seeking for spiritual meaning. And God has not abandoned France. The
fact is that in the last 35 years, over a 1,000 new churches have been planted,
adding to a total of roughly 2,400, mainly in the big cities. It has been a
tough but rewarding work. The challenge is great, since most rural areas are
still unreached. It is not unusual to have to drive an hour to find the nearest
Evangelical church. But as said: if we can reach France with the Gospel, we will
reach the world!"

(Information from www.ecmi.org)

 

I have to go to New Testament in a few minutes, but before I left I wanted to post this while I have time.

Lifegroup last night was SO good!

1. I led worship; played O Taste and See, Happy Day, How Deep the Father's Love for Us, and Revelation Song (how's that for irony? But it was definitely in A and not in D). I think it went well. My pride is being "knocked down", that's for sure! I've come a long way since sophomore year, that's for sure. Learning how to not be selfish and just be open to doing whatever they need me to do. It's not about me in the first place. So what if I'm uncomfortable? I mean, I realized that I would have to be okay with it if after last night they were like, "So, that was good, but I think that we're just going to go back to doing iPod", and then have to deal with the awkwardness of the next Lifegroup when it's back to normal. But thankfully that is not the case :). Oh, and I really loved it.

2. Sarah and David recorded LOST for me. This has nothing to do with Lifegroup; just another great thing about them :). I'm going to watch it today (hopefully).

3. Last night was focused on us all sharing about what God did in our hearts at World Mandate, and just discussing the weekend in general. Towards the end, I said something about Saturday night that I felt really weird about sharing after the fact - after I said it, I was like, "I'm a loser, why did I just say that?". But right after, we broke up into groups of 2 to pray for each other. Immediately, one girl in our group turned right to me and started crying, saying that what I had just said resonated with her so much and that it's something that she's been dealing with all week, and especially that day (it has to do a lot with insecurity, lies, spiritual attacks, etc.). I've never felt that strongly that I've wanted to take someone else's burden before! But I got to pray for her for a long time, and I felt His presence more than I have in a long time as I did. It was just such a momentous moment, being able to pray for this girl, that God would set her free in a very significant way, and feeling God moving as I was praying. It was so powerful. At the post-meeting, Joey and Sarah said that they felt like everyone was bored, but I was like, "you guys have NO idea what happened after!!". Seriously, though. It made it all worth it! It was one of those moments that made me so glad to be an intern, and one of those moments that made me think, "THIS is what I want to do for the rest of my life". The Lord is so good.

Bye guys!

Hey, guys :). I know last post was a tad ambiguous. But here is a few encouraging words to leave you with before I go to bed:

1. Talked with daddy on the phone last night for about an hour... it was wonderful.

2. God really did reveal a lot of things in my heart this weekend; when I say that I was humbled, I truly mean it, and for several reasons.

3. God is good. He will never, ever, ever leave me or give up on me. He'll never walk away or let go. Period. It's against His character. His goodness and faithfulness is NOT dependent on what I do.

4. Today I went over to Sarah's for about 2 hours and we had a really good talk, time of processing the weekend and confessing things to one another and praying. It was really, really sweet.

5. So, uh, I'm leading worship at Lifegroup tomorrow? I guess some of you might not know that I play the guitar. Well, "play" is a relative term. But I actually play it a lot on my own, but never usually in front of people. Before now, we've been using an iPod. But apparently the goal is to have someone lead. Sarah knew that I had a guitar and asked if I could come and play for her, David, and Joey during the planning meeting. Did that tonight, and I guess it went well! I'm actually really excited. I will never get over the joy I feel whenever I'm playing music - no matter the instrument or style. I am able to focus so much more and connect with Him most deeply whenever I'm playing. In any case... when it comes to my guitar playing, I am not going to be falsely humble and say that I'm terrible - I'm definitely adequate. The only trouble I run into is the fact that my hands are small and not quite strong enough to hit certain chords just right. In any case, pray for me if you think about it :). I'll let you know how it goes.

Love you guys.

"Let everything be lost in the shadow
Of the Light of Your face
Let every chain be broken from me
As I'm bound in Your grace
For Your yoke is easy, Your burden is light
You're full of wisdom, power and mihgt
And every eye will see You"

-Captivate Us, Watermark