My life as of late has been characterized by these things, to name a few:

1. "Last ____"s
2. Work
3. Piano until my arms and hands hurt
4. Fruitless shopping endeavors (have I ever posted about how much I hate shopping?)
5. Pictures
6. Too many events to juggle (in a good way, I suppose. It just means decisions have to be made)
7. No more school
8. Things to remember
9. Excitement about graduation party on Saturday
10. Room is still very, very messy
11. Reflection on the year
12. Walking around in CVS for half an hour to calm myself down (I bought a nail polish. 50% off!)
13. Encouragement
14. BFND

Okay, so I haven't posted in a week? I am so sorry. I could give an excuse and say that I'm really busy, but in reality I'm not too busy to post every once in a while, especially since I check up on my bloogroll every day, scoffing at those who still haven't posted! Oh, the irony.

In any case, I was about to go to sleep, and then started feeling like I should probably post. And then I remembered that I don't have school tomorrow, so I can post! And then I got on Facebook and stalked for a while, then finally got around to posting. And now I've found I really have nothing to say...

I'm formulating my thoughts for the 7 things mentioned in the last post. Posts soon...I promise!

As a mental reminder, I'm going to post on how my week will look:
Monday - Nothing, besides piano lessons; but I have a lot of stuff to get done in preparation for GRAD PARTY on Saturday!!
Tuesday - School (ha!), work, Awards Ceremony
Wednesday - School - LAST FULL DAY!!, Work, eat with Mama and Beth
Thursday - School until like 12, then chill until the ABS Pool Party!!
Friday - Relax and prepare for Grad Party, then Work
Saturday - GRAD PARTY, finally! : ) It's going to be awesome. If you haven't RSVP'd, by the way, please do so soon!

I can almost TASTE Summer, now...

Quick! I need to leave in 5 minutes for Katie Stockwell's, but before I do I want to jot down a few phrases/ideas about growing in my personal faith that have been on my mind lately/I have learned more about that I want to post on at some point...

1. Starve the flesh, feed the spirit
2. Be intentional about my relationships
3. "Repent of judging by a law that even I can't keep" (Derek Webb)
4. Love others more than I want them to like me
5. Memorize scripture
6. Rid myself of vanities in disguise
7. Don't trust in man or value human opinion more than I place my identity and importance in Christ

I'll stop there. So many thoughts swimming in my head... More posts to come! :)

I'm really bad at "series", so I apologize. I remembered the other day that I have one I'm supposed to be continuing. And there's also a post in response to the post a few days ago that I promised. Of these things I am aware...

For today, I'll just do a list of some Wonderful Things in my life right now! : )

1. Summertime's a-comin'...
2. Cheesy family moments like the one at Hannah's grad party yesterday..."I love my family!"
3. Graduation in 20 days
4. Blessed with the privilege of playing the bass (and on rare occasions, like today, the keyboard) at church
5. Being surrounded on Sundays by people with such great talent using their gifts for the Lord
6. Graduation announcements/Senior piano recital invitations are finally going out tomorrow
7. Not being worried about what the future holds (in fact, I'm probably worrying a bit too little...I still have no idea whatsoever what I'm studying in college, and right now I almost don't even care. Any suggestions?)
8. Sunday afternoons (great time for naps...:)
9. Andrew is home
10. Mama and papa still here
11. I hear the Rockets are going far in the playoffs?
12. Finding out more and more each day that I think about marriage/FH way more than most of my friends, because I basically think about it all the time; I'm under the assumption that everyone else does as well, but this, "apparently", is not true ; ) (oh, man! I still have to post that LP story...)
13. Seeing Mary Haddad at Del Puebs today
14. Getting lost with my family in the car on the way to the lakehouse yesterday, laughing the whole time and just hanging out, using the extra time to just be with eachother and talk/reminisce
15. College kids are finally starting to come home

So, today was a pretty embarrassing day for me! I feel even nervous now as I think about it, haa : ). I hate when that happens to me - you know that knotty feeling you get in your stomach? Gross. In any case, it was all in PALs, involving two awkward situations (at least in my mind), one having to do with all the attention being on me for a few moments (two words: Love Shack), another with me stumbling over words while trying to verbally affirm (as we all had to do) someone I have a hard time speaking to without blushing or getting nervous, if you know what I mean! But it's all good in the hood. There are some pretty golden people I've been able to get to know in my PALs class this year...

I will post more in-depth on my last post and responses to comments hopefully later - right now I want to wind down and hopefully go to sleep soon. I will say though that the other day during English I went on to Biblegateway.com and basically read through all of John, looking specifically for times when Jesus interacted with lost people (Maybe "lost" people is not the right term...but I think you guys know what I mean - people who were judged by society as sinners/outcasts. But I also looked at when he talked with the Pharisees, because they had problems of their own as well. Let's just say I looked for when he interacted with people). Here are a few of my observations (at the top of my head, of course, and without recent intense study...don't quote me! If I got the wrong impression from the Scripture, then I apologize. Please correct any misconceptions I have. But these are my reactions):
-He definitely legitly interacted/hung out with them, and was almost even drawn to them
-He always told them the truth, not worrying about offending anyone (in love, of course)
-He was not as Ghandi-like as people portray him at times
-He was more controversial and divisive
-He left the judging up to the Father (of course, He is the Father...but that's an entirely different discussion)
-He prayed that we might go into the world as He did, as Christ and light for the world, the eve of His crucifixion in Gethsemane ("They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world." - John 17:16-18)
-He told His followers the world will hate them


Okay, that's all for now. I'll sit on it for a little while, still appreciating any more guidance and scripture reference from you guys. All I know is that something needs to change; this has been something that has been brought to my attention a LOT lately, through people, His Word, circumstances, etc.

I have to get ready to school and leave within the next 10 minutes (oops!), but before I go, I want to ask a quick question that I need guidance on...

How do you find the balance between Christian fellowship and hanging out with the sinners like Jesus did? That's the only way that I know how to pose the question. I'm asking this because a few nights ago I got in a discussion with some Christian friends about this. I can sometimes get too caught up in my Christian bubble/circle of friends too much, as I've realized this past year. And I know that I can be judgmental. This stuff I know that I need to work on/change, and this year I believe that I've gotten better about talking to lost people at my school about Jesus. But where in the scripture does it say that I have to hang out with people with corrupted behavior? I'm not asking that rhetorically, I'm honestly asking it. I mean, I know that the first answer that would come to mind is that Jesus hung out with the prostitutes and tax collectors, but to what extent? Is it a sin for me to say that talking with them is fine, but when they start hanging out and doing the things they do to peace out and not be shy about telling them that I don't tolerate it? We are supposed to be salt and light, but does being salt and light necessarily mean that I have to be with them all the time and be around what they are around? I mean, I can't speak for my church leaders, but I'm pretty sure that if they saw pictures of me on facebook at a party where people are drinking and doing bad things, even if I went saying that I was going to be a light at the party and wasn't going to do anything bad, I'm pretty sure they'd want to have a talk with me.

Where is the line drawn? How can we be salt and light without being corrupted ourselves? What does the Bible say about this?

Have a good day!

Since list posts are really floating my boat, here's a few random thoughts before I get the week started...

1. I would give, like, 100$ to whoever can tell me what any of the Fray songs mean. I'm pretty sure it's impossible. I mean, I've only heard like 4 of their songs, but ever since I heard "Cable Car" ("Everyone knows I'm in over my head, over my head / With eight seconds left in overtime / She's on your mind, she's on your mind" - what in the world?!), I've been a little confused. I mean, I always feel like sometimes the individual verses and certain lines make sense, but then the chorus comes, and they are using a different pronoun or conveying a totally different idea, and the song as a whole all the sudden doesn't make any sense. Then there's the new song, which almost just sounds like they strung a bunch of words together that sound cool ("I found God on the corner of 1st and Amistad" - someone tell me how this relates to the song! Oh, a side note - on the way to work in Mrs. Tammy's neighborhood I drive on a street named Amistad, and one time I was flipping through the radio stations and caught this song, and ended up turning on that street right as he sang that line. Now THAT'S cool! ha). I don't know if the songs are just "over my head", or if I simply just don't understand the complex mind of the lead singer of the Fray, but this is all just the impression I get. I try to stay away from artists whose songs make no sense. It doesn't communicate anything to me; it just makes me feel confused. Does anyone else feel the same way?

2. I love my mother!

3. Still freaking out about all the piano recitals I have to be prepared for...(this Friday, and then of course June 7th).

4. I'm excited for the LOST finale.

5. I have a Phil Collins song stuck in my head. Well, technically it's from his years with the band Genesis. It's called "That's All". It's really catchy, as most of his songs are! Phil Collins music just amuses me. Gotta love it.

6. I'm amazed at how much Blakey is growing up...his handwriting is really maturing! I know that that's a random thing to notice, but today I did during church as he was taking notes (cute!:). Well done. Oh, and his "Habitat for 'Blake-man'-ity" turned out well. And yes, he still gets offended when we call it that: "I hate when you guys do that!" "You mean when we insert your name into famous International Organizations?" "...Yes!" :)

7. I took a really nice 4 hour nap today.

8. I'm really stinkin' excited about the Grad party May 30th!

9. This week is going to be a bit busy...

10. 3 weeks of school left. 'Nuff said.

What my week has consisted of:

1. Tie-dye
2. Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream bars, courtesy of Blue Bell
3. Calculus AP test (medium to difficult)
4. English AP test (easy to medium)
5. Doing something besides Calculus in Calculus for the first time all year (watching a movie called "Stand and Deliver". It's apparently like "Freedom Writers", but more math-y.)
6. Shooting pictures with Chino of an awesome Hispanic wedding at Adrian's church (we were there from 2:30 to 6:30 - they basically celebrated and sang songs the entire time after the actual ceremony! It was beautiful. I didn't understand anything, but it was tight!)
7. Getting excited for VBS because this year it's all about Paul and the Underground Church
8. A freak-out
9. Not having enough time to practice piano as much as I'd like to
10. Another freak out happening right now because of #9
11. Not having been in Economics in a week (as of Friday) due to an unfortunate oversleeping incident/AP tests/TAKS etc.
12. Lost Party with Jules, Jenna, Lauren, and Mary. Amazing
13. Finding out that I have a special power/gift at said party (I might post on it later, it's a pretty funny story)
14. Some disappointments/discouragements
15. Some encouragements through interesting circumstances
16. ABS at the Swan Sr. house two doors down
16. Sonic with friends
17. An episode of Gilmore Girls; well, actually 20 minutes of an episode today, and then I had to get ready for the wedding. In any case it was the first time in like a month. Sad story
18. Buying AAA batteries for my camera when I meant to buy AA and feeling really silly
19. Finding my old phone that I thought I lost, in my purse, and feeling really silly
20. Almost getting in an awkward conversation because of #19
21. Finished my Paris journal, moving onto another one
22. Prayers answered
23. French lady emailed me
24. Good talks with mom and dad
25. Realizing Mother's Day is tomorrow, just the other day. It always sneaks up on me

Wow...what a week.

I'll post more later, but for now I have to get ready for school. I just wanted to send a nod to those who have been oh-so-eagerly awaiting a new post ;). Just kidding.

Last night was awesome, today is going to be great. Work, then another LOST PARTY at Julie's house! And this time I'm pretty sure it's going to involve tie-dye. And of course there will be lots of Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream.

About AP tests - Calculus one was pretty difficult, obviously...best case scenario, I got a 4. I mean, maybe I did well enough to get a 5, but at this point it's really hard to tell. It really just depends on how everyone else in the country did :). It was a stinkin' hard test! But I felt prepared for a lot of it, and did the best that I could...so we'll see. As for the English test, it's in the bag. It was pretty easy. I think I got a 5, best case scenario. I'd be very happy with a 4, but I feel confident. But we'll see!

So, I went to Target in hopes of being able to use my 10$ gift card to get some stuff I need so I don't have to spend money on them. I was looking for two simple things: my favorite Pentel R.S.V.P. pens and Papermate Sharpwriter pencils that look like real pencils but have a spinny top that dispenses lead. Get this - Target didn't have EITHER! They had this HUGE selection of pens/pencils, but they didn't have the kind I needed. So, of course, I ended up spending my gift card on Sense and Sensibility (5 bucks!), my favorite Post-its (they are so pretty!), an address book, and a pretty little journal (I had to pay 8 bucks out of pocket for all this...oops!:). So I guess that was good. But then I went to CVS, because they ALWAYS have my pens (I get new ones every two months or so - I use them good!), but CVS stopped carrying them apparently!! I checked and everything - the lady called the back, and it was confirmed. Sad, sad day. Thankfully they had my pencils. In any case, I had to settle with "EasyTouch" Pilot Ball Point Pens (with caps, of course. I hate clicky pens.), which, I guess, will do :).

The lady at CVS said that Office Depot still carries them, so there's an idea for birthday/graduation presents! Easy. DD. Buy Molly a box of Pentel R.S.V.P. pens. She'll love you forever. And some pretty stationery...I'm out : (. I love writing notes/letters!

Calculus AP test tomorrow...Eeek! I think I'll do good. I feel pretty prepared.

The only thing that is pretty miffing about this is that I have to be at school at 7:25. What is this? hahaa. Monday I didn't have to go to school till 11, and today I overslept and missed 2nd period. And I don't have to get to school till 8:20ish in the first place. So tomorrow morning is going to be "fun"...

(Of course, not necessarily in a particular order...you know me!)

Artists
1. Bethany Dillon
2. Sandra McCracken
3. Derek Webb
4. Phil Wickham
5. Jon Foreman

Albums
1. Waking Up - Bethany Dillon
2. Cannons - Phil Wickham
3. The Builder and the Architect - Sandra McCracken
4. She Must and Shall Go Free - Derek Webb
5. Spring/Summer/Winter/Fall - Jon Foreman

Blessings
1. Wonderful parents, grandparents, and siblings
2. Being a part of the band
3. My awesome job
4. Being a part of such an amazing church for such a long time
5. Seeing God work in my life as well as the lives of people around me

Stresses/Worries
1. Calculus AP test Wednesday
2. Senior Recital June 7
3. Regular Recital May 15
4. Money
5. My hair (Okay, this one is kind of a joke. But it is still a slight insecurity - I know it's dumb!)

Words
1. Grace
2. Mollify
3. Awk
4. Foshal (An inside joke... it is "For sure" + "Legitimate"... I don't even know. Julie, Sarah and I really like shortening/combining words.)
5. Love

Acronyms
1. DD (Done Deal)
2. BD (Big Deal; another variation is "NBD", or "No Big Deal")
3. GD (Good Deal)
4. G2G (Good to go)
5. LSL (Love Shack Loiter)

Food
1. Anything Mexican (right now I'm really into Tamales)
2. The toasted turkey, mayonnaise, and cheese sandwiches Mama makes for me
3. Strawberries, yogurt, and Grape Nuts; again, another concoction Mama introduced
4. Cereal (Trix, of course, is my current fave)
5. Goldfish (all day, every day)

Topics of Discussion I Keep Hearing But Know Nothing About
1. Swine Flu
2. Obama/the government taking over all the businesses
3. Prom (ha!)
4. Whether or not Cy-Creek will have to make up their 4 days they missed last week and how unfair it would be if they didn't have to
5. "Three-Oh-Three"? I think it's spelled 3OH3!, and that it's a band. Whatever it is, I keep hearing about it. Another brilliant, cool, independent band name

Topics of Discussion I'm Interested In
1. Summer
2. Graduation
3. AP test preparation
4. Planning the graduation party
5. Jesus

Colors
1. Blue (like the sky)
2. Green (GO GREEN)
3. Ging (I know it's not a technical color, but I love gingers)
4. Cran-peach (it's a peach/coral hue with a slight cranberry tint...hard to describe, but it's beautiful!)
5. Ivory

Things In Nature
1. Sun
2. Birds
3. Mountains
4. Really soft grass
5. Old, tall trees

Things To Do
1. Study for Calculus (I'm making lots of progress)
2. Sleep and dream
3. Play piano until my arms and hands and fingers ache
4. Sit in silence in my room, writing down thoughts and prayers
5. Talk with my family

Enjoyments
1. The subtle transition to Summertime
2. Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream
3. Hugging my little brother (it won't be long 'till he'll be too cool for me!)
4. Saying things like "Habitat for Blake-manity" in reference to his big Habitat project, which apparently really offends him
5. Getting calls from friends who are far away (Amanda Atkinson!)

Movies
1. A Walk to Remember
2. Pride & Prejudice
3. LOTR Trilogy
4. That Thing You Do!
5. La Vita E Bella

Inanimate Objects I've Named
1. Dilbert (my car)
2. Marshall (my laptop)
3. Piece of junk (my phone)
4. My Best Friend (Calculus Free Response AP Packet)
5. Carvin (Trey's guitar...I technically didn't name it, and it's not original, but it's fun to say in a British accent. And I can't think of any more objects of significance which I've named)

Things About Tomorrow
1. TAKS, which means I don't have to be at school 'till about 11
2. I plan on practicing piano a lot in the morning
3. Fun "Graduation Bunch" pictures
4. Invitation making/addressing party at Katie's
5. More time for studying/getting prepared

Things God's Been Teaching Me
1. How to deal with stress
2. What it means to follow Him
3. No guilt in life, no fear in death
4. The fleeting qualities of this earth, and of man
5. How to talk to my friends about Jesus/the importance of doing so

Songs
1. Grace Upon Grace - Sandra McCracken
2. Love Isn't Made - Jonathan Foreman
3. Beggar's Heart - Bethany Dillon
4. In Christ Alone
5. Nobody Loves Me - Derek Webb

Songs the Band Does
1. Vision of You
2. Thy Mercy
3. In Christ Alone
4. Love Found Me
5. Hosanna

Last Thoughts
1. I made a lot more lists than I originally planned
2. I should probably go to sleep
3. I'm blessed
4. I'm ready for summertime
5. I should do this more often, it's probably more interesting than my incoherant ramblings

I just watched the ending of Uptown Girls (I started it last night). That movie makes me cry at the ending every single time I watch it. I love it. :)

Project Prom is over. I'm not going to lie, I was disappointed in the experience, though I'm not really sure why. I didn't really do anything, to be honest. I probably could have made it a more fun/memorable experience for myself, but ya know. C'est la vie!

Today, I need to study for Calculus AP test. Hopefully I'll wake up/gain some motivation within the next few hours...

Lately I've been in a really "introspective" mood and have come to some realizations about myself (or just things that have been confirmed once more) that I'm going to compile (no matter how silly or serious they may be). Enjoy!

1. I don't like following rules as much as other people, or even I, think. Of course, I follow rules that I must follow, and enjoy doing so, but I'm more talking about things that we have free reign in. For instance, while for some reason I've considered myself in the past someone who thrives on having directions/rules to follow and such, I've realized lately that this isn't necessarily true by noticing the way that I handle things like instruction manuals. When anything comes in a package, or comes with directions on how to use a product or whatever, I always pretty much throw the instruction manual away. I want to figure it out myself. It's almost stubborn. Instruction manuals are always just so annoying/frustrating to me because they seem so unnecessary and like a waste of time. The time that I could spend reading how to do something could be spent by me actually doing it myself. I learn so much better when I just DO.

2. I am, and have been in the past, a lot more judgmental than I've liked to believe.

3. Things that I read/watch/listen to really do affect me, no matter how much I've thought that I'm "immune" to them because I'm a Christian or whatever.

4. I think people think of me as a really emotional person (for whatever reason), but I can only think of a few people outside my family who have actually seen me cry, and only two instances when a tiny handful people saw/heard me cry, both of which I did my best to hide the fact that I was crying, and one of which I didn't know that I wasn't alone at first. I mean, I know of several people who I consider to be less emotional than me who I've seen cry but they have not seen me cry. And I even like crying! I don't know exactly what that means or what "realization" I'm trying to make, but even if it's just that I don't like crying in front of people but I'm still equally as emotional, this is something that, when thought about, surprises me, I suppose. And of course, I know that crying or not crying does not make someone emotional or not emotional. But you know what I mean. I hope these sentences make sense... :)

5. I don't like really tiny cereal, i.e. Rice Krispies, Fruity Pebbles, and the like.

6. I think I'll be ready to go to college when the time comes. That doesn't mean that it will be hard (extremely hard...), but it will be "time".

7. Yup...I still really love Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream. : )

8. A Walk to Remember will always be my favorite movie. I watched it the other night with Bethie, and the whole time, I was just thinking about how no matter the criticisms, I will always think that it is a good movie and and see that it portrays very valuable themes and is infinitely a much more honorable and clean chick-flick than all the other junk they have these days. I choose AWTR over The Notebook any day. It's very redemptive, and it touches me in so many ways. It's portrayal of love and faith is so pure. And Danielle, it does NOT preach Missionary Dating! The other night while watching it I came to the conclusion that Landon was changed before he went to Jamie's father to ask him if he can take her out. And it's not like Jamie was all for it at the beginning. She guarded herself and pushed him away, but at the same time there was a point where she came to forgive him and when God gave her a genuine love for him through the whole experience. Remember - he was her angel! ;) In any case, I love it, and I think that everyone should see it. : )

9. I like having a beat in my head, whether by simply counting or thinking about the steady beat of a fan or a click somewhere, or by walking steadily and singing a song in my head to go along with it. It steadies my thoughts.

10. I love people.

11. I sometimes do not act like I love certain people. Love bears all things, hopes all things, believes all things, and endures all things. By the way I judge, compare, get irritable, and assume the worst of people at times I realize that I do not show that I love people as much as I think I do. While my spirit is often willing, my flesh is also often very weak.

12. I want to grow up to be like Mama. She's always laughing and having a good time, and taking care of other people. She's serving and selfless, and one of the most fun people I know. She also has an intense desire to read and study God's Word, and does not put value in the things of the world. She is a bold follower of Christ. I see bits of myself in her personality at times even now, by her fast-paced nature and love of people and talking and joking, and really hope that I grow up to be as strong and selfless of a person as she is.

13. I'm really going to miss being apart of the Band next year. I intensely hope that God will provide an opportunity for me to lead worship in some way during my college years. It's something I enjoy and love, and can't imagine not doing.

14. There is a cute baseball player that goes to Cy-Fair. I only say this because I've given everyone a pretty bad impression of them on my blog in the past : ). Today though, I saw one in the hall that I hadn't seen before that was actually pretty attractive. So, I'm going to in my mind imagine that he's some great, godly, honorable guy who would NOT dip and chew and spit right behind me in the stands duing the senior panoramic picture (that is a story for another blog...), and that he is not arrogant, and changes inside his car rather than outside of it out of courtesy. With that said, I don't want to know or see any more about him for fear of this image of him sullying ; ).

15. For some reason I always have crushes on guys who already have girlfriends. Well, I say "guys" as if I've had crushes on like a thousand guys at Cy-Fair, when really the list ends at 2. I write this here because the only people who read my blog are people who already have heard me talk about this : ). The first one being a popular but good guy I had a crush on all through Jr. High, but of course, I'm pretty sure he always has a girlfriend. And then there's this guy in one of my classes (I would say which but it would be extremely obvious, and I just want to guard myself just in case:). This one only kind of really embodies everything I imagine my FH to be (TDH -tall dark and handsome -, godly, and all!) But of course he has a girlfriend of like a year and a half. I'm sure they'll get married and have a WONDERFUL life together. Grrr. : ) haha! (You guys know that I'm just kidding. Well, I guess I'm not kidding that much, but I exaggerate for effect. These are simple crushes-from-afar and not intense obsessions. 'Cause that would be creepy...;)

Alright, that's all for now. Going to Project Prom tonight, and am excited that all the prom talk at school will exponentially decline come Monday...