So, I have a confession to make.

I am terrible with money. I don't keep track of what I spend, besides what I see online at Wells Fargo, I don't give myself any budgetary boundaries (unless you call transferring a bunch of money into savings, only to either have money taken away for Overdraft Protection, or simply to transfer it back into Checking later, "saving"), and I don't really think before I buy. I want someone else to just take care of my money for me. I can't do it! Today, I looked in my checking account, and I had about 75$ less than I expected. First of all, 10$ was taken because I assumed that I had enough in my checking account before I spent 5 bucks at Taco Bell, and Overdraft Protection kicked in, because I clearly did not. What really hurts is the fact that I have a card, so I can buy things online. It's hard not to when it's so easy! I mean, I'm not poor by any means - I have a pretty well-paying job for someone my age, and make more than enough to fill up gas each week and put a good amount into savings and tithe and have money for T-Bell and such. I'm blessed, and there should be no reason why I don't have 4 times the amount in my account right now, frankly, because of how much I make each week. It's embarrassing that I can't save and that I have this problem!

So I guess this is less of a confession and more of a cry for help. How can I discipline myself and start actually making money rather than just spending it each week? Is there a way that I can help or even "punish" myself for my non-thriftiness as of late?

Enough of that money-talk. It's depressing me. : )

What else...Oh, Band tonight was really cool! I always enjoy it, but tonight seemed especially fun. I really love talking and playing music with those guys!

And, I WON (that's what's coolest about this for me! It was like, a competition. I wanted it, and I got it! :) the El Paso Corporation Scholarship, which is like $2000 a year! Yay :). It may not seem like that big of a deal, and maybe it isn't, but I'm very proud of myself! I had to like apply and write an essay and such. I was chosen to apply for this because of my PSAT score. It's like an alternate way to get National Merit money, through corporations and such. In any case, I'm very glad! And mom and dad should be, too - that brings tuition down even more, to like, $7000 a year or something! Sweetness.

I'm still a little overwhelmed by everything, but God is in control.

Something I read from Isaiah 39 this morning struck me as odd, but cool, and I'm going to share it. I've been reading through Isaiah for a time, and I must say that sometimes it's really hard to understand. I mean, I'm usually able to comprehend books and passages of the Bible pretty well, but sometimes in Isaiah I read stuff, and I'm like, what? But, the Lord works/speaks in mysterious ways! : ) Haha. He's taught me a lot about what following Him demands and the frailty of humankind through this book. But to Isaiah 39...

¹ At that time Merodach-baladan the son of Baladan, king of Babylon, sent envoys with letters and a present to Hezekiah, for he heard that he had been sick and had recovered. ²And Hezekiah welcomed them gladly. And he showed them his treasure house, the silver, the gold, the spices, the precious oil, his whole armory, all that was found in his storehouses. There was nothing in his house or in all his realm that Hezekiah did not show them. ³Then Isaiah the prophet came to King Hezekiah, and said to him, "What did these men say? And from where did they come to you?" Hezekiah said, "They have come to me from a far country, from Babylon." ⁴He said, "What have they seen in your house?" Hezekiah answered, "They have seen all that is in my house. There is nothing in my storehouses that I did not show them."

 ⁵Then Isaiah said to Hezekiah, "Hear the word of the LORD of hosts: ⁶ Behold, the days are coming, when all that is in your house, and that which your fathers have stored up till this day, shall be carried to Babylon. Nothing shall be left, says the LORD. ⁷ And some of your own sons, who will come from you, whom you will father, shall be taken away, and they shall be eunuchs in the palace of the king of Babylon." ⁸Then said Hezekiah to Isaiah, "The word of the LORD that you have spoken is good." For he thought, "There will be peace and security in my days."

 

I don't know if I understood this right (though of course it may just be self-explanitory and I'm over-thinking it - I wish Beth was right by me to tell me how she doesn't understand why this is confusing like that one time at ABS ; ) jk! Love you Bethie:), but it seems to me that God is telling Hezekiah, this king who had just been called out by God and then turned to repent and such, that basically everything he has is going to be gone in the near future, even his sons. And Hezekiah says nothing more but that what God spoke was good, and that he will be at peace and secure.

My prayer is that I can have peace and trust in God like that, treasuring nothing but Him, especially in these crazy next two or so weeks.

Due to flooding and such, school was closed today! It was awesome. I got a text message at like 6:30 saying that, and then tried going back to sleep, but couldn't. So I just stayed up and took a shower and hung out and stuff, and then actually took a nap from like 8:30-12. It was AWESOME! Then I finished my Calculus project (yay!) and went to work from 2-6. After that Beth, Mama, and I went to Mac Grill! It was yummy. I love hanging out with Mama and Beth! : )

Tonight I'm just going to relax. Me and Bethie are going to watch a movie before we go to sleep : ) Sometimes it's nice to just treat yourself to something fun and mindless, especially when I've been so BUSY! I don't remember the last time I watched a movie, or even TV for that matter. I'm excited!

School, and reality, tomorrow. But it's TAKS week, which means I get to go to school late Thursday and Friday! I love being a Senior.

...Then again, I also have a lot to (worry about? think about? prepare for? ...be at peace about? :). Calculus AP test is a week from tomorrow, and the English AP test is a week from Thursday. But right now, I can say that it is well with my soul!

A random set of verses I memorized the other day...
"Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."
-Romans 12:9-10, 21

Thank You, Lord Jesus...

Here's a song by Sandra McCracken that has really blessed me lately, and sums up perfectly what I was saying in my last post!

In every station new trial and troubles
Call for more grace than I can afford

Where can I go, but to my dear Savior
For mercy that pours from boundless stores.

Grace upon Grace, every sin repaired;
Every void restored, you will find Him there.

In every turning He will prepare you
With Grace upon Grace.

He made a way for the fallen to rise;
Perfect in glory and sacrifice

In sweet communion my need He supplies

He saves and keeps and guards my life.

To Thee I run now, with great expectation
To honor you with trust like a child

My hopes and desires seek a new destination 

And all that You ask, Your grace will provide...

Just went on a daddy date to J-in-the-B! It was, in my opinion, one of my all-time fave daddy dates. Thank you, dad : ) I love you so much, and am SO glad that you are my father!

I feel so refreshed right now. So ready. So thankful! So willing to receive God's grace and move forward, allowing Him to grow me more and more as His faithful servant...

Is there any easy way to upload a simple 6-minute video and post it? I tried posting it simply onto Facebook, but after like 30 minutes it still hadn't even uploaded any of it because it was taking so long. So then I opted for You-Tube (oh, the horrors!), and even had to make an account (gag!), but after over an hour, it looks like it's only uploaded 20%! People upload videos to You-Tube all the time, a lot of them 5 minutes and up. Does it take this long for everyone, or am I doing something wrong? Is there a way better than this to post a video? All I want is for everyone to see this video from the Phil Wickham concert! It's so awesome. It's him playing "Beautiful" then a verse of "It is Well With My Soul", then talking and telling about this really cool dream he had. It's amazing, and you can hear everyone singing, and I was really close to the stage so it's a good view! I want everyone to see it! Why does technology have to make everything so difficult?


In other news, this weekend was fun! I like Andrew's friends a lot (we met Toni, Kenny, Abigail, and Brittany. They were awesome!), and Phil Wickham was, of course, amazing. Overall, a fun Friday and Saturday! And I feel better than ever right now : ) I got a lot of rest, thankfully. Ready to attack this next week, which is, by the way, TAKS Week! Thank goodness.

This sounds really weird, but I'm praising God right now for getting me sick! Yesterday was awful physically for me because the whole day my head felt like it was going to explode. By the end of the day I had acquired a fever and a need to just rest. I could tell that my body was telling me to slow down, because I haven't gotten that much good sleep or just rest in general this week. It's been GO GO GO GO! for quite some time now. So this morning, I woke up and felt terrible again, so I just went back to sleep until 9:30. I went to school today for an hour to take my Calculus test, but that's it. This has been exactly the kind of rest I've needed! I still don't really feel "up to snuff", but right now I'm just glad that I got this opportunity to rest.

Though, right now I'm hoping that I feel better by tonight, because we are going to Waco to see Andrew! Woohoo! And then I get to go to a Phil Wickham concert at Common Grounds : ) I'm really excited to meet Andrew's friends and get away and see PW. It's going to be a great weekend!

Catch you guys on the flip side.

So, I was going to post today during English, because we weren't doing anything, but for some reason the internet was blocking like every site! It usually doesn't block mine. So I was a little miffed. It wouldn't even let me go to a lot of sites with "district-related activity" as they put it. I ended up reading the Cy-Creek online newsletter. Haha. Don't ask why.

In any case, just wanted to update real quick! Posting will be scarce these next few weeks because I'm so stinking busy! Every single day I'm either at school, at work, practicing piano until my arms hurt, doing church stuff (which is mos' def not a complaint of mine - going to ABS and band practice is definitely my fave things to do in the week; they help rather than stress! Just to clarify:), working on Calculus, or sleeping. I'm trying my best not to complain, because this is the plate I've been given right now, and there are just a lot of things to do at this specific point in my life, and complaining about it won't help. I'm just relieving stress I suppose by writing this : ). It's just different for me because I'm used to having time to watch a Gilmore Girls episode with my mom and sister, take a nap, hang out more with my family, or just chill in my room. Well, I suppose that was more last year than this year. This year has been busier in general since I've been employed, but especially now. And for the next two weeks or so it really won't stop. There are so many things that I have to remember, I'm now carrying around a memo pad in my purse so I can jot things down real quick for me to remember later! I'm always multitasking like nobody's business, and sometimes feel on the verge of bursting. But thanks be to God! I think that I'm handling it pretty well. I have a peace right now. Well, total fear and worry comes in short bursts every once in a while, of course, but I'm learning how to just breathe in and out, say a prayer, and just get it done. I'm also struggling with comparing myself to people. I mean, it's always been a thing for me mentally, especially when walking down the halls for some reason. I have really random and irrational insecurities, and whenever I walk down the halls by myself sometimes all I can think is, "Her hair is so perfect, I wish I had hair like that" and the like. I do that in other ways besides just with physical stuff, also spiritual stuff. It's terrible, but I do it on both ends - compare myself to others as being "superior" or "inferior" to them in certain aspects. It's plaguing sometimes because a) it's sinful and selfish, b) it causes unnecessary anxiety, and c) it's silly and irrational. But I guess that doesn't stop me most of the time! :P So I've tried this new thing where if I catch myself comparing myself to someone in any way, I stop the thought process and begin to pray for them. It sounds really weird, but I had the idea the other night. Of course, it's hard to remember to do that, but whenever I do remember it helps. Anything to take the attention off myself. I also read on a blog yesterday something that has been sticking with me throughout today, written by someone who has the same kind of "people-pleaser" mentality as me; something about how much more pleasing to God it would be to just love people more than I want for them to like me. That hits me pretty deep!

Okay, enough ranting/stream-of-consciousness-ing/confessing; I have things to do! No, seriously. It's 11:00, and I still need to ice a cake and some cupcakes, write some letters, make sure I have that one song down for band, plan my tomorrow, try not to go crazy... : )

Today, rain is my friend. It has been the ultimate rainy day. I curled up with MCC, family, and two inspirational sports movies, and then took the best four-hour nap I've ever taken. Glorious!

Now I'm going to work on Calculus for a good amount of time, hoping to be productive. Wish me luck!

And tomorrow is the picnic! I am stoked. : )

Last night I had the very worst dream that I've ever had, and I've been in a slight funk today because of it. Basically I was told that whenever I went to sleep I would die because I had some kind of terminal illness that couldn't be cured. And I tried to be at peace about it; I felt almost as if God was calling me home, and I wanted so badly to say that it was all well with my soul because I would be able to finally see my Jesus in heaven, but all I could do was selfishly think about all I have yet to do in my lifetime - get married, have kids, go to college, etc. I couldn't let go of everything. And I knew that I was dying. It was so real to me. I woke up abruptly in a panic and just cried for like ten minutes to my parents.

The rest of today has been strange because I feel like we talked about death in each of my classes - reading poems about death in English, talking about death in French for some strange reason, etc. So, I just need peace and prayer.

Today was one of those days; the kind when I realize that I have a lot to do and prepare for!

Making lists helps me. Let me get it out of my system, if I may...

-Calculus. The AP test is in less than a month, and I still have quite a bit of homework/AP problems to catch up on/figure out. I also have a Calculus project due the last day in April which will actually help me review, but it's a lot to do and I need to make sure to not procrastinate. In general, I need to make sure that I'm going to not fail this thing. Well, I know I'm not going to fail. I make A's on all the tests, but just because I can do it from a unit-to-unit basis doesn't mean that I'll remember it all come May. But if I just light a fire and go at it, I'll be fine!

-Piano. Festival this Saturday where I am going to be judged by Mrs. Kristi, Mr. Shawn, and Mrs. Amy Sheehan. Eek! I've done this thing several times before, some ending up better than others. I have my song pretty much memorized and such; there's just this one stinkin' trill section that bites me in the face each time I try to play it. Then I have the Recital May 15, and then my Senior Recital June 7.  It's just getting difficult - this is the very "dry" season for all my songs for me - I can play through all of them pretty well, though not up to performance speed yet, except there are some rough patches and parts that never seem to get better. I practice each day I can until my back hurts and my hands hurt from stretching them and jumping them around and such, but I feel like I'm still not improving. I just have to get over this hump, and then everything just clicks. It's a glorious feeling when that happens - I just have to push through until then!

-English. I feel like I have to do something to prepare for the AP test, since my teacher isn't really much help. Maybe I should read another book off the AP list? Or figure out a way to write about poetry? I'll see what I can do.

-Economics. So, I'm taking the AP test? That class is pretty easy for me (and ironically so as I am terrible with money!), but, then again, I have a coach for a teacher. It's always hard to tell whether or not the class really is at AP level or if I'm going to arrive to take the test and not even comprehend what the questions are asking. We'll see.

-I need to make sure my Senior Recital/Graduation Party events are getting planned...I'm taking my Senior Pictures (well, Zach is) hopefully on Thursday, and mom finally ordered the Balfour stuff, so hopefully the invites and such will come in soon.

I've really been trying to be at peace about all of this. It's just difficult because between school (which right now is really hard to endure, I'm not going to lie), 11 hours of work a week, and church stuff it's hard to find time to really devote to these other responsibilities. But I'll get it done. I always do. And then come June 6, I'll feel extremely accomplished and like I've really put everything I am into High School! Woohoo!

 "You keep him in perfect peace
   whose mind is stayed on you,
   because he trusts in you."
Isaiah 26:3

I bought this CD off of iTunes a few days ago, and I just want to take time to post on how awesome I think it is!

Sandra McCracken is Derek Webb's wife of 8 years; Derek Webb is of Caedmon's Call, if you didn't know. While I had heard Sandra's voice on Derek's CDs many times before, I first saw her name on NoiseTrade only a few months ago. Even then, I didn't make the connection between her and Derek until a month or so after when I read about their new Ampersand EP that came out. In any case, I had an iTunes gift card the other day and was looking for what to buy with it, and decided to check out Miss Sandra for some reason. And I am so glad that I did!

I definitely recommend this CD - especially if you enjoy mellow acoustic music, and DOUBLE especially if you enjoy hymns. Most of the songs on here are hymns, if I'm not mistaken, and if they are not, they sound like them anyway. And her voice is beautiful, of course! She reminds me of Patty Griffin.

Anyways, here are the songs on this CD:

1. Thy Mercy - of course, the beloved hymn brought to life! This is her own arrangement of the song - it's less "aggressive" (for lack of a better word - she obviously does not have the same gutteral attacking skills DW has!) than the Caedmon's Call version, and a little more drawn out. I like it a lot - it kind of gives room for the lyrics to "breathe".

2. Grace Upon Grace - this is a hymn-sounding song she wrote that is based off of a prayer she found in a Puritan Prayer book (The Valley of Vision) called "Grace Active". Very good lyrics.

3. The Love of Christ is Rich and Free - another older hymn she arranged the music for - I love the lyrics, and the music is beautiful! All around awesome.

4. In the Secret of His Presence - this one is the only one on here she didn't write the music to - it's based off of the arrangement by Chris Miner in his CD "All Good Things Come From the Desert" (don't worry, I've never heard of him either). I like what she said about this song on her website: "I think sometimes we think church music should be sunny or majestic, but for me, that’s not where I live most of the time.  I live more in longing and hope, in both joy and sorrow.  I want to make music that people can find themselves in, not as they think they should be."

5. I Boast No More - another hold hymn, revived with a bluegrass-y feel, with Buddy Miller singing along! Of course if you are a Caedmon's Call fan you've probably heard this one before. I like this one a lot.

6. Jesus the Lord My Savior Is - I LOVE this song! This is I think the very first song that I heard of hers, gotten off of Noise Trade. So beautiful.

7. Abiding City - this is a very good one, inspired by a Thomas Kelly text. She tweaked it and added more stuff in from Hebrews 12. I like it a lot.

8. Sovereign Grace O'er Sin Abounding - this one has such powerful lyrics.

9. Awake My Soul - I first heard this song on Derek Webb's CD, She Must and Shall Go Free; little did I know that it was written by his wife! Apparently this was one of her first attempts to write both words and music of a hymn-y sounding song. I'd say it was a job well accomplished!

10. Rock of Ages (When the Day Seems Long) - another one she wrote. Beautiful melody, beautiful words.


So I guess this is the end of my post. I'm not going to say that you have to get it or that it's a must-have for everyone, but I guess you could just consider this a simple public display of my enjoyment of this CD! The writing of the songs was more or less just for me, to organize my thoughts on each of them. In any case, do what you want. I love Sandra McCracken.

P.S., if you want to listen to snippets of each of the songs and read a tidbit about each of them that Sandra wrote, go here.

I know I've posted this song, like, a thousand times, but once again, here it is. The words never cease to resonate with me!

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
‘Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt of life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand

On Christ the Solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand

"In Christ Alone"

 ⁵⁰I tell you this, brothers: flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. ⁵¹Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, ⁵²in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. ⁵³For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. ⁵⁴When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written:

    "Death is swallowed up in victory." ⁵⁵ "O death, where is your victory?
   O death, where is your sting?"

 ⁵⁶The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. ⁵⁷But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

 ⁵⁸ Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.

1 Corinthians 15:50-58

I'm going to let the words of Truth take this one this time - I'm ill-equipped to say anything terribly profound on this blog Easter day (not like I ever do anyway :P hahaaa). This morning I'm just rejoicing and letting the Word saturate my heart and wash over me; I've learned so much since this time last year - I can only pray that today I won't miss anything else He wants to teach me.

Besides that, all I have to say is, Hallelujah! He is Risen, He is Risen indeed.

At ABS on Wednesday, we talked about the days leading up to Easter/Resurrection Sunday - Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday. We all then wondered why Saturday was nameless. It's kind of a "dead" day, in many ways. I wonder what happened that day. I'd like to imagine that things were really dramatic as if the whole world was holding it's breath. The Bible doesn't really talk about the second day that Jesus was in the tomb, if I am correct - only about the burial and then resurrection of Christ.

All of this is to preface this post. Today as I reflected on Jesus in the tomb, I thought about what I would be doing that Saturday if I was one of the ones who knew and loved Jesus. I mean, did they just sit around hopelessly all day? Did they go about their normal things? I'm sure the Disciples didn't even know what to do with themselves. But who knows. All I know is what I'm sure my reaction would have been. Contrary to popular belief ;), I could not easily be categorized as a "calm cool and collected" person. My natural reaction to most things is to "freak out", which, by the way, does absolutely nothing to solve anything. In any case, I was just thinking about how the Disciples were surprised that Jesus came back to life and mourned His death so intensely. It's only natural for me to think - uh, hello! Jesus told you several times that this was going to happen! Plus, it's Jesus. Come on! Example - the whole, "A little while, and you will see me no longer; and again a little while, and you will see me", passage in John 16. I just love the way the disciples reacted - I would have done the SAME thing! ("What does he mean by 'a little while'? We do not know what he is talking about..." John 16:18). Can't you just see my reaction to that? "Wait, what? I don't understand...", deer-in-the-headlights look and all! I would have been a mess.

Today I reminded that I am guilty of the exact things and more. God has told me so many truths in His Word, yet I live in "freak-out mode" and anxiety so much of the time. By all accounts it makes no sense. God tells me that He'll provide and that He has the best plan for my life, yet I still worry. He tells me that He's conquered death and sin, yet I still live like I'm defeated by that very problem of worry some of the time.

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world!"
John 16:33

I believe in You and Your Truth. Lord, help my unbelief.

A Good Friday indeed it has been! Mama and Papa are finally back home.

The Good Friday service tonight was pretty spectacular. And I got the opportunity to go with my family to the church earlier today to reflect with the assistance of some pretty amazing artwork set up. It was wonderful!

Today, I am reminded of Christ's death on the cross. These past few days I've thought about what happened on the Cross, the wonder of it what it means for me, and the Power in the Blood. And today I'm reminded of what His blood demands. His holiness and His sacrifice demands my repentance, and my confession of my brokenness and rebellion against God. Every day I rebel against Him, whether by something I say, think, or do. I have no other choice whenever I reflect on His holiness but to see my depravity.

Here's an excerpt from a song I enjoy by Derek Webb...

I repent of parading my liberty
I repent of paying for what I get for free,
And for the way I believe that I am living right
By trading sins for others that are easier to hide;
I am wrong, and of these things I repent.

I repent of judging by a law that even I can't keep;
Of wearing righteousness like a disguise
To see through the planks in my own eyes.

I repent of trading truth for false unity,
I repent of confusing peace and idolatry
By caring more of what they think than what I know of what we need;
By domesticating You until You look just like me.
I am wrong, and of these things I repent.

"I Repent" by Derek Webb

Lord, I repent of throwing Your grace around. I repent of doing things not to glorify You but to satisfy a selfish desire within me to feel good about myself. I repent of feeding the flesh and not the spirit. I repent of forgetting about Your grace and getting caught up in my performance rather than on simply pleasing You and rejoicing in the fact that I have an Advocate in Heaven, a strong and perfect plea. I repent of when I worry and fear when I should be trusting in Your provision and control over my life, and Your victory over death. I am wrong and of these things I repent. Break my heart for what breaks Yours, and change me like only You can.


Have a great Good Friday. May the Cross bring us to our knees.

I'm really tired because I just came home from Scream (which by the way was AMAZING!), so I don't really have time/energy to post something long. But I have been thinking about this hymn a lot today, and I think that it's pretty self-explanatory!

Would you be free from the burden of
sin?
There's pow'r in the blood, pow'r in the
blood;
Would you o'er evil a victory win?
There's wonderful pow'r in the blood.

There is pow'r, pow'r,
Wonder-working pow'r
In the blood of the Lamb;
There is pow'r, pow'r,
Wonder-working pow'r
In the precious blood of the Lamb.

Would you be free from your passion
and pride?
There's pow'r in the blood, pow'r in the
blood;
Come for a cleansing to Calvary's tide;
There's wonderful pow'r in the blood.

Would you be whiter, much whiter than
snow?
There's pow'r in the blood, pow'r in the
blood;
Sin stains are lost in it's life giving flow;
There's wonderful pow'r in the blood.

Would you do service for Jesus your
King?
There's pow'r in the blood, pow'r in the
blood;
Would you live daily His praises to sing?
There's wonderful pow'r in the blood.

"Power in the Blood" by Lewis E. Jones

O precious sight, my Savior stands,
Dying for me with outstretched hands;
O precious sight, I love to gaze,
Remembering salvation's day,
Remembering salvation's day.

Though my eyes linger on this scene
May passing time and years not steal
The power with which it impacts me,
The freshness of it's mystery,
The freshness of it's mystery.

May I never lose the wonder,
The wonder of the Cross!
May I see it like the first time
Standing as a sinner lost,
Undone by mercy and left speechless,
Watching wide-eyed at the cost;
May I never lose the wonder,
The wonder of the Cross!

Behold the God - Man crucified,
The perfect sinless sacrifice;
As blood ran down those nails and wood,
History was split in two,
Yes, History was split in two.

Behold the empty wooden tree,
His body gone, alive and free;
We sing with everlasting joy,
For sin and death have been destroyed,
Yes sin and death have been destroyed!

Wonder of the Cross by Vicky Beeching

I just love thinking about how momentous it all is, "it" being the whole package; the prophecies in Isaiah, the prophecy fulfilled in Jesus' life and his crucifixion, the power of the Blood, the Resurrection, and everything else along with it. Throughout my day I was considering on what specifically to post on today. I really couldn't decide on anything - there's so much! But it's okay. ABS was so awesome and got me just so excited. When we read some of like 1 Corinthians 15 and some passages about Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter Sunday it was as if I was reading them for the first time! I just got thinking about it all more and more and was again taken back by it all. I love it when that happens; the Bible truly is living and active.

God, may I never lose the wonder and let the message of the Gospel just be words and routine. Each day captivate my heart and let me reflect on the price Your Son paid with awe and wonder each day as if it was the first time.

¹ Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. ²Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. ³More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, ⁴and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, ⁵and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

 ⁶For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— ⁸but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. ⁹Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. ¹⁰For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. ¹¹More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

Romans 5:1-11

Let us Rejoice!

As Easter comes up, I will (or at least want to) post a new reflection each night, containing a verse/passage, song, picture, thought, or whatever else I'm inspired by at the moment.

 ⁴Surely he has borne our griefs
   and carried our sorrows;
yet we esteemed him stricken,
    smitten by God, and afflicted.
⁵ But he was wounded for our transgressions;
   he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,
    and with his stripes we are healed.
⁶ All we like sheep have gone astray;
   we have turned—every one—to his own way;
 and the LORD has laid on him
   the iniquity of us all.

 ⁷He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,
    yet he opened not his mouth;
 like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,
   and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent,
   so he opened not his mouth.
⁸By oppression and judgment he was taken away;
   and as for his generation, who considered
that he was cut off out of the land of the living,
   stricken for the transgression of my people?
⁹And they made his grave with the wicked
    and with a rich man in his death,
although he had done no violence,
   and there was no deceit in his mouth.

 ¹⁰Yet it was the will of the LORD to crush him;
   he has put him to grief;
 when his soul makes an offering for guilt,
   he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days;
 the will of the LORD shall prosper in his hand. ¹¹Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied;by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant,
   make many to be accounted righteous,
    and he shall bear their iniquities.
¹² Therefore I will divide him a portion with the many,
   and he shall divide the spoil with the strong,
because he poured out his soul to death
   and was numbered with the transgressors;
 yet he bore the sin of many,
   and makes intercession for the transgressors.

Isaiah 53:4-12

The Cross, as I was reminded this weekend at the Youth Ministry Conference through David Platt the speaker, does not just represent the physical pain Jesus went through for us. The real pain - what Jesus really saved us from - was God's wrath and perfect justice for our unrighteousness. On the Cross all of our sins and impurities and wickedness bore on Jesus Christ; this is what made the Heavenly Father look away. This is why Jesus cried, "Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?" - "My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?".

I was thinking about this tonight as I got the chance to help Erin Nally out with an art project for Mr. Sandell in preparation for Maunday Thursday. Basically, I helped paper-mâché a huge cross and the figure of Jesus Christ. We used newspaper to do this, and dipped it in this huge vat of glue and water and glued on an assortment of ads, headlines, and pictures. In my mind for some reason I was drawn to this fact that we were placing all of this onto Jesus's body. It was great imagery and caused me to reflect on all that really was placed on Jesus on the cross. Vanity, greed, pride. Unrighteous anger, lust, worldly passions. Depression, worry, fear. All the faithlessness and evil in the world, on Jesus that day. I couldn't help but imagine myself placing all of my sins like newspaper on Jesus as he died on the Cross. 

Lord, thank You for bearing my sin - not in part, but the whole. Thank You for taking my place in bearing God's wrath for my unrighteousness. May I not forget that my sin has been nailed to the cross and that I bear it no more; it has no power over me, and I am not a slave to it anymore. May I never forget what the Cross represents.

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea.
A great High Priest whose Name is Love
Who ever lives and pleads for me.
My name is graven on His hands,
My name is written on His heart.
I know that while in heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart.

When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of my guilt within,
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end of all my sin.
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free.
For God the just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me.

"Before the Throne of God Above"

"My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
   is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!"

I spent yesterday and today with 15 or so students from our student ministry along with Darren, Jeremy, and James in Ft. Worth at the Youth Ministry Conference! It was amazing. I'll post more on it later...

I mainly wanted to post this to say that I've lost my cell-phone. I guess it's about time, after all the times that I've almost lost it because I'm too flippant about my possessions. This time, though, there really was no reason why I should have lost it because I had it in my purse the whole time (from what I can remember). I didn't even really use it; it was off for most of the time. But I have a strange peace about it. It'll be okay.

I have a lot of things to do this week and things to get accomplished...but I can do it! I just gotta push through till Good Friday...Mama and Papa are coming home! : )