Project due Tuesday - not this Tuesday, but the next: Decorate a ceiling tile (which I'm really excited about), share a song that is "meaningful/motivational" to me and then connect it to an event in my life/give a reason why, which is stressful.

I think I have the song, though...

Lead of Love by Caedmon's Call
Looking back at the road so far,
The journey's left its share of scars
Mostly from leaving the narrow and straight.

Looking back it is clear to me
That a man is more than the sum of his deeds.
And how You've made good of this mess I've made
Is a profound mystery.

Looking back, You know You had to bring me through.
All that I was so afraid of,
Though I questioned the sky, now I see why-
Had to walk the rocks to see the mountain view,
Looking back I see the lead of Love.

Looking back I can finally see, (I'd rather have wisdom)
How failures bring humility. (than be)
Brings me to my knees, (a comfortable fool)
Helps me see my need for Thee.

As you can see, this song is good in general, describing what the Christian walk is like a lot of the times.

I'll post why I would use this song and how I will connect it to my life after I get a more clear idea how I will do that.

As we all remember, last year was "Year of the Family". And it ended up being just that, but not in the way we expected.

I've decided that I'm not going to put a label on this year. We talked about maybe naming it "Year of Change" or "Year of the Roller coaster" or "Year Molly Officially Loses It", but any of those titles would make this year a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So, I am going to wait 'til this time in 2009 to officially name this year.

Just thought I'd let you know.

In other news, I am going to start that series I talked about - "What I've Learned in High School" - and will continue it throughout my Senior year. I gotta tell you, I am so excited about it! I have had the perfect first entry planned since Sophomore year.

School is going pretty well so far. Had like 5 minutes of homework today. Being a Senior is so tough ; ). PALs is interesting, the people in there are really nice and I've made a few friends, one who stands out especially because she also plays in the youth band at her church, so we had a lot to talk about. She seems tight. I am officially "Majestic Molly" ("Musical" and "Marvelous" - and "Magnetic", oddly enough - were already taken, and those are pretty much the only ones that are usable). I'm really looking forward to see how the class dynamics are.

In other news, I found out in Government class today that teenagers are okay with just seeing the world go up in immoral flame. Hey, I've got an idea, let's legalize EVERYTHING - abortion, gay marriage, marijuana - and while we are at it, we might as well lower the drinking age and legalize Polygamy (seriously, someone said that)! So depressing. Just watched most of the Obama speech. Looking forward to an interesting debate of sorts tomorrow...

Each year the "first days" have gotten better and better - mostly because my attitude towards school has improved each year as well. Freshman year first day was TERRIBLE - it started and ended with a good, long cry. Sophomore year first day was okay, but discouraging because I didn't really know many people in my classes. Junior year first day was pretty good, but my attitude toward school was cruddy and I was not ready to start the year.

As for my LAST first day of high school (yay!), I have a lot to say...

1. Whoever invented Late Arrival absolutely ROCKS. I don't have to be at school until 8:15 (first class is 8:21. I timed it - it takes 4 minutes to walk from car to school) and my assigned parking spot, 348, isn't all too bad. Not to mention, it's DIRECTLY across from Bree's parking spot!! There is, of course, a fence in between, but that just makes afternoons more fun as one of us will have to hop the fence each day : ).

2. I'm actually kind of excited about Government class, especially since this is election season. I'll grow to be a little more informed and less apathetic about politics. My teacher, Mr. Devries, seems AWESOME. He's totally passionate about Government and really wants us to learn about how the system works and understand everything about the philosophy of politics. I always love it when teachers really want their students to learn and be as passionate about the subject as they are. I like him already! The class itself doesn't seem too hard. Just some reading, basically.

3. First PALs class today. Eek! I'm extremely thankful, though, because I found two girls in there that I kind of knew that aren't as intense as everyone else (there's three other girls in the class that are especially outgoing and intimidating - two cheerleaders and a Brigader, of course. They are extremely nice, of course, but loud and a little hard to approach), so I sat with them on a couch and talked to them for a while. A good start to the class - everyone seems really nice. I'm eager to see how we all interact. Mr. Kobal basically just talked the whole time about the class, and I'm down with the way things are so far. I tried my best to be especially non-judgmental today, because I find that usually on my first day I am more judgmental and closed-off from people. In PALs Mr. Kobal reminded us that we need to look beyond - something I will strive to do this year, as well as love and respect everyone no matter what kind of person I think they are, because I am usually wrong.

4. I have Mrs. Kessler for English IV AP, the same teacher that Andrew had last year. Not much to report on the actual class, besides the fact that I'm pretty sure half of the senior class is in it (exaggeration, but there are at least 30 people, which is a lot compared to the sizes of my classes last year). I'm still trying to decide whether or not telling Mrs. Kessler that I'm related to Andrew would be a wise choice. I think I will tell her, and then remind her that she should not hold that against me ; )

5. I'm really glad that I have Mrs. Baldwin for Calculus AP-BC - I've heard many great things about her. I'm interested to see how I do in this class - I soared through Pre-Calculus, so hopefully that means that I'll do well in here. Sounds like there will be a lot of homework. I have several friends in this class, though it's simply a matter of probability because, again, it's a HUGE class.

6. Usually the Lunch experience, especially on the first day, stresses and freaks me out - I don't remember much about Freshman year lunch, but I'm pretty sure there's a reason for that. Sophomore year lunch was pretty okay, but I only really had Bree. Junior year I pretty much almost started crying because there were SO many people in there and I didn't see anyone I knew for like 5 minutes. While lunch is usually my favorite part of the day, last year for a while I actually dreaded it because I was sitting by people that I didn't really know, and felt uncomfortable around. It definitely got better as the year went on, but still. With all that said, today's lunch experience was AWESOME! I have C lunch, which is my only complaint because it's at like 12:10, but I am sitting directly by Bree, Hudson, and Matt, who are all great friends of mine, and then also by Nikki, who I've known for a long time and really enjoy seeing, and Claudia, who I don't know as well anymore, but we go way back and she's nice. In any case, Bree is the best lunch partner that I can think of to have - we always have so much fun talking about school and ranting and planning and everything else. PLUS, we have a very desired spot in the cafeteria, as we are optimum distance from the Snack Cart and are at the end of the table, which is not only right by the trashcan, but that also means that we don't have to worry about the awkwardness of sitting by another group of people you don't know. It was a very formulated and thought-out decision : ).

7. I was really happy to see Mrs. Wadenpfuhl (my French teacher), and am excited about French III. There are probably twice as many people in the class as I had last year, but they seem like they care more about French and are definitely not as loud as the people in it last year, so this class won't be as obnoxious. In fact, there happened to be a guy sitting next to me who knows me because he goes to 249 and has seen me play in the band! He doesn't really know anyone because he transferred from Cy-Woods, so hopefully I'll be able to make him feel welcome. His name is Corey, I think. I'm just happy because I thought that there were no guys that go to our church from Cy-Fair! I'm just glad that I have a fellow 249-er at my school besides Taylor and my sister. This DEFINITELY must change.

8. Early Release was BEAUTIFUL! Me and Bree agreed that it kind of felt like we were skipping class. It was a very freeing experience : ). I leave at 1:34. Ahhh. The day went by pretty fast. Afterwards, we went to McDonalds to celebrate surviving our first day!

9. All in all, I'm pretty optimistic about the year thus far. It will definitely be interesting, and will be a huge relief because, from what I can tell, it will be MUCH easier than last year. I'm excited to have more time in the morning and after school, as well as a car to transport myself to and fro. Senior year will be epic! : ) It will still take me a while to get back into school mode, because today I kind of felt like I was just coming to school for a day and will get on with summer the days following. It's surreal that the actual school year is starting. But, Summer, you can't stay forever. I'll see you in 9 months. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder..."

10. Homecoming is September 26, which, in case you didn't notice, is a MONTH from TOMORROW. But this stress and spiel is one for a whole 'nother post...

The last day of summer.

The day before the first day of school.

Hey, but on the bright side - tomorrow is my LAST first day of school! :)

Allow me to reminisce for a while...

MAY
A few days after school ended, I went on an adventure at the Park on Cypresswood...

Me, Melanie, Ally, and Zach. A few others were there, too.



JUNE
Summer party at Ally's House...


Watched Jessie Cooke dance...


Andrew's graduation...


I dressed up like Belle for Ryan's 16th Birthday Party (Disney themed)...


Mom and dad's Renewal...


Attended HS Camp, Bare Bones, and helped lead worship as well. I was on Fuzzy Wuzzy, REC CHAMPS, and received the spirit award!


Oh, and I won a volleyball tournament there, too : ) Three Men and a Little Lady!

James, James, me and Jeremy.

11/12th grade Girls day downtown...

Marie, Lauren, Danielle,Vanessa, and I

SEVENTEENTH BIRTHDAY - Driveway decorated by Kyle and Jonathon, Birthday pancakes at IHOP with some of band (Trey, who payed for my breakfast - Woohoo!, Will, and Katie), Pappasitos, Made an epic cake for my birthday party : )

The 16 balloon being released... : )

Amazing strawberry pancakes with cream cheese on top + whipped cream!!!



Joyeux Anniversaire, Molly! :)

Lead Worship at VBS, Outrigger Island! For some reason I didn't take any pictures. Weird.

JULY
Fourth of July at the Lakehouse! Made cute Fourth of July cupcakes, too : )




Me and Katie decorated Trey's part of the stage for his 16th birthday, and I made cupcakes...no pictures because my camera was broken at this point : (

Played at Rush of Fools Concert - stayed at church for pretty much 14 hours straight, ate Pei-Wei with Rush of Fools, played a 5-song set for a bunch of people!

Me and KT beforehand!

Us, minus Trey, 3 minutes before we went on stage!

Us + some of Rush of Fools at the end : )

Lead Worship at Kidz Camp...

Zach, Taylor, Ryan, Me, Riley, Nathan, Calvin, AJ

AUGUST
Lead Worship at Jr. High Camp...

I was a temporary Jr. High bandee : ) Ally, Tay, Zach, JM, and Me

CRUISE!!!!! Got kissed by a dolphin, and got another Family Pyramid picture taken, to name a few...



Mr. Rick Appreciation party...

Hahaa, a sideways pic of Mr. Rick? Take what you can get.

BBD! (Band Beach Day) Our last band party : (

Katie, Trey, Will, Riley, Me

A photo taken while birds were attacking me that actually turned out to be pretty awesome : )

The boys - Trey, Riley, Chino, Will

Band + James and Emily Roberts and a big bear! : )



It's been a splendid summer.

Now it's time to be a senior and get into "focus mode".

Guess who's employed - for the first time - as of today... : )

Well, about 30 minutes ago Andrew, mom, and dad left to take Andrew to Baylor.

This is the day that I have always dreaded, yet knew would come quickly.

Here it is.

Last night was such a great last night for us as a family, though. I will always love and treasure the times that we have, as a family, gathered in our small living room to pray and to talk. I will never forget last night.

Bon Voyage, Andrew. I love you so much, and will miss you. Though our family won't be the same, and though it seems like this is the "end of an era" - which it is, by the way : ) - I really believe that this next chapter in our family's collective life will be exciting and have lots to offer. Thanks for being an awesome big brother who has blazed the trail for the rest of us so well. The things you said last night meant so much to me and I will always remember your heartfelt words!

Tomorrow at 10 am I have my first job interview ever! For Chick-Fil-A. Keep fingers crossed...

If that doesn't work out, though, I have Gatti's : )

I promise I'll get to the cruise - right now, all I can think about and post about is struggles I am having with, you guessed it, CHANGE.

It's definitely sunk in tonight when we had the first band practice for the new year - there are some new people, and we are on a new side for the time being, etc. I had flashbacks to the beginning of this year when Trey joined our band mid-October - I remember how kind of tense and hectic it was - so much so that I had to resort to singing a High School Musical song to lift spirits ("Come on, guys, we can TOTALLY turn this thing around! ...We've got to work, work, work this out! We'll make things right, the suuuun will shine..."). The HSM theme song of this year is definitely going to be "We're All in This Together" ; ). Haha, all joking aside, I think that a crucial thing for me, and possibly for everyone else, to understand is that we're all in the same boat. None of us really have an idea how this is exactly going to work out, and there are still many questions and uncertainties, etc. It's going to be a step-by-step journey, praying every step of the way. And judging by our talk after practice, it seems like everyone is overwhelmed with everything happening this upcoming semester and with the crazy schedules.

We talked about "WIG Take" - What's It Gonna Take. What is it going to take for me to stay focused and not emotionally or mentally or spiritually fall apart with all the things that are going to be happening? For me, it's going to take a lot of trust. It's going to take me giving up all my plans and the way that I would like for my schedule to be like, or what I would like the band to be like, etc. etc. It's going to take a more focused focus, if that makes sense, and a sense of purpose, whether or not I'm "feeling it". It's going to be hard, but I think it's going to be exhilarating. I just don't want to miss any of it or not see what God is doing because I am too afraid or worried or stressed or anything. I don't want to fall apart just because things get hard. And I believe that God is going to be faithful and give me what I need to stare Change in the face and accept it and embrace it and be able to learn in the midst of it.

I've grown so much this summer - I've been challenged a LOT, in a good way, and certain things have clicked for the first time. It's been a definite journey and joy this summer to grow and learn more, and I believe that God has shown Himself in great ways to not only me but to many people who were involved in the 249 things this summer - camp, Beach in the Box, Throwdown, etc. It's been too powerful, if only just for me personally, to not be changed forever. I'm excited about what else He'll do in my life and in 249. With fear and trembling...

"Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure."
Philippians 2:12-13

I'm so thankful that it is Him who works in me. May He, in His grace, be my strength when I will inevitably be weak, and enable me to have an attitude towards change and everything happening that I would never anticipate or predict.

Here's a song that Amanda showed me yesterday by this guy named Jeff Johnson that I really like. May this be my prayer.

Woe to me, I am unclean
A sinner found in Your presence.
I see you seated on Your throne -
Exalted, Your Glory surrounds You.

Now the plans that I have made
Fail to compare when I see Your glory.

Ruin my life, the plans I have made;
Ruin desires for my own selfish gain.
Destroy the idols that have taken Your place,
'Till its You alone I live for.

Holy Holy is the Lord Almighty
Holy is the Lord! 

Wow...what a vacation!!

I'll post more later. Right now, I'm just really tired.

We are off to Galveston to set sail on our cruise! Woohoo! : )

See y'all Thursday.

1. Cruise tomorrow, which is exciting!, but not so fun right now because certain people not to be named are on edge in the Roberts household.

2. I had to call in to hear my AP scores - apparently scores got lost in the mail. Eek! But it's all good. I got a 5 on my English one (out of 5 : ), and a *cough*3*cough* on my Chemistry one, haha. Don't worry, I wasn't expecting anything higher. I'm more relieved that it's OVER.

3. My room is clean!

4. "It's only fun insulting you when you get offended." - Blake Roberts

5. Did I mention that everyone is on edge?

It took me 2-3 hours to go to sleep last night. It was ridiculous. My mind was so preoccupied with worry about this next year. BAH!

22Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. 23And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, 24but the boat by this time was a long way from the land, beaten by the waves, for the wind was against them. 25And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. 26But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, "It is a ghost!" and they cried out in fear. 27But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying,  "Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid."

 28And Peter answered him, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water." 29He said, "Come." So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. 30But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, "Lord, save me." 31Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him,  "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" 32And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. 33And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."

This gives me a peace, though - to know that even if I become too afraid and fail that Jesus will take hold of me and remind me once more that I need to have faith and to not be afraid, and that to get out of the boat onto the waves is better than staying in the boat.


But for now all I really need is rest. Sigh.

Cruise in 3 days...

Jr. High Camp was great! I'm very glad that I went. It got cut short because of Mr. Eduard, but to be honest I'm kind of glad because I am POOPED. Overall a great experience. My 5th time to go to Victory Camp... Oh, how I love it.


As for what the haps is right now, the hour after I got home was pretty emotionally overwhelming for me. Right now I'm at that stage where I don't want to do anything. Mom's making me clean my room. Amanda is sick and can't be with us this week. It's August 5th. 20 days until school. Responsibilities are increasing, along with my laziness. I'm going to have to get a job to earn several hundred dollars. Where I will work, of course, is beyond me. One of my biggest fears is never having any time. I don't know how this is all going to iron out. I'm not certain that I'm ready. I just want to hide from the world and remain numbed to the effects. It's hard to trust Him sometimes.

May this be true for me...

In the mountains of joy, in the valley of tears 
I will love You, I will trust You 
When the flame's burning bright, when I'm weary and dry 
I will love You, I will trust You 

You are my strength and my song 
Giving me hope and guiding me on

At all times I will sing of Your greatness 
At all times I will sing of Your love 
At all times I will say You are faithful 
For Your goodness remains 
And Your love is the same at all times 

When Your guidance is clear, when I can't see ahead 
I will love You, I will trust You
In the summer of life, in the soul's darkest night 
I will love You, I will trust You 

Whatever life brings, still I will sing
You are good, You are good, You are good!

Vicky Beeching's "At All Times"