This is more or less a joke/for fun (I think there will be a lot more sarcasm in here than I have anticipated. I promise, it's all just a joke!), just something spur-of-the-moment I was thinking about and wanted to post. So enjoy.

10. Random Ice Cream parties. One practice me and Amanda were in a festive mood, and I joked and said, we should have an ice cream party! And everyone was all gung-ho about it, and Amanda was like, let's go to Kroger! And so Mr. Rick and Darren gave us a few bucks and we went and got like 2 gallons of mint chocolate chip ice cream and a little thing of sherbert for Kelsey. So that was fun...that is, until we came back and everyone got mad at us for getting ice cream. I swear, they all acted like we had just brought guns to band practice or something. It's funny thinking about how polar their initial reactions and ice-cream reactions were now, but at the time me and Amanda were utterly confused. And everyone was all, we don't even like mint chocolate chip ice cream, even though we asked them if they wanted another kind before hand and they said mint choco is okay. Sigh.
9. I get to show off my big mouth on a regular basis. Pretty much every practice I made it a ritual to go, "hey, Amanda, guess what? I can fit my mouth around the mic!", after which I would do so. She would go, "really? So can I!", and everyone got grossed out and we laughed. We had a pretty sweet gig going on for a while.
8. I've improved my attention-getting skills. It's only inevitable, after thousands of practices of me saying "hey, I've got a great idea, let's practice!" several times in a row at the beginning. We're a little hard to round-up. But I've learned how to bring down the hammer and light a fire.
7. I get to listen to Riley play the drums. I mean, he's so good. It's such an honor to be blessed with the sound of his awesome drumming. Every. Single. Minute. Of. Practice. But you know what they say, you don't realize how much you value something until it's gone. But lucky for me, I'll never have to experience that regret because he'll never...EVER... stop playing...
6. Prayer circles with Mr. Rick. "Who wants to pray?" *Mr. Rick looks at person who wants to pray*. Need I say more?
5. Band hugs. Our band hugs are interesting. Well, the thing is, that we actually don't really have them...they are more like band "huddles". Though, it's hard to do that when people in said huddle only slightly touch the shoulders of the people next to them...cough, Trey. Hey, but it's okay. I'm getting used to it. Maybe we should all do that so it would be less awkward.
4. Being the band secretary/social coordinator. That's right. There is nothing that I love more than to be the one on whom all social events within the band rest. Wait, I can think of something that I love more than that. What I REALLY love is planning an event and then people not being able to go, except I can't make everyone happy and so I just have to choose a night and it ends up being just me and Trey and the Jr. high band (that's right, I'm their secretary/social coordinator too). AND I love getting called by Mr. Rick asking me why I uninvited the Jr. High band even when that is the furthest thing from the truth, especially considering that if I were to have uninvited them, it would have been just me and Trey, which, I'm sorry, is not a party. Oh, but I can think of something that I don't love about it. I don't love when the plans seem to be going perfectly. It always seems...too perfect. Thankfully, the eeriness of that perfect situation is always squelched when I find out that the day that I planned the party happens to also be the day of some random church-wide event that we must go to. Perf. There are more things that I love about being the band secretary/social coordinator (which I thought I had fired myself from...but apparently not, because I planned the last one. I guess that job never really escapes me), but I'll spare you for now.
3. Getting my bass amp taken away from me against my will. Whew, I'm so glad that I had to go through that. Good thing I could always hear myself loud and clear, or else I would have been really annoyed, because the taking away of bass amp would have appeared pointless.

I think I've had enough fun with that for now : ).
Now seriously...

2. Being in the band has taught me a thing or two about "freaking out", and change. I've learned, as I mentioned a few posts before, that freaking out never helps anyone else in any situation. It helps me, of course ; ), but it gets rather obnoxious to others. But I've learned somewhat to compartmentalize when something is stressing me or when I'm pressed for time or anything else, especially in band situations. Usually, though, it works because it goes like this - Trey says "este vata" and makes me feel like I'm insane for freaking out, Katie calms me down with logic, Will's indifference doesn't affect my mood at all, and Amanda just makes light of everything (in a good way), though Riley is usually freaking out about something else, too...but it all ends up ironing out. In any case, things have been changing lately, from the stage set up to Amanda being gone throughout July to James Roberts in stead of Mr. Rick this summer. I've had to learn that change is not always bad. James has been completely awesome, and I'm glad that we've had the honor of him being with us. Obviously, he does things differently from Mr. Rick, but that's because a) they have vastly different personalities and methods, and b) Mr. Rick is probably almost twice his age ; ). I'm still struggling with change, of course, though, evidenced because not only did the band's efforts to explain to me why changing up the stage is necessary and not harmful fail, but I also still find myself saying "but that's not the way we've always done it" quite a bit, or at least thinking it. But I'm slowly getting over it. Change, I mean. In time...
1. Watching God use us in so many ways despite our incompetences. Obviously, this is the one that I value most (but notice, it's number one!). All joking aside, it's been so neat to watch how much this band has evolved musically, socially, and most importantly, spiritually. We got off to a very rocky start, but after Blind Spot, it was evident that it was all much greater than us. We definitely were not as prepared as we would have liked to have been (I recall having to calm Amanda down before hand because she thought we weren't well-prepared at all. She was the most freaked out I've ever seen her be!), but we ended up playing well, and God used us in so many ways. It was pretty awesome. Same with camp. It always ends up working perfectly - just two Sundays ago, we hadn't practiced really, and we just picked a random set and played it. The first couple songs weren't exactly up to par, but the second set songs went PERFECTLY with what Jeremy talked about, and we didn't even have any foreknowledge of the message! It was tight. I can't even explain it, though...how much I feel we have improved, and how much Trey and Katie and Amanda have risen up as leaders. We all have, really, but those are the ones that came to my mind first...Trey and Katie because they are the most obvious (Trey is the "defacto" leader as we all call him ; ). but all joking aside, he is a natural leader and has grown up and matured SO MUCH, even in just this year. I couldn't even describe!), and Katie because she leads vocals most of the time, but Amanda as well because I've been able to watch her become much more confident - not in her own abilities, but in God's ability to work through her. It's been really cool watching her do things without questioning and doing them really well - God has just completely shined through her this year. It's rocked. And of course, Riley has always been a leader. Will has kind of come out of his shell ; )...from what I understand, camp was a big step for him in some ways. I'm excited to get to know him more and watch him grow next year. As for me, I can only hope that I've risen up as more of a leader who doesn't rely on herself...who doesn't trust in chariots or weaponry or man's ability, as it says in the Bible, but in God and His power alone. I cannot tell you how rewarding being in the band is, if only because I get to see God equip who He calls, regardless of the level of talent or expertise (which in many cases is average, or at least nothing too extraordinary). To be a part of one of man's favorite and most expressive form of worship is so rewarding, not only personally, but also as a band. I can't wait to see what else is in store for us...

It's quite entertaining. My favorite so far has been this...


"I realllly want to drive! but guess what, I'm getting my permit by the end of feb. aka my license before the end of august, before junior year, before any of my freshman friends! and I am really excited. this is a little later than anticipated, but whatever. the point is that it's going to happen. and SIXTEEN, this summer! ah. I can't even believe it. at all. it's surreal, it's going to be amazing, it's going to be sad. sixteen is such a huge age. definitely the age I've been waiting for since I was 8 years old. it's been interesting to see how I've turned out....the younger 10 year old me who played house with her 8 year old sister bethany and pretended that she was sixteen and beautiful and quite the social butterfly with a cool car and a cool boyfriend...may be disappointed to see how the actual sixteen year old molly will be. but, I'm still me, and I definitely haven't changed much- whether that's for the worse or for the better. I'm thinking that sixteen isn't all that it's cracked up to be, though. not sure.  of course, after sixteen I'll be craving 18 and after 18 I'll be craving 21 and after 21 I'll want to get married and then stay in my mid-twenties, and then when I get thirty I will pretend to want to be "thirty, flirty, and thriving" but I'll still be partially in denial, and then when I hit mid-thirties I'll realize that I'm in my thirties and approaching the forties fast, and when I'm forty I will learn to just lie about my age but be secretly satisfied with everything and just live my life and realize that I have at least half my life left. then commences the mid-life crisis, followed by a cute silver convertible and a "weekend with the girls", then I will cry all the time because my children are growing up so fast, and then my children will be grown up and I will be home alone around my 50s, but not really cause I'll have my husband. when we are finally "freed" of parenthood (though I'm sure it never ends), we'll travel the world and live off retirement money and spoil our grandchildren and make them cookies and I'll sit home and knit all day in my rocking chair. I'll play piano often, take long walks, be in a "bridge club" and play bingo with the folks, I'll always want to play cards, and I'll butt into my grandchildren's life too much. then all the sudden my grandchildren will be getting older, and as will I. around 70 I'll decide that I've lived a really good life and I'll finally be content with my age and I'll be the cute grandmotherly type who isn't afraid to die and is always teaching her grandchildren valuable lessons. one of my grandchildren will look like me, and another will have my personality, and I'll be able to finally see myself from the outside looking in. I will thank God daily for everything and always make sure that I am ready for when the day comes. when I get too old to where I have to walk slow and talk slow and say "what did you say?" repeatedly, I will still be happy and I will still have my husband by my side so everything will be okay. I'll die sometime around 90 peacefully, and my children, grandchildren, and greatgrandchildren will hopefully remember me as someone who finally learned to not live in the past or in the future, but to just live now but with ready feet, and as someone who taught and learned at the same time and who loved sincerely and who was pleasant and not bitter. and most importantly, I can only pray that they will remember me as someone who loved God and who radiated His love to others.
 I can't wait!"

I've learned that me freaking out doesn't help ANYBODY, in ANY given situation.

Just figured you'd be happy to know that.

The more summer rolls on, the more I've been realizing how hard it will be for me when it ends.

The changes coming up on the beginning of my senior year, which I'm already feeling the sting of, are a prelude to the even huger changes that will happen a year from now.


"Just because everything's changing, doesn't mean it's never been this way before..."

Today was a really good day! I love VBS. But I'm sort of also glad it's over. I'm going to have "Outrigger Island" stuck in my head for the rest of my life.


I've learned that I judge people a lot more than I think I do. I need to remember what Jeremy talked about on Sunday. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

"Great Father of Mercies, Thy goodness I own, in the covenant Love of Thy crucified Son; All Praise to the Spirit whose Whisper divine seals mercy and pardon, and righteousness, mine..."


But I'm just really excited about Wall-e.


p.s., please be praying for Jeremy, Danielle Weghorst, and Danielle Ordonez. Today they fly off to S. Africa, where they will be serving God for a week!

Got my SAT scores today!! I got a 2180 out of 2400, which is so much better than I expected!! My composite score is 1380, out of 1600. So I guess I'm pretty pleased. I got a 800 on Writing (which is perfect!), and a 690 on both Reading and Math.

The perfectionist in me wants to take it again because I know I can do better. I'm right on the brink of being in the top top range of scores - the big scholarships, I've found (such as Brown Scholarship at Southwestern, which is basically full tuition!), want you to get like a 1400+ composite on the SAT. Same with the Scholars schools (such as Plan II at UT). So, I'm so close. I know that I could do it! So I'll take it again in October. We'll see what happens...


VBS is over...so weird! It was totally fun : )


Now, I'm just really excited about making this epic cake!

My birthday was very amazing, and it ain't over yet (Friday bday party). I'm very excited about decorating the cake. It'll be great!


In other news, I've been in a lull. Right now I don't think I'll be able to make cohesive sentences to elaborate. I am just tired of trying to please everyone all the time. Yet I always do. And I dislike "groups". Especially when they are within the walls of my church, the place (besides my house) where I feel most at home. But I don't think I'll ever be able to escape them, so I'll just crawl back into my hole. Lately my free time has been spent in my room - in my pajamas, reading "I Am America (And So Can You!)", which is really funny, then napping while listening to soft music in the background. It's quite nice. I want it to be summer forever. But it won't be. I'm just kind of walking around though, aimlessly. I like it, but on the other hand I wish that I knew what I wanted to do at all times. I know what I like to do, but not what I want to do at any given time. That makes no sense. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've lost my sense of purpose lately. I'll get it back, don't worry.


VBS is great. Summer is great. God is great.

Everything's grrr-eat...

I'll post on my birthday later...

First things first, I met a girl from FRANCE who's a foreign exchange student with the Frost's on Thursday! Her name is Chloe. And she rocks. I met her at the Throwdown afterparty. We talked the entire time, haa. Mostly in English (hers is surprisingly very well), but I spoke in French some to practice. It was très intéressant.

One thing I keep thinking about, though, is something we talked about for little while. I asked her about the Christmas traditions in France, and they were pretty similar to ours.Then I told her ours, and included that we go to church Christmas Eve and sing songs and hear the story of Jesus, etc. And then I asked her if she goes to church. She says that she doesn't really anymore, because in France it is very boring. Of course, her family is Catholic, as most of France is. She not only said that, but she also said, while struggling to find the English word, that she "ne crois pas" - doesn't believe. She said that to people her age in France, God is not relevant and that they don't usually believe in Him. She said she'll probably go to church and do that stuff when she gets older because she'll feel like she must. I've been thinking about that a lot lately, and it's made me really sad. I've also read a little on the internet about France's "spiritual condition". It seems France's youth and the culture is becoming more and more separated from the church and from God, probably mostly because they don't see God or His love, only a boring church that is too caught up in tradition and legalism, and that their churches are becoming more separated from and seemingly irrelevant to the young people. I don't know...for some reason, I've been troubled by the thought that there is an evident need in France for people to go and reconnect the people and the culture to God, not the Catholic church or tradition, and to remind the French of Jesus' love and of all He has to offer each and every one of them as individuals...yet I imagine there aren't many who flock there to meet that need, possibly because on the surface it doesn't seem like a place that needs much help.

Just something I've been thinking about.

After band practice today, James Roberts (who will be helping us this summer instead of Mr. Rick) had us sit down to have a bible study time. At one point, he talked about how a few years ago it clicked for him that he needed to make everything about God. He had already been a Christian for quite some time, but what he meant was that if anything he watched, listened to, said, etc. had anything to do with anything that God hated, he wanted nothing to do with it. Of course, he admitted openly that it was a struggle and that it has not been easy at all.

To be honest, that really is a scary thought for me. I got this feeling in the pit of my stomach. I don't know why. I mean, knowing that there is nowhere you could turn in this world without there being something not of God, and knowing that a lot of my favorite shows and movies though they may not be "provocative" in the world's eyes are not all pure, it is daunting. And though I know that as a Christian this is the way that I should be living, but I can't help but think, "Is there really no other way around it?". There must be a balance somewhere between the legalism and the "as long as my heart is right" attitude.

"Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead." (Philippians 3:8-11)

I'll make that my prayer.


"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." (Ephesians 3:20-21)

Whew! This past week has been vastly eventful...

Camp, namely. Playing in big church. I found out I stink at Phase 10. Big decisions to be made.


but, most importantly...

My birthday is in 4 days!!! Wow, it basically snuck up on me. : ) It's crazy. I'm terribly excited.

Turning 17. To the naked eye, it seems as an unimportant birthday. But I will have you know that there is no such thing.

I'll be the dancing queen, young and sweet, only SEVENTEEN!
And it will be exciting.

Something really odd happened today...I went to Prestige Photos to take my cap-and-gown and drape pictures.

WEIRD!


Nothing interesting to report, except I got to have a first infamous "soft smile" experience. Before hand I was thinking about the rote of picture-taking and was hoping with all my heart that they wouldn't verbally try to evoke a certain facial expression from me, considering I know that any of them they could possibly say would end up the exact same way, with me trying my hardest not to laugh. It wasn't that bad, but I heard a "okay, now soft smile" a few times...and I'm pretty sure none of the pictures will be "soft-smiley" because every time they said that I smiled even BIGGER because of what was going on through my mind. It ended up with me "softly smiling" to the best of my ability for like one second, and then thinking, "What is a soft-smile, anyway?" which would lead to "oh my gosh, I canNOT believe they just asked me to soft smile!" which leads to "this is really funny that I'm soft smiling" which lead to a bigger smile to accompany and attempt to mask a slight smirk. Also, the lady who was telling me which way to put my head spoke at what I'm pretty sure was just 2 decibels above the sound a bug makes when it rubs its legs together and used her hand to tell me where to position my head, and it was a little nerve-wracking because it took like a minute each time to get me to be able to follow her hand and catch on to what the "system" was. I was like, oh my gosh, could you just speak a little louder and tell me? but whatevs. I think they'll come out okay. hopefully. but I bet you I'll be able to tell which ones came after the "soft smile" comments! : )

So far this summer, I have...

Read Sense and Sensibility and The Girl With a Pearl Earring, watched Sense and Sensibility, watched A Walk to Remember, made two spectacular smoothies, slept in a bunch, bought a dress, eaten lots of Taco Bell, tanned a tad, watched Dan In Real Life and was surprised (I really really liked it!!!), played lots of Wii (Mario Kart!), KEPT MY ROOM CLEAN (it's been an every single day sort of effort), drunk lots of water, driven quite a bit, seen a dance recital for the first time, watched my brother graduate, created, started to learn songs for VBS and get really excited about it, spent money (I really need to learn how to manage the dollars), gotten a hair cut, spent time with Amanda, worn pajamas more than ever, and eaten at El Gallo twice...


just to name a few things.