You'll see what I'm talking about.

HAPPY MOLE DAY! :)

Party tomorrow in Chemistry. I'm bringing cupcakes!

Wow. I can't even wrap my head around how difficult of a week it's been. How emotionally and mentally straining it proved to be. Too many huge things and transitions happening all at once. I mean, I can't even understand. Certain things that had been rooted into my mind and emotions have been ripped out. Eee.  It's so tough.  One line, though, of this one song (Inside Out) that keeps running through my mind is "Everlasting, Your Light will shine when all else fades". What peace comes over me when I think of that.

"Cast your cares on the LORD
       and he will sustain you;
       he will never let the righteous fall."
Psalms 55:22


"When I said, "My foot is slipping,"
       your love, O LORD, supported me.
When anxiety was great within me,
       your consolation brought joy to my soul."
Psalms 94:18-19


And one of my all-time favorite ones that has ringed SO true for me, especially this past month...could just bring tears to my eyes. So simple but so true.

"Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you."
Psalms 116:7


I feel like I've grown up a little this past month. Even through school, where I'm having to take stances on certain issues and back up why I think a certain way. Now, I'm used to expressing my opinions and backing them up fervently, but these opinions usually don't go further than why haunted houses are the worst idea human beings have ever come up with or why not trying in high school is the stupidest thing to do. I'm having to sift through everything I'm taking in now and kind of filter what I know to be true and what is in the gray. I have pretty strong intuitions sometimes, but it's so hard to know when to trust these intuitions. It's so hard to discern when I can't receive a right-away direct answer from God. I'm coming to the point where I have to tear down my pre-conceived notions because I don't even know why I believe certain things. I've been really trying to process everything and go through the undeniable Truths and how they relate to the situation. I suppose this is just another one of those things that come in time.


Well...I guess I'm ready to tackle this next week. Not so willing...but ready. I know that I have what I need. Gosh...I never predicted this year was going to be so hard. It feels like it never ends. I'll just hold out for hope for this week- I mean, if last week was so bad, this one CAN'T be worse...right?

Ahh. I feel completely awesome.

I'm at school! And I'm blogging (in Computer Science). Mwahaa. My blog is one of the only ones that's not blocked from the school server. Thinklings.org is blocked, which I suppose should be some sort of triumph for my father and his thinking friends.

I love this class. We do nothing. Well, we do things but I get done with them extremely fast. I just got two cookies. And it's Friday. I can barely make sentences. My joy is abundant!

Except this weekend I'm going to have a lot of homework. A lot of things to do. A stupid video project. I hate doing video projects. Because I'm the one who has to edit them. And there's no time to do it. Blah. And then I have to read a gajillion pages in my history book. And I have to read the Declaration of Independence. Which is so boring. And I have a literary analysis quiz for English for it. And precalculus book pages. And a pre-lab for Chemistry. And I really want to sleep and rest and have fun and watch movies. I'm going to Barnes and Noble after school though! I like that place. I'm going to get an apple cider. I've been craving one of those for days.


Over and out.

Mmmm.

This, too, shall pass.

Too much happening in too little time, and too much emotional burden in too little time.

I just don't understand. And I don't really know what to say in this most but I felt like I had to.



I don't know. Sometimes I get tired of trying too hard. Of caring so much. Because it really puts pressure on my emotional and mental state sometime.

Eh, but I know that I'll never not try as hard as I can and I'll never not care. It's not how I'm wired. Every once in a while, though, I just want to see what would happen if I just went through the motions. Well, I know what would happen, actually. I would fall on my face. But it would feel good, for a while. Of course, when I snap out of it I would feel terrible and I would then start to beat myself up because I let myself do that. And I digress.

Well, the PSAT was today. Which is probably why all this is coming out, haha. I just felt the weight of, well, this is basically ALL I've been working for since the end of July. But ya know...in the long term, it really won't matter. Unless I do as well as I hope I did, then benefit$ will be reaped :):)



Sigh. Mom's letting me stay home from school tomorrow.

Thank you, mom!

Sorry for the lack of postage...things have been mighty busy lately.

I know everyone wanted a Homecoming update- I should have just posted one while the whole experience was still fresh in my mind. Right now, a homecoming "part two" post would be nothing more than a few descriptive words. I do apologize. I will never learn.
I suppose the least I could do would be to give a few of those descriptive words I have in mind.
Fun!, new experience, nauseous (who didn't suffer after Pappadeux?), gross (my feet. barefoot. cafeteria floor. need I say more? that's always part of the experience, though), dance dance dance (I must say I didn't dance much - most of the time we were all watching the boys dance because they were so ridiculous. trust me...you don't want me to elaborate), dressed up:), exciting, TIRING (I faded pretty fast after the fact at Lauren's house),...all in all, good, clean fun with friends :) A very positive experience.


In other news...

Alright, I'm about to say something really vague. But I can't think of any other way to say it.
I think a chapter in my life has come to a close. Actually, a chapter in the way I think- this idea I've held for a while. It has to do with "boy-girl" relations. Like every girl, I have in the past held certain ideas about how they should be, especially around this age...but the more and more I see it happening around me, the more I see what I don't want, no matter how much I thought I wanted it.

That is all.

My new "thing": Going to bed early.



More on Homecoming later!

So yesterday was a really good day!

I had never really had a mum before until this time around. I gotta admit, it's pretty exciting. Homecoming day is the one day when it's completely alright to be profusely obnoxious! :) As you can imagine, though, no one got any work done today, hahaa. In any case, combining that with PEP RALLY....ah. amazing day. And then...the GAME!! Mmm, I painted my face pretty awesomely. Had six paw prints on my right cheek, a CF on the left, and I was a bobcat because I painted a nose and whiskers! :) And, I got to paint Bree, Hudson, and Kyle's face (after begging). So that was pretty exciting. Cy-Fair blew the brains out of Jersey Village. It was like 62-7. hahaaa. Sam McGuffie played! And he scored like 3 touchdowns within the first 10 minutes of the game. It was pretty tight. And then after the game whenever the band was playing me and Bethany interpretive danced to it. And then we did our What Time is It? dance. It was tight.

In any case, Homecoming Part One was lots of fun. I'll keep ya posted on Homecoming Part Two! Wish me luck (mostly because we're going to Pappadeaux. Now, I'm not complaining or anything, but seafood is my least favorite genre of food. Either that or Asian food. I can't decide. Actually, though, I looked on the menu online and saw a few things that I could eat. Good thing, too- or else I'd have to make everyone feel really guilty the whole night ;) haahhha, just kidding, of course.)

"Be at rest once more, oh my soul, for the Lord has been good to you."
Psalm 116:7


Breathe in, breathe out.