So, I got the dress!

This years dress experience was almost IDENTICAL to last years'.

Here's how it goes:

Me and mom go to a store. The first dress I see and love I connect with. I have this strange intuition that the dress is "the one". None other seems to give the same vibe. Last year, I knew before I even saw my dress that it was going to be red. This year, I knew that my dress was going to be black. I just knew! Anyways, mom likes dress but is not convinced because of the price. She insists we go elsewhere. We go to other stores and look- no luck. Long story short, she gives in and takes me back to the original store to find the first dress. Size not there. We have to hunt down dress in the Woodlands and come home really late, feeling VICTORIOUS!

Not my favorite routine, but it makes the buying of the dress all the more satisfying.

"I've come to you on a hard road and I'm not letting you go..."

Yeah. It's like that.

Beth is ridiculous. She'd eat if we were having Tony Loaf...
Haha, anyone who has talked to her within the past two weeks would know what I'm talking about.



Welp...
I'm going to homecoming!!

Not sure what to post. But the subject said it all.

Well, of course, now I feel bad about that last post. I still hold on to my beliefs, but I didn't mean to make it such a personal attack.

In any case, it came to bite me in the butt today anyway because she actually taught us something. I spent the whole class time in guilt and paranoia that she will google her name and find this post because of something my dad said this morning.

But, alas. All is well.


I will now get back to teaching myself Chemistry II.

I dislike Chemistry II a whole bunch.

Well, more specifically, my teacher.

You know, I think that one of the most prominent reasons that I want to become a teacher is because of teachers like Mrs. B. You would think that it would be the really great and inspiring teachers that would entice me the most to go into Education (though, of course, they do play a huge part as well), but No! It's the crummy teachers that make me angry and stress me out that make me want to be a teacher for the sole purpose of correcting the wrong ideas some teachers have of what being a teacher implies. Now, I may not be the sharpest or most clever or "quickest" person floating about CyberSpace, but I'm pretty sure I have enough sense to understand what the word Teacher means. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm almost positive that that title has at least an implication that there is teaching involved. Makes sense to me. But apparently not to Mrs. B. No - some things we haven't learned yet, she REFUSES to teach us! NO ONE in the class has the slightest idea what is going on. Today, she handed us this packet of types of reactions and all these really advanced concepts and this worksheet, and basically just told us to do it on our own. She wasn't even going to go over it or anything. We must fend for ourselves in this class. Now, I do understand that this is an AP class. But I'll be darned if in college they just hand you a great chunk of important information and don't attempt to at least brush the topic. I've obviously never been to college, but I've always had the impression that the hour or two you spend sitting in class involve some form of lecturing or instruction and that the professor doesn't just give a bunch of busy work to be done quietly while they grade papers or run errands. Like I said - correct me if I'm wrong. In any case, I have to give Mrs. B a little credit. She has been helpful in the past whenever I've gone up to her and asked for help or clarification. It would help a lot of people to do so as well - if 80% of the class wasn't terrified of her. She talks to us like we're stupid. Today in class as we went over bookwork, everyone blank-faced and confused, she explained stuff as if we were supposed to be born with that kind of knowledge. Oh, that's right- I forgot that there are 2 moles of hydrogen per every H20 (and just to clarify- I'm not stupid, I know there are two atoms of hydrogen - but this is a completely different thing). I forgot all about that day that you didn't mention that. When I sheepishly mentioned that I didn't really understand why she multiplied whatever by two, she gave me the "you're stupid" look and just repeated the previous statement. And we had this quiz today. I PROMISE you we have NEVER discussed one of the kinds of questions I encountered today. I take AMAZING notes. I write down every concept she says and I copy all the examples and stuff. I could look back in my notes and prove it to you. I'm just so upset. Why did Mrs. Compton have to get promoted to "Central Office"? Humph. This is going to be a gross year of Chemistry. Today Mrs B told us that we obviously don't know our stuff well enough so we better check out a study guide booklet and teach ourselves. Well, she didn't say "teach yourself", but she might as well have.

Sigh. I know that somewhere in all of this I'm at fault, whether in a small or big way. But mark my words - I just might become a teacher. And if I do, I will change the way people think. I will change the way people learn. I will change the way people live. I will help and teach and love and inspire and influence.

All because of Mrs. B.

High School Musical songs have been stuck in my head for the past week, and it seems they will be there for all eternity. Oh dear.

I can't decide whether this week has been good or bad...Monday was bad, Tuesday good, Wednesday okay, Thursday okay, and Friday good. All have been kind of interesting. Except for Wednesday. Wednesday was boring.

Practice PSAT tomorrow. Gotta keep movin' it on up.

Today was a really good day! And for no particular reason. Just because it was :) Which is very good. I've been needing a good day. I think it's all about attitude.

HSMusical2 has been stuck in my head all day. I started Slaughterhouse-Five today. It's very interesting. Very random! But I like it a lot so far. Got all A's on my progress report today. Got to do test corrections for full credit today.

AND!
Umm, that cute boy that I've mentioned before that I had a "celebrity crush" on all through Jr. high, who now sits next to me in Pre-calculus...yeah, he was in my group today for this assessment we had to do! :):) Definitely sat right across from him. I actually talked to him! More in one day than I did in three years. Yup- I'm getting there. Slowly, but surely.


Well, for more serious matters, I don't think I told everyone, but, as of my last practice test, I'm only 4 PSAT points away from National Merit! Which makes me want to bite my tongue. Because now I feel pressure. But, you know. If I want it badly enough...I'll get it.


And I'm going driving with momma today!

Yes... today is a good day.

Sigh. School. I don't really like it. I'm trying to, but I don't see how anyone can like school.

So, no- school isn't "eating my life". I don't have mounds and mounds of homework every night. The work load is not my concern- I can handle it. It's the concepts. The details. Those things that get in my way of the "big picture". I'm learning more and more that I HATE details. Perfect example: English. I've always been able to hold my own in an essay, especially ones where it's totally subjective and I just get to tell what I think, because, well, they are my thoughts and I am good at knowing what I think. However, I rarely get A's on content tests. You know, who did what and who said what and such. The tests they only have to try to catch people who didn't read. Yes, I read the book. In fact, I finished it in better time than most everyone else in the class. Yes, Mrs. Raz, I read The Once and Future King over spring break! No, I do not remember the name of Lancelot's son. Why? Oh, because the name isn't important. No, I did not get an A on the test. I got an 82. Why? Because half of it was on characters and their names. If you haven't read the book, there are about a gajillion characters, and most of their names look exactly alike. I must have bombed the essay, too, right? No, I got a 94 on my essay! There is something wrong with me. The part of me that retains details is too busy with other matters and apparently doesn't want to file away whatever it considers trivial. That's why I like math. There is a specific goal to this problem- find the value of "x". How am I going to get there? Oh, I can do this and this and this. And there you go. X=2. There are specific things you have to do to achieve the goal. And you learn it by doing it. You can be good at math if you practice it. History, however, is completely different. To be good at history is to be good at knowing things. To be good at remembering details. Now, I know that that isn't a completely valid statement, but it seems that way these days. Why must I know the name of the general of the British army during the American Revolution (whose name, to illustrate, escapes me completely right now even though I read that stuff just yesterday. I think it starts with a B.)? Sigh. I have to work 3 times as hard as everyone else to even come close to the grades some people get in history. It's not fair! I TRY to be interested in history. I really do. I TRY to listen hard (which I do!) and then remember the things I just heard (but that I usually do not do). Usually, though, things go in one ear and out the other. History isn't important yet in my brain. How do I get myself interested enough in it so that whenever I'm doing readings I'm not distracted by the fact that I hate it and that all I want to do is finish the notes and be done with it? How can I begin to read and learn history with the intent to remember the information and apply it? I just don't understand. This year is going to be extra extra hard unless I can figure out a strategy to retain all this information I must know without swerving from the real reason I'm learning it. I'm not having problems in Chemistry II (that I know of - I haven't gotten the test back yet) or Pre-Calculus (though I guess it's too early to tell), and certainly not Computer Science or French. English I'm doing pretty good- she actually told me that the essay I wrote a couple weekends ago (which was our first one of the year) was amazing and that she wants to use it to demonstrate how to write that kind of essay. Barring the content tests  I must endure, I don't think this year is going to be hard. But US History. A stinkin' P.  I'm going to have to figure out something, and I'm going to have to figure it out fast. You have no idea how badly I bombed our first test we took last week.

Well, in any case...I'm me. I'm going to figure out something. Somehow I can always manage to attain what I want to attain. But this time I just want to make it as easy and efficient as possible to do that.

Wow, what a night!

Just went on a double daddy date with Beth and the pops. Which is always interesting. The last one we went to ended up with us at the end of the night at IHOP with Beth laughing so hard it looked like she was crying and people were looking at us and things were getting spilled and we were all out of sorts. Tonight was basically like that. Except with so many more awkward moments.

Well, so we went to the Woodlands - which, first of all, is one of my favorite places to be -, Borders, specifically, which is also one of my favorite places to be. We were there for about an hour and I looked at this photo book and drank some apple cider (mmm!) from this place within called Seattle's Best. Then we went to Black-Eyed Peas, and got off to a bad start immediately because none of us were thinking and practically ran into these two girls who were trying to get out. So anyways, we got seated, and the lady (bless her soul) who came to serve us came and there was something that was really awkward about it but I forgot. Anyways, so she had to come three times to get our order. The first time Beth asked for pasta, but they stopped serving that, so, Oh! A couple more minutes, please. For some reason we get onto a tangent or something, I think it had something to do with this french song that I learned. The waitress comes back after about 7 minutes, and right as she comes Bethany goes "So, dad, do you want to split the steak, or do you want to....", and I just looked at them and was like, uhm...weren't y'all supposed to do that a couple minutes ago? And so of course we apologize profusely to the lady and request a couple more minutes. Then after she comes back after a little while longer we finally have everything straight. So, while the food is getting prepared, there is this family that comes in, and we're already loud because we're all laughing at something really funny. The family sits right behind us (we were in booths), and then, I'm NOT joking, they leave that table after three minutes. They go to the OPPOSITE SIDE of the restaurant! So now, not only are we loud, but we are obviously isolated because there is a six-table radius of vacancy surrounding us while other families and couples are enjoying their nice, quiet dinners. haaaa. And, so, of course that tickles us, and so the next five minutes were completely crazy. First of all, Bethany is laughing uncontrollably. After a while it isn't even about anything anymore. This causes us to laugh. And if you know my family you know that we aren't very good at laughing quietly. Somewhere in the midst of all that Beth knocks over her lemonade onto dad and the booth, still laughing. We clean it up and cover the spill on the table with a plate. Beth is STILL laughing! She seems to come to a plateau, and so I try to continue what I had wanted to say earlier. Beth starts cracking up again, and so, I promise you, there is a Five minute time period where there is nothing but solid laughter! Me and dad laugh too, but mostly because we have no idea what is going on. Beth starts CRYING now. And at first it was because she was laughing, but then she actually stopped laughing and started crying. Me and dad look at eachother and have NO idea what is going on. We ask her why she's weeping and she said that she's overwhelmed by everything and that she's needed a good cry because everything's too much right now. We console her and let her get some stuff out, and then she starts laughing again! It was about this point when the waitress comes with the food, and we just let her know that it's best that she doesn't ask or think anything of this scene, and she promptly replies, with a grin, that she wasn't planning on doing so. We finally pull ourselves together (though it was mostly Bethie we were worried about:). Beth and dad eat while I keep on the lookout for anyother mini-fiascos. Dad thinks the waiter hates us (which I'm sure that she at least just got a kick out of the whole scenario if nothing else) and so he tips her abundantly. We actually get to serious conversation, and me and bethie shared about our blue moods as of late. We finally leave (I'm sure many people were very glad) and continue good conversation during the 40 minute drive or whatever back to home.

It was a great night!

Wow...so surreal!

I was doing  homework last night, and I knew that I had to like type up this DBQ project thingie due for well, today...but first I wanted to take a short nap. So I set my alarm for 30 minutes. Note to self- don't do that at 9 at night. 'Cause I just woke up (it's 3:54 a.m.). You have no idea how scared I was that it was 6. Anyways, I had this really weird dream about KidzCamp (my second one so far...). Like the whole entire student ministry was there, and I remember a BUNCH of basketball goals and trucks. Anyways. The real reason I'm posting is because right now I am on THE coolest computer I have ever seen. Dad basically bought a computer two weeks ago just because. Well, I suppose not just because. The real reason is our other Windows computer was a piece of crud. But this one is basically like a 15 inch DELL. Mmmmm buddy!


Well, now I'm going to finish my homework and then get ready for school. hahaa.

Too busy.

But I do love Tuesdays...
NOTHING to do!
I got to watch two episodes of Gilmore Girls. mmmmmmm.
 

Trying not to go insane!

Haha, me and mom and dad and Andrew just had this long talk. It started out with me noting that I, for some reason, have felt a tad depressed in the latter part of the day. I figured out it was because of all this Homecoming talk. A perfect example of the reason for this blue feeling is yesterday when Taylor was over, and me her and Beth were talking. I was kind of joking around about how I really want to get asked to homecoming before my Senior year is over (well, I wasn't joking. But I was joking in the sense that I was dramatizing my perils), and Beth was like, "Hey, it's okay. You still have a lot of ti- oh, I forgot- you're already a Junior". Another one of those "You're short" moments. Sigh. Mom and dad claim I'm "intimidating" and that "it's not me" and that "people like me but are too afraid to say it". Well, I WANT PROOF! hahaaa. This is the crux of the issue. There is no evidence of anything that people say to me of this sort. I'm not complaining, of course. Nope...not me. I'll be the first to admit that I have high standards. But, ya know...it'd be nice to have at least ONE experience such as that in high school. Even so, it's not like every guy falls short of even just half the standards. I don't know...I guess it's just every once in a while I kind of just want to shout, "Okay...I'm on the market now...! Remember that post I posted on my sixteenth birthday? Yeah, that was permission to pursue!" Eh, I'm fine. I'm sorry that I'm having a little bit of a pity-party post (...everyone's invited!). But I'm a girl, for crying out loud! I'm supposed to have these kind of thoughts. I'm supposed to want someone to want me. I'm allowed a blue day and a bag of kettle corn and a half pint of mint chocolate ice cream and A Walk to Remember every once in a while. It's what keeps girls like me sane. It's what gives us powaaaa...

First on the agenda:
I heard news of a dancing oven mitt at the (formerly Fazoli's) Arby's by the church.

I can't TELL you how much I wish I could have seen that. I think it's pretty obvious why.



Next- I know that I'm a day late, but....


HAPPY EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY, BRO!!!

I love you. Thanks for all you do! You're a great older brother. You've been gifted with such intelligence and talent. God has so many things in store for ya!

As you see in the title, I did make a "New and Improved Homework Mix". My old one was made probably around a year ago...so I thought I'd renew it- though there are some oldies that have returned to it. Or maybe just one oldie- "No Man's Woman" by Sinead O'Connor. That one will never get old.

On a different note, I sort of made two decisions today regarding these next two weeks. First off, I tithed a good portion of my "meager" (just kidding, mom and dad:) bi-weekly allowance...and it hurt, haha. But I believe it's what I needa do. Second, I'm deciding to tithe my time by way of AIM fast. AIM is becoming less and less of a problem, but I kind of want to prevent it before it potentially does. I don't really know how or why that idea came about, but I think it was a combination of Pastor Mark's message (IT'S A SIN TO BE LAZY) and Jeremy's message (devotion to the local church). haha, it doesn't really seem like those two together would correlate with AIM fast, but for some reason it just popped in my head that I need to, and I was like...gah. Can't not, now. I guess I just need extra time to work hard school-wise and to devote time to growing. Again, it hurts, haa...but it's for the greater good. And I'm sort of anxious to see how it turns out. Maybe I'll regain a normal and natural sleeping pattern again.